/Suifuel/

I don't have link to the thread. Have you ever heard of my tale about the online girl I fall in love and talked with her around one year then she dissapeared?
I'm eating rn I'll give greentext later if you didn't

I'm not going anywhere buddy, Ill wait.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna die completely alone, probably only my brothers would come to my funeral, but they'd probably be busy anyway. It sucks that I'm the eldest and I'm the one who spends his weekends alone at home, while they go hang out with their friends. I'm a fucking drag.

>grow up alone, never having friends and always being picked on
>never had any luck with girls
>meet the new girl in my high school
>shes the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes on
>she approaches me first when im sitting alone at lunch
>becomes my only friend
>start dating after only 3 weeks of friendship and fall madly in love with her
>lose our virginities to each other
>6 years of dating go by and we decide to get married
>perfect honeymoon, new home lined up to move across the country and start our new lives together
>never argued or disagreed, would just work and come home and enjoy being with each other
>exactly 20 days after our first anniversary married she ghosts me on everything and moves back in with her parents all the way across the country all while im at work one Friday
>the only thing she left behind was a note saying that she couldnt deal with my mental illness anymore and that I deserve to be alone
>try to commit suicide and fail
This was about 3 weeks ago. I will try again.

That fucking sucks man. Do you two have any children together? What mental disorder do you have?

Girls laugh and girls cry and girls fall in love with so many guys over the course of their younger years, and it often breaks their hearts to see the guys are in relationships or taken. There are almost 4 billion girls in the world. Nobody has ever been heartbroken over me what the fuck is this existence.

Maybe they have, user. Maybe you just didn't notice.

We dont have any kids together. We had a dog, but she took my dog back to her parents place. I love my dog a lot, but im glad she wont be here to see me commit suicide because she wouldnt be able to understand. I have bipolar disorder type 1. She left me in a manic period where my psychotic episodes were particularly bad. According to her friends she just woke up one day and decided to do it with only a week notice. Her parents bought her the plane ticket and she was gone without even trying to work it out with me. She was really good at helping me through it. Last night I got really drunk and threw a bottle at a stranger at 4am because I thought she mightve been trying to kill me.

Are you going to attempt suicide? If so, in what manner?

suifuel? i posted before, but absolutely nothing can beat this suffering.
>be me
>be young 13 year old autist in the mid 90s
>chatting about programming stuff with a user in one of the #unix efnet channels late on a school night
>receive a pm from the user
>we agree to work on a floppy disk driver for an old toshiba laptop together the next day
>we eventually share asl about a week or so later
>it's a "girl" that lives in the same state (45 minutes away) literally a year younger than me
>doubt.jpg
>to make things easier and finally get proof, i find a phone conference
>she dials in and sounds like a mouse
>hyperventilating.exe
>talk everyday and months later we meet at hershey park with her little sister
>she's 4ft nothing with long sandy blonde hair, glasses, and just overall extremely cute
>our families let us go off on our own with her little sister
>we hold hands, kiss, and ride rides together
>eventually we have to part ways
>she starts crying but promise we'll keep working on stuff together
>we meet frequently for hackathons and vidya sleepovers
>over a few years she slowly fades away due to school work getting serious
>she was incredibly gifted and went to college after 10th grade
>fast-forward.exe
>we sparsely communicate over the 15 years but time passes since my last letter to her
>she never responded but understandable
>two years ago from present
>end up receiving forwarded letter from my parent's house
>it's a wedding invitation
>a picture falls to the ground and it's a recent picture of her
>she included old pictures of us, a response to the letter i wrote awhile ago, and a floppy disk of code
>hysterically break down
>literally howl crying for hours to the point of my neighbor checking on me
>muster up the courage to go only for a few moments
>she's beautiful
>stand there completely soulless as life and happiness surround me
>we hug and she says she always loved me
>leave completely destroyed
the death blow? her husband fucking looks exactly like me.

Attached: 1564507893773.gif (170x196, 919K)

dealer on darknet cancelled my H order. How am I supposed to commit sudoku now?

REEEEEEEEE

I tried a suspension hanging but I bitched out because it hurt too much. I think when I do it next time ill use a shotgun.

Fentanyl. Close enough and its got a higher fatality rate. The smack you ordered was probably cut with it anyway.

If you can get a shotgun, go for it. I'll have to be a bit more creative, though, since guns aren't as easy to get.

Fentanyl is too hard to get in the UK. Even on the darknet.

I'm just going to keep trying to get my hands on some H.

Fucking hell man. I'd just leave the country and start a new life elsewhere.

Nitrogen is also an option. Won't burn your lungs, it'll just replace the oxygen.

This is about me
>perpetually slightly above average, meaning people always expect me to perform, creating massive anxiety
>can make acquaintances easily, but only have 5 close friends
>usually only get invited to parties if a group needs a driver
>girls I'm interested in usually consider me the 2nd or 3rd option, but it never actually goes anywhere
>girls aren't really interested in me as a person, only as the hunk of well trained flesh you can take bragging pictures with
>dorky and shy girls consider me above their league, and usually go for someone more like them
>always make jokes about everything to mask my complete lack of normie conversation topics
I'm the exact kind of person to just suddenly turn up dead on the rails for "no reason", seeing as I was always so "happy" and everyone "liked" me
I hope so much this is fake because nobody should have to bear that

Attached: If_only.png (397x374, 169K)

I can also make acquaintances easily, but I have no real friends. Nobody wants to have any kind of relationship with me it seems.

i tried. i crash landed into a large city after essentially binge drinking myself half to death. guess who moved here with her husband? i've been trying to take it as some sign, of some sort. i don't know. i'm probably just delusional.
user, i wouldn't be here if it was fake. i empathize with you on everything you've said though. there's really no off this ride, is there?

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If there is a god, he has a fucked sense of humor.

Alright man
>be me
>in highschool, last year
>got a dm from a random account
>talk with the "girl"
>"are you single"
>"yes, I'm always alone. You should be able to realize that just by looking at me"
>she's confused
>"how is this possible" etc
>apparently she loves me
>I don't believe her obviously
>I tell her she found the wrong Rero
>she sends me a pic of myself walking
>she took a selfie with me in the background (lol) and she's looking at me
>8/10 pretty fucking cute
>also sends me a drawing of my face which was pretty good too
>talk with her for months (maybe one year?)
>never met irl
>she mentions that she wrote our names on (kinda important bridge that has a small meaning)

>she's cute. She acts cute. I love her voice
>she's perfect in every aspect
>school ends, I graduate, summer... We are still talking
>she asks me out for... 4th time?
>I accept
>One month passes
>one day she doesn't checks my messages
oh god took some long time to find the messages
>she comes back at night
>She forgot her phone at home and they will be staying with their relatives
>texting from a random kids phone
>she has to go now
Two days later
God translating is hard
>my messages to her were about "are you dead"

>I'm not dead yay
>but I still don't have my phone
>I have to go, the kid wants his phone back :(

The following messages are me, messaging her for 2 months and slowly getting worse

I thought about suicide. And that day I had to walk over that bridge. Our names were there. I sit on that bridge for hours that day
I still love her I guess

I guess I'll share my story with you aswell
>be me
>be 2 years ago
>highschool
>saw this one girl in my class
>looks different than everyone else
>I stare at her in class in she seems in to it
>A year passes and nothing happens

Typical fucking me

>be second year highschool
>be dance class

in that dance class we change dance partners in a circle. she came over to me, even though she shouldn't have

>she was really chatty
>I thought she was the silent type
>talked about random shit, not related to dance

Also, there was a class fieldtrip to the movies. It was a patriotic movie and it was free. Pretty good movie too.

>she asked if I would go to the movies
>I said I had no choice
>We talked about the movie a little bit
>then the class ended
>she seemed really disappointed by this
>said she'll meet me later, in the movies

cont?

Yeah man
Never ask for cont just cont

>arrive in movies
>we had to get there ourselves, some used the bus (like me) some used taxis and ubers
>Don't see her
>The theater is full, no wonder
>Watch movie

It was about the soviets and their influnce on us. Film was made by an american. I remember he asked us to raise our hand, if any of us had family that was exhiled and killed in the camps. A lot of people raised their hands. Was surreal

>back to the story
>get back home
>grow a pair of balls
>chat her up on facebook messenger

This was the first time I had chatted with a girl, I had to use help to not look like a complete retard.

>asked her about the movie
>she read the book, said it was pretty accurate
>I don't really care, but ok
>Apperantly she really likes to read
>also writing
>holy shit she's actually pretty good at writing
>she's deep
>that's when I fell in love

>After that, we chatted everyday
>Made memes, talked about life and such
>pretty cozy stuff
>around winter break (keep in mind, this started in october) I invited her on a date
>she actually said yes
>didn't expect it at all
>honestly didn't know what to do, I was never this far along before
>date day comes along
>go to movie theather (it was a movie date, wanted to make it nice and simple)
>she's there
>holy fuck
>this might actually be it
>sperg out
>spew god knows what
>I was really dang nervous
>movie was "bumble bee', if interested
>pretty good movie
>leave theater
>chatting along the way
>going to the bus stop
>more chatting
>in the bus
>also chatting
>eventually we had to part ways
>got on the bus to home
>I couldn't believe what just happened to me
>I've never felt so dang happy
>I honestly don't even remember what we talked about, i was pretty much high the whole time.
>keep chatting on facebook messenger after that.
>almost a month goes by

>Decide to ask her on another date
>busy
>try the second weekend
>she's busy again
>repeat this for like 3 months

>eventually get sick of it
>wanna confess real badly, it has been keeping me up at night
>practically beg her to give me just 15 minutes of her time
>wait for her in her local park
>I've been there before, but I was alone
>I waited on a bench, near the pond
>It was a beautiful spring day, almost summer
>still pretty chilly, some people still wore coats
>then she came
>she had a white trenchcoat on, looked like a witch hunter
>I took aback from this
>She sat next to me
>asked why I needed to tell her something in person
>then I confessed
>i stuttered a little, made it seem more real to me
>I couldn't believe what I was doing
>When I finished, she proceeded to laugh
>Said I didn't love her
>Tried to convince her
>No use
>After calming down, she said she didn't feel the same
>I walked her home
>Then I went on the bus home
>This whole experience felt like a dream

>Realize what actually happened when I get home
>Never felt so empty inside
>I still chat with her sometimes, we have nice banter
>Hurts like hell everytime

I still feel empty. It's been 6 months after the confession. I still think about her all the time. There's no hope for us, is it?

>professing your love
>ever
i'm just going to interject here and mention that you should never, under any circumstances, ever do this.
>There's no hope for us, is it?
no. there's not.

But i had to. How would have I found peace otherwise?

you let things develop organically by letting go. the moment you start persisting and applying pressure on things, women throw it into reverse and haul ass out of there (emotionally speaking of course). distance makes the heart grow fonder. by deliberately segregating yourself and limiting your interaction with said person, they will come to recognize that they may have feelings for you by identifying that they miss you.

relationships are a constant power dynamic. keep your cards close to your chest and never over play your hand.

I'll know better in the future. Keep in mind, this was my very first attempt. I was very sure I'd die alone.

>lives in the same state (45 minutes away)
u did it to yourself nigga
still hope its fake

>40 Replies
>11 Posters
Go back to your discord servers you fucking faggots.

Man I am sorry but this is what happens when you confess
Truth hurts

I perfectly knew what would happen. I just thought If I had heard it from her lips, it would ease my mind. Nope.

i used to be a champion bodybuilder. i was an addict, to keep on top i would use steroids, dianabol, sterol. they use that on racing horses, believe me or not. due to the hormonal unbalance my breasts have grown to be bigger than basketballs, and i'll have to do another drain surgery soon.
Now i'm broke, my wife has left me two years ago, and my only two children won't even return my calls.

Atleast your dick worked, if you had kids.

My mother is schizophrenic and talks nonsense. She won't eat food and just growls at me and and then gets put back in the hospital after she goes several days without eating.

This was the most retarded reply I've seen today
And this is coming from a tripfag
Damn user that's pretty fucked up
Did you know this was going to happen?

how old is your mother?

originally

i knew there would be consequences but there's no other way to stay competitive in that medium