I feel sad and lonely

it's just part of life I guess. Oh yeah she's really pretty isnt she, nice eyes.
what's going on in your life, though, that would cause breakdowns

27. Yeah I'm very grateful. I did have a shitty life, though. My life has improved, but I feel more suicidal.

Is it because of school? What are you studying.

I've had a fucking good week. Interest from girls, therapy is going better, its been a good ass week.

You and me both my brother. Sad shit is you can't stop trying because you know you'll just fucking die and for whatever reason you don't want to.

Just gotta appreciate the happy moments even if you're not a happy person.

Managed to scrape enough together for a six-pack, had to borrow 30kr from a mate.
Got a bud of weed as well. Should be enough to get me comfy while I play vidya.

Moving into a new flat on monday as well.
Nervous, but I'm actually optimistic and happy at the moment

this is really true man, glad you're having a great week

Hey that's sounding awesome man, living alone for the first time? Kr Norwegian right? What's it like where you live?

I don't know. I was a neet for 10 years due to illness. It's like the hope of friends, a job, studying at a uni, and romance were the things that kept me going. But when I finally experienced those things, I realised they weren't that great. And now I have nothing to hope or long for. And there's of course childhood trauma issues that permeate everything. Also 149 days sober and I can't rely on alcohol to fill the emptiness anymore. I'm studying maths. I'm more concerned about my mandatory scientific writing class. I feel like a brainlet and an imposter.
I feel like every bit of improvement I attempt doesn't actively improve my life. It just prevents it from getting worse. Like keeping myself above water. It's all so tiresome.

I just have these bottled up emotions. I'm on antidepressants now, but they haven't taken effect yet. I have to prevent a breakdown because a bunch of people are worried about me. They have all made plans so that they can spend time with me over the next couple of days, and if I break down, then they will see how pathetic I am. It's putting on a lot of extra stress.

I know that they care about me a lot and they just want the best for me, but that doesn't make it less stressful.

Damn that must have been a pretty bad illness. But atleast ur better now right? Oh yeah, those things truly aren't as great as they seem to be, I can understand why you see life as being empty.
Why do you yourself an imposter?

You shouldn't be concerned too much about how people may perceive you as pathetic. If they're the right people they'd understand what youre going through. If they care about you they wouldn't look down on you for having mental health problems.

Right on the money. Norway is awesome, and fall is coming on, which is the best time of year here.

But that also signifies the oncoming winter, which I think is gonna be rough

Ok, thanks user. They care about me, and I'm very grateful to have them in my life.

Hey dude I have a question, can an English speaker live good there? Is there a problem with crime too or is it chill.

I feel like shit man, I ... just want to be happy...
It's all feels wrong, the music, the movies and the TV series, the drugs ...
I am fucking lost man, lost in my own brain, but who cares anyway right? Do you care a little bit?
This is just another fucking blog post.
I miss life, real life... being normal, not a fucking monster, a ill piece of shit with psychological suffering for breakfast, dinner and dessert, blinded and tormented everyday by my burned dopamine receptors.
And I wake up, hating myself, hating that first cigarrette because it's unhealthy.. and drinking the coffee just because it's what people do. I want true love, sleeping with someone, somewhere, in a hotel feeling that I am important, that I have reached a place. My dad, he doesn't gives or shows affection, he's kinda a hillbilly/redneck, raised old school ... My mom is a smart, caring woman, but she barely can support our shit and usually mocks my feelings by saying stuff like "be grateful for having all your limbs,there are people who don't have legs, what about them?" Should they feel bad?"
Dad drinks, I do nothing, I found a cocaine dealer, bought and used for a couple of days, it's not physically addictive, it's quick, fast and kinda good,not great but good, but expensive, too expensive. Maybe having a few more friends, Jow Forums is nice ... Even on Discord I can talk to people ... I am not a normie ... I just had this epiphany writing this, it's 2019 .. and I am not who I was a long time ago

Cocaine isn't worth it man. And I feel you, the whole idea of things feeling better in the past. Jow Forums has a few good people here. Threads like these are good for company of Thats what you want, that's why I make them.

Thanks, I feel better ...

I know how you feel user. I have been repressing it for very long now. I'm 26 now. I feel like i've missed so much. I've never had a real relationship with anyone (though some women have actually hit on me when I was younger and much less fat). Still a fucking virgin. Fapping everyday, but it doesn't sate the feeling of loneliness. It feels like something is missing in my life. I want someone in my life that I can be with. I'm uninteresting, jobless and still living with my parents. It's the most unattractive thing out there, no one is interested in that shit. But those feelings remain. I guess need to face my fears and go out of my comfort zone or i'm going fucking crazy. It's really been getting to me lately, I've not felt it like this before
Hope you can get it together user. Let's try