Starting my first ever job

starting my first ever job
im 20 years old and never worked will they find out i lied about work experience??
help pls

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don't worry you'll quit within the week

i need money to buy and live in a van. im going to drive out to nevada and kill myself

I hope you don't mean it...

if your gonna kill yourself then just steal a van
like really

lmao this is kind of funny. anyways, if you're just going for a low-tier shit retail job, no they usually won't find out. just make sure you can adequately bullshit during the interview about your past work experience and that should be sufficient

i went into the interview and just lied out of my ass
i start on monday but i literally cant do shit

wont get far if i just steal it i would need to switch plates, forge some registration.
if i ever get pulled over ill most likely get arrested on the spot. how bout you give me some actual advice i asked for you retard

So just steal money or look for other source like selling things, inversions, etc. As u say, u need money for a short-term objective.

whatever man just roll with it

already sold everything i own, i could almost buy a shit van but i also need money for gas and water

why are you going to kill yourself user?

just steal money or items to sell and buy one
fucking retard
enjoy hell or the empty faggot don't insult me
use common sense

just because i want to kill myself doesnt give me the right to act like some jiggaboo and steal shit.

whoops meant for you
maybe i am retarded

Why save up to an hero when you could live a comfy RV life?

>just because i want to kill myself doesnt give me the right to act like some jiggaboo and steal shit.
steal from rich people and assholes you tard

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if i lose my shit over a minimum wage job im pretty sure ill actually shit myself if i attempt some sort of robbery

why do you even want to kill yourself?
just try to steal from walmart and run away if they try to stop you

doubt i could get away and the thought certainly ran through my head. the best thing i came up with is wageslave until i have a considerable amount where i wouldnt die 3 days in the road

They will if you tell them. Otherwise nobody will pay enough attention to put the pieces together

thats the plan until i run out of money

No and if they do it doesn't really matters that you are now in the bad books of wendys hamburger resteraunts.

guess im giving these people too much credit

The only way they're going to find out is if they do a reference check and call your previous employer. If you're going to lie about work experience it's useful to have some sort of friend or relative that actually owns a business and help him lie for you. Then there's a real business you could have actually worked at.

If they don't find out at that point they're not going to find out. Just take your fake experience off your resume when you get your next job. Even if somebody gave a rats ass enough to investigate the resume of a minimum wage employee, and I assure you nobody gives a fuck, if they found out you lied TO GET YOUR FIRST JOB most people are going to keep their mouths shut and look the other way. Now if you go around telling people what you did that might be different but at that point you're playing yourself.

You do have to understand you are going to have some of the least competent employees out there hiring people. These are entry level jobs. People who end up climbing the ladder of some dead end job are eternally mediocre.

>op says he's gonna khs
>never explains why
op sounds like he could be somewhat cool
he also sounds like he's maybe 19 though

thanks friend i guess from what people say about minimum wage workers im in the clear. i already got past the interview so i guess there isnt a big chance of getting caught. im just afraid ill break a fryer or get an order wrong and get assaulted by some nig

why do you wanna kill yourself op? explain faggot explain

Just started my first job today. I'm 28. I absolutely crushed it, and I'm pretty sure the front desk lady is flirting with me.

You can do it OP. Fake it until you make it.

didnt want to explain myself but my mother stole my identity and got me 32k in debt in credit card and student loans (never went to school) for her and her black boyfriend she cheated with my dad just to flex on facebook with extravagant spending and trips. and i got catfished by some disgusting tranny for about 2 years. i am ruined in all sense and i just want to get out

thanks user wish you the best

Make a biographic book and gives lusty details about that tranny. In a matter of seconds it will be bestseller.

jesus christ
is there no protection against identity theft credit cards? weird that you would have credit since you never had a job or went to college like a good goy

I wouldn't recommend suicide just yet but if you are going to go through with it defiantly torture that nigger and whore of a mother you have make it slow and painful
and maybe the tranny depending on what all he did

besides that my life is very uneventful
i lack any writing talent or basic grammar

If you change your environment, you may see things a bit different

If you're going to kill yourself, at least hunt and kill your mom and nigger boyfriend aswell dude.

she took a student loan out and had her boyfriend pretend was me. students get lots of credit card offers and they just took out every single one and maxed them. even if by some miracle i pay all of it off, obviously the nigger never showed up to class so my grades are eternally if i ever decide to go to school. i could sue my mom but she will defend this nigger with all of her strength. i dont have any money for a lawyer and my father is flat broke, we barely get by iv had to sell most of my possesions which is why im phone posting. iv spoken to several lawyers for consultation and they all unanimously agreed that im fucked in every possible way. it really hurts when i wake up in the middle of the night and hear my dad crying

the sad part is my dad still loves her and it if he found out i killed her it would destroy him. i have no anger left im just dead inside, she thinks she still loves him and wont let go. it hurts seeing someone so self destructive

>the sad part is my dad still loves her and it if he found out i killed her it would destroy him. i have no anger left im just dead inside, she thinks she still loves him and wont let go. it hurts seeing someone so self destructive
disgusting onions father

cant bring myself to do it, my dad has held me down because i would get in these fits of rage and i would end up breaking down in tears by the time i reach the bus stop. the tranny filled me up with lies and left me to hang dry when i flew to vancouver to meet up.

oh i see
did he ever say anything else?
i would defiantly kill that piece of shit wasting 2years of my life
i thought you meant you thought he was a girl a long time

You need to turn him against her and ruin her life

if i were to do anything it would be murder and then what? i take the heat and rot in prison or my dad rots and my little brother has no father figure? theres no viable way to do anything

he lied about being a real girl for years. its my own fault for being an idiot for so long. he would angle photos he sent me and trained himself to talk in a quiet soft girly voice with voice changing software assistance. even when he outed himself he said it was my fault cause of my reaction saying it would work if we tried. the only person i ever opened up to completely just prayed on me out of desperation because no normal male would accept him. i felt like the butt of the joke, like i was some middle schooler girls would pretend to date just to fuck with.

>Steal van
>Cop tries to pull you over
>Lead cops on a multi state car chase while listening to cool tunes
>When van runs out of gas pretend to pu a gun out of your pocket
>Be killed in a hail of gunfire

There faggot. Youre dead and are out west

i want to see america, the great plains, the south, the great lakes, the west. im stopping at nevada because california is a shithole. i just want one moment of happiness before i go away. getting shot with cop and news helicopters all around me isnt my idea of happy

i'm sure there's other ways to ruin peoples lives

I'm sorry that sucks
how long in until you found out?
i know every tranny i'v talked to ghosted me with like a day

after seeing all that you will probably want to live as a traveling nomad

It's pretty likely they won't even ask about anything past the interview point, especially at a low-tier or entry-level job. Most times they don't even ask anything past the initial question. Every job I've ever had, they didn't even care to fully read the resume; they just checked off boxes on a clipboard and boom I'm hired. They never asked any questions about previous work after that either.

Bullshitting isn't so hard either, just make up some stuff to have it sound real (i.e. "my previous manager moved to regional" or "he doesn't work there anymore" if they ask for proof). Just stick to the story and don't provide any more details than you have to.

with this debt they will find some way to chew into my future paychecks and squeeze me for what little im worth. until im shackled down in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and live out my days as a heroin addict or town drunk. i have no skills and no one will love me because im a fat brown pathetic piece of shit. i probably wont make it to the end of my trip and pass out on painkillers in a walmart parking lot

i bluffed and said i had previous experience in fast food, i would assume they would have certain expectations from me. im very dumb and slow so it takes me a while for me to grasp concepts and routines. im just scared ill get fired in a week and hire some skinny black girl or something that can flip burgers and clean better than me anyways

Fuck it man, go big or go home. Do you know anybody with a really good insurance policy?
It can be hard to pull off but you could conduct a scam and flee the country before it gets out of hand. For example, you could fake your death to get life insurance money (you'd have to intercept it before it gets to your relatives) or crash your car, or burn down the house, etc. Then move to Chile or Mexico or somewhere the insurance companies can't effectively get to you.

it was 2 years of fooling myself into thinking a good person genuinely liked me. next month would have made it 3.

the only people i have any contact with is my brother and my dad. my brother is 13 and my dad is a poor immigrant

Don't worry they'll explain how to do fast food shit to you. Just try to be quick with your hands, precise if you have to cut stuff, but steady also when you handle stuff.

At most fast food places they are required to tell all new employees how to do things and show them the ropes anyways. Just use a wikihow if it seems hard and ask some questions to other employees.
And you should not worry about more complex things like the register or taking orders. Unless they are understaffed they won't put you on those jobs until a few weeks have passed, so you have time to learn from other's examples.
I literally opened boxes, washed dishes, and fried tortilla chips for the first 4 weeks of my job at a Mexican fast-food chain, it was piss easy, although boring. Also, speak with a clear and announcing voice, and use manners.

Your best bet is to just start a new identity at this point. Fake passports/ids are in every other ghetto side of town and you could probably find someone online like on Craigslist. That way you can get out of debt. I would recommend just eating dirt cheap like rice beans cheese fruit kind of shit. Then you can get your car and run far away maybe even do a delivery on the side and live a simple life of a nomad. Who knows maybe you can be fixed if you just become someone else

be a wandering nomad begger
just get a jar
gg ez
and if any mental illnesses get neetbux

>im a fat brown pathetic piece of shit.
feels weird you specified the moms bf as a nigger
still bad assuming your not a nigger hell still bad even assuming that fuck that whore "mother".

thanks user, hopefully i will get a grip and learn the job quickly. they will most likely put me on night shifts so that seems comfy. and it would be nice to bring the family some free food once in a while

how do you even fake a death? doesn't a doctor have to declare you dead?

im a beaner not a nig. her boyfriend is technically dominican which is the spanish nigger. every stereotype about how niggers abuse the welfare system and generally loud and obnoxious can be applied to dominicans.

damn did you find out before you decided to meet up?
i would kill the motherfucker
why is nobody loyal everyone is evil

i wouldnt even know where to start with a process like that. but it seems very enticing.

>how niggers abuse the welfare system
well i mean society and the goverment deserves it but usually when i do see a nigger doing it he has a ton of drug money and i see tons of fucked in the head people get denied

>abandon car
>spill ur blood all in seat
then wait a couple months is my best bet
i have no idea how you would collect the money though or escape the country

I learned working in food joints that if you quickly build a rep as a worker and just force being positive most of the time. They will be reluctant to fire or replace you even if you do a mediocre job. Just stay attentive and be nice to your fellow co workers like ask them whats up or shoot a joke. Also user if you need a bit of dough and you have like a paypal or something I can send you a few bucks. Its not much but I hope I can help a fellow robot out

I have been a similar ride OP
>have round 40k debt for well over 7 years and i still refuse to pay it even though it was my own fault
>gather as much knowledge as possible in surviving innawoods and edible plants, fruit, fungi and veggies.
>spare no free time because i would be hitting the streets soon
>spent 4 months homeless innawoods, it was about as hellish as it can get, parasites, wild predators, rabid animals, disease, constant food and water problem.
>my next meal mattered, everything i did mattered big time and constantly try my best to not fuck it up or slack
>enjoyed the sense of freedom and basically telling the bank, goberment, NEETs, whores and normies to go fuck themselves
>planned on staying like this forever until my brother decided to call law enforcement and search teams to look for me
>ended up in his house and hated everything about living there, everything i did is not rewarding at all
Despite the conditions were hell, you have complete freedom and don't even worry about money.. if you know what you're doing
I diden't know much about living innawoods because i often lived in the city, but the fears of being homeless for a long time forced me to go full Jow Forumsommando.
That fucking sucks having your identity used by a nigger and whore. if was in your shoes i would've bought the cheapest handgun and enough to fill up a whole magazine and shot both of them and become an outlaw.

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>first job
Damn how the hell did you pass that one did you just do what OP did or did the employer just couldnt give a shit? Im 21 right now and havent had a job yet hoping employers dont care about my age when i apply truthfully.

i was stuck in the airport waiting for hours for her(him) to greet me and pick me up. he then confessed his web of lies through discord and said to just get a hotel so we can talk it over because he lived at home and didnt want to explain anything to his parents. i screamed at him through the phone and he started to cry and called me a shithead, that i was lucky he found me because anyone else would find me repulsive. he said he was going to break up with me eventually because i wasnt even cute like his fucking chink cartoons. then proceed to cry and apolgize saying we could make this work. i was slamming my head against the wall and airport security had to drag me away and interrogate me until i was eventually let go. i tried to exchange my return flight to go home but company policy didnt have any of it. with the little money i had i took to take an almost 48hr bus ride home.

Here this is a verified list of fake ID dealers meaning they most likely wont scam you if you order from them.

what in the fuck he's completely insane
last you ever heard? stupid piece of shit

no need user the good advice is enough. hopefully i can sell the wide eyed hard worker bit. i do always try my best but i usually fall flat. maybe i was just born mediocre or something

one of my concerns was cost
how much would a complete set of new documents even cost?

i havent heard from
him for about 6 months. i sold my computer and deleted everything. changed my phone number as well as a precaution. i have shelled myself off from any form of communication besides r9k but im sure the retarded tranny is probably lurking here

sounds sick living in the woods fending for yourself. also living in a city i have great appreciation for the outdoors even though i never stepped foot into it. the thought of killing them passes through my mind and its very hard pushing the urge

where are you staying at now user? friend's or family's house? maybe you can convince one of your old friends you used to hang out with to crash for a bit or maybe a relative that you are on good terms with. if you have vehicle maybe you could do like UberEats or Doordash if your current job falls through and you can go to a soup kitchen or some shit.

>afraid of parents
>begins shittalking you while sucking his own cock as a poor defense mechanism
How old is this manchild

currently staying with my dad, i usually just clean and cook. i have a gig picking up and dropping off workers for a job agency. its usually 50 for the day but its very easy work but all of it goes into paying bills for my dad and food expenses. i dont have a vechicle and i doubt i can get one considering my debt. i applied for a mcjob so i could bring in more income to help my dad (the other reason my parents split besides cheating was the debt my mom accumulated using my dads credit cards) and to fuel this escapade im working on.

>tfw he might be in this very thread
all trannies do that same shit though
i had one leave me after 2 days for a fucking methead and last i heard they where alone and didn't even know who i was just had me added on something i forgot about
he's likely dead now

i bit older than me, 23 years old. the sad part is that he was probably the best i could do in regards to relationships. from what i gathered here i have no hope in finding a biological girl that isnt a complete piece of shit

i find solice that he might be dead. no one should feel that sense of hopelessness, shame, and anger.

>sounds sick living in the woods fending for yourself
Is not like the movies at all sadly, something as simple as a bite from an animal would put your life at risk. i had to fend against a rabid coon and i was lucky that i diden't get bit and die within 48 hours. being careless would get you killed easily
Right i'm currently preparing to abandon society completely just waiting for winter to set to do test runs in the dreaded cold. and currently learning on log cabin construction, natural and modern medicine, extending my hunting skills and the list goes on.
If you apply all the shit you learned surviving innawoods with the right equipment you should be ok, just be ready to deal nature herself.
>the thought of killing them passes through my mind and its very hard pushing the urge
Better hope you have the urge to kill wild animals because if you don't have that then you're sorta fucked, i lived on nothing but fungi, fruits, plants and veggies for 2 months and it sucked. just remember killing animals is a matter of survival and not a matter of being a edgetard.

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if you're just living with your dad, then you should be alright for a bit then right? no real need to run away and kys unless I'm missing something here, is he a good guy?

if you were fully prepared to live off of the land where would would you even go? i would assume it would be in the thick of woods, maybe somewhere in canada

im secretly hoping that this dumb trip im planning will kick some sense into me. as of now mentally im not doing so hot. i dont feel like anything matters and whatever connection i make with someone is out of convenience or self gratification. my dad is great hes really a good guy, he really stepped up to the plate as a father. he consults my brother and me as much as he can. he quit drinking cold turkey and tries to take interest in what we are doing. it just eats me up inside when he talks about my mom and how hes working like a dog when hes almost hitting 60.

You don't wanna be too far north or too far south. you don't wanna be in a desert or a literal tropical shithole.
If you go far north you better know how to prepare on stockpiling food because you don't do that you're fucked. did i forget to mention that food doesen't last that long and is a big pain in the ass to find salt inland?
If you go far south you're gonna get your shit kicked in by insects and you're far more likely to get a fatal disease
If you go into a desert good luck finding some water, relying only on cactus water will fuck you over in the long run
If you go into the jungle better hope you know how to deal with everything that lives in the far south, especially.
In otherwords live somewhere in-between.

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how far the human species has come from living off the woods like feral animals. i guess in a way it really does put shit into perspective

>i find solice that he might be dead. no one should feel that sense of hopelessness, shame, and anger.
i was even thinking of challenging my olnly friend that ghosted me to a duel to the death
he'd be a coward to refuse
something like that and it's straight to torturing time for me

politicians use to have knife fights or shoot offs to settle disputes so the idea doesnt seem that outlandish. i doubt he would accept though, he gains nothing except a murder charge if he gets caught

Everybody lies about their work experience, it's normal. Just wait til you figure out how half assed and lazy everybody is.All the real work is done by a small minority of hardworking people, everybody else slacks off, it's the same for every job, except government jobs where everybody slacks off.

how fast would you be fired if you cant keep up with everyone else

look man, you probably don't need to kill yourself or run away. you could just stay under your pa's roof and just make some cash and eventually just move out on your own. If you don't want your old man to be upset you probably shouldn't kill yourself eiteher

I don't expect him to win but he is full of shit but then again my luck is terrible like really terrible and he's probably stupid enough
idk what the fuck happened he's completely different like he lost his mind

Duels should be legal it would solve a lot of problems
i'd want fists maybe a fight with clubs/sticks or fuck it a god damned medieval fight fit with sword/armor axe hammer whatever

my future looks bleak financially and education wise.
i just want to get away

>my future looks bleak financially and education wise.
reject that
both meaningless
just find anything you enjoy and go for it
even be it shitposting all day

consensual death matches
seems very based