I will never receive any kind of affection from a femanon. I'm trying the self improvement meme and while on a personal satisfaction level things aren't terrible, I have fully realized that no female will ever want to be intimate with me on any level. At this point even a short hug would leave me in tears.
The reasons for this are: >Late 20s, look much older than i am, even when i was 12-19 >5'6 >Struggled with weight, but no longer obese and well on my way to becoming super skinny as a result of amphetamines and eating very little >despite the weight loss, none of it will fucking matter as I am severely balding and am already at NW4 (approaching NW5) on the MPB chart >Absolutely zero attractive features. Beak-like nose, no jawline.
I cry myself to sleep every night hugging a plush wishing it was someone holding me in return. I try to talk to girls online and get to know them but the truth is that once they see my face they'll want nothing to do with me and cut off all contact
I just want to buy a shitload of heroin and overdose. At least my final moments can be spent in euphoria.
Ive been with couple of fembots and dating them before.
t. 5'6 manlet fat non white
>t. 5'6 manlet ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha how the fuck do you even live
I'm 168 and I live well actually I just wish I wasnt ugly
Aww user this is sad. I'd give you a hug if I could. All the self doubt is only going to hold you back so try not to think those thoughts. The right girl will think you're handsome no matter what because she'll love what's on the inside so much that she won't focus on your physical flaws. Perhaps you have more experience talking to shallow girls. Hopefully this makes you feel a little better, I don't think bald men are bad looking at all. You can pull it off really well if you can grow a beard and that will also camouflage a weak jaw. Bald men with facial hair can look masculine and attractive. Congratulations on the weight loss, that's admirable but please don't turn into a skeleton. Being healthy is generally seen as attractive and being underweight isn't healthy either.
What makes you want a femanon as opposed to a normal girl you can meet locally or in person?
Simply put- I'm not the kind of guy, personality wise, that meshes well with the bald + beard dudebro combo. I get that the logical response to balding is to just shave it all off and "dude get ripped, bro. Look at Jason Statham and the Rock hahaha", except those guys were already attractive men with good features. Plus the hypermasculine macho gym culture doesn't fit me at all. I'm not against doing cardio and bodyweight exercises to stay trim as opposed to skinnyfat, but if you're bald the only option that people love shoving down your throat is to get completely jacked. Conversely, as long as you've got a decent face, nice head of hair, and be at least 5'9 all you pretty much have to do is avoid being moderately overweight. Not only that but having a bald head severely limit your options for self expression. A hairstyle can make or break your appearance, especially if it can frame your face properly. Being bald as a young male not only robs you of that advantage, you pretty much stop being "young". You suddenly stop being 22-27, now you're anywhere from 32 to 40.
My face isn't friendly looking. Even if I were compelled to attain a decently muscular physique, all it would accomplish is making me look like a thug. Yeah you can argue that it's better to be intimidating than look like a complete beta, but even when I had a full head of hair and was going to the on-campus gym 3-4 times a week, I still had people comment that I was creepy looking. The only times I ever got complimented on my looks was from two obese, drunk 30something women at a bar. One classmate even said, in the nicest and most well intentioned way possible: "Bro, not for nothing, but your default expression is pretty offputting. You kind of look like a pedophile". And now that I'm older, when I decided to try the completely shaved look, my co-workers all joked about how I look like Gru from despicable me.
I'm an introverted guy by nature so I can understand that quiet + unattractive = creepy. I've tried everything from fixing my posture to looking at people in the eyes, to being more assertive and not giving a fuck, but by the end of the day it doesn't alter the fact that I am a sensitive, effeminate male at my core and my appearance is a direct contrast of that. Lanky, cute guys with thick hair and boyish looks can get away with being that way; being nerdy, quiet, awkward. Short, jew nosed, beta males with wispy pieces of straw where there should be hair can't get away with having those qualities. The kinds of girls I go for: the shy, accepting, nerdy, humble ones- they only go for the lean, youthful looking guys. Confidence only matters when you have the looks to back it up.
My hobbies are pretty boring in all honesty. Suffered from ADD all my life and unless I'm on my meds (I take 50mg of Adderall daily; one 30mg XR cap and one 20mg IR tab for later in the day. Also Wellbutrin 200mg XL once daily) I am pretty much a completely undisciplined, unmotivated dullard. When my meds are working fully and I'm "in the zone", I'm pretty dedicated. I can go for jogs, read books, sit through movies, immerse myself in a game- anything.
When I'm not medicated I'm pretty much anxious and frustrated all the time. Unable to sit through TV shows or movies, distract myself with a game, or even get through 5 minutes of a new anime episode that I've been putting off watching. I'll end up just lying in bed browsing my phone until it's time to go to bed. The thing is that I need to take my medication in a co-ordinated fashion so I can do my job. I need to have 100% focus so I don't make any oversights and at least when I'm in that state, I'm too enmeshed in my work to give a shit about my insecurities. I can pretty much just be in the moment. Yet when I come home, wind down, and my meds are wearing off I'm back to my default state: excessive rumination, insecurity, and unable to just live in the present and enjoy things and have interests or meaningful hobbies. If you lack attractiveness, then your only other recourse is to compensate by accumulating a respectable variety of skills, passions, creative pursuits, intellectual and cultural perspectives, and tastes in media. Except I don't have that genuine desire to become a more interesting person beyond "This will enable me to meet people and have them want to be around me", which is fake as fuck. I want to *want* to be interested in pursuing things for their own sake, if that makes any sense.
I never told you to get ripped. I just suggested growing a beard because it looks nice, even on chubby, soft guys that don't go to the gym. I was only offering advice and trying to cheer you up, but you're so self-defeating it seems like it did the opposite. So you can't grow long hair and style it to hell and back, there are loads of other ways to express yourself. There's nothing wrong with being shy and sensitive either.
>The kinds of girls I go for: the shy, accepting, nerdy, humble ones- they only go for the lean, youthful looking guys. I know girls like that and they've ended up with all different types of guys. Again, you're putting up obstacles in your head that don't exist.
You should stop self-sabotaging. It's fine to be insecure, everyone is but you sound like it's really affected you and is holding you back.
>look older than I am even when 12-19 You should have been slamming college girls in high school, but you blew it.
Your post reeks of defeatism, I bet they can smell it too. You need to be high energy or nobody is gonna bother.
You're completely right. I -am- self sabotaging and I'm trying my very best to alter my mindset and where my values and self worth lie. I just haven't yet built upon any foundations yet where I can assess myself holistically, let out a nice breath of relief and say to myself "Yep, I'm capable of being loved, and giving that love back in a reciprocal way". The things I fixate on are out of my control beyond throwing down thousands of dollars on plastic surgery, so I'm trying to shift my perspective and believe that I'm responsible for every problem and shortcoming I have, and that I can attain exactly what I want if I put the required time, effort, and patience into it. It's just incredibly difficult to break free of your old, toxic ways of thinking when you've spent all of your major developmental periods adhering to them.
A big part of it probably had to do with the few girls I've managed to connect with online ending up being completely shallow; saying things like "Ugh no bald guys allowed ever in this server" or "Sorry user i mostly go for femboys". Granted this was around 17-21 and most girls seem to grow out of being into one type of guy and start becoming attracted to a variety of different features. It's just that the features I have do not seem to appeal to any niche so far, so I'm just hoping I can subvert that belief before I turn 30.
Tried being high energy and came off as annoying. Had people flat out tell me "I don't like you, I don't want to be your friend, please go away". Then I tried dialing it back a bit. People were mostly polite and friendly, but never casual in the way they usually are when they actively want to socialize with someone.
Got hired at a new place with this other guy one time. He was younger and definitely more objectively attractive, but we got along really well and I had no feelings of insecurity for a while. Later on everyone else there befriends him and start inviting him out to restaurants and bars after work. This is despite the fact that we were all scheduled during the same shifts for the most part and it wasn't like I wasn't included in any group conversations about non-work related stuff. Then I noticed that everyone was way "happier" with this guy, joking more, giving out compliments. One girl was all "You changed your hair!!! :D". Later on she's working alongside only me and her tone became completely rude and snobbish throughout the night, barking orders at me in a snide tone. I just shrugged it off because I was used to it by that point but I never got treated like this in groups where I felt pretty equal with everyone. It's not like I resent the guy everyone liked way more either-he was a legitimately great dude and didn't have a bad bone in his body.
You shouldn't give up at least until you've exhausted every option available to you. If you're balding you can either shave it completely or get implants. I've lost a lot of weight too so I'm assuming you have loose skin like me. I'm planning on saving up money to get surgery to remove it. There'd be some mild scarring, but I'm sure it'll look better than it does now. If your nose is that bad then again, you could always save up money to fix it. For the jawline you could always grow out a little facial hair and shave part of it to imitate one. If you look around you'd notice that a lot of men do that. Also, come on man, get off the drugs. I used to smoke weed and drink and I've felt a lot better since quitting. I'm assuming quitting would help you a lot more than it did me.
The amphetamines are legally prescribed for my ADD. I don't have loose skin either. I was 205 at my heaviest now I'm down to 165 in 7 months but it's mostly fat with almost no muscle at all.
I'm thinking about doing the fin/minox/nizoral + dermarolling/supplements route before considering a transplant. I've done some research and I've seen guys who were way further gone than I am regrow a good chunk of hair without going the surgical route. The issue is that it's a complete crapshoot as to whether or not it'll work that effectively as well as the side effects incurred (plus you have to keep up the routine pretty much forever if you want to keep what you've regrown, otherwise it'll fall right out again)