I love you Alice! Please post soon, I need to see and talk with you so bad!

Knowing this board "she" is actually a bloke.
Fucking pooftah hiding in every corner of this, nowhere is safe.

Pretty sure Alice is a girl

based on an analysis of her pics, i have to say it definitely seems female to me, at least the model we are led to believe is alice is female.

Don't get ya hopes up cobba, they do everything they can to fool ya.
Also what the fuck was I trying to type, missed half the words I meant to write. I think I must be crook in the head

Yes, quite s-soon in fact

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It didn't look like she had a dick in the pictures she posted on the 4th of july

Alright, I wont call old mate Alice a bloke, for now. Also is this that one that has been making threads of themselves cooking for ages, or a new one? I'm so far out of the loop, got no idea what's happening on this board anymore

Camera angles and tricks of the light lad

this is why i am fascinated by you: programmer, psychologist, cook, model, and recurring poster on /b/.
What don't you do?

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telling truths

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owo, so alice always lies?

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>a fucking cartoon
Your waifu isn't real, user. Get a job.

I'm t-the Cooking Alice, I d-don't know of anyone else who consistently posts as Alice across 3-5 boards

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Dear, w-while I appreciate the vote of confidence in m-my abilities, I'm really quite amateurish at all this

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nice digits, and that's a gr8 pic
whoever drew it should give themselves a pat on the back and if i could i would buy them a beer.

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*5850888
>neuropspfpffff
pfffff

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Excuse m-me, does your ID say "Twink"?

>Alice was behind Alice all along
OH WHAT THE FU-

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>pie id

I love you, Alice. Will you add me on discord?
Onii-Sama#8850

*claps* Oh m-my, mine is quite cute isn't it?

Dun dun dunnnnn~

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Move that flat ass and make me a pie

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And h-here /b/ says it's m-much too muffiny. I don't know w-who to believe!

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Alright cobba, you seem decent enough. Cooking threads at least spice this board up a bit, so you're alright in my book, but to be fair anythings better than seeing a catalog full of gay erp threads. I'm only afraid you'll gain a ton of bloody orbiters, just makes me depressed seeing sad cunts trying to woo a random bird on a Mongolian basket weaving forum
>As can be seen, well, by me failing to even keep my face out of view.
Onya lad, got a laugh out of me with that pic

more like a deflated muffin

I also d-do Therapy Tea threads

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*shrugs* S-some people think I'm taller than my fridge, some t-think my ass is deflated. N-no accounting for taste

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>Alice was behind Alice being behind Alice
ᴺᵃnᶦ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

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pfffahahaha, I'm crying laughing

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holy fuck i didn't even think about that

Aliceception!

R-right?

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you're a joker and a half aren't ya cobba
>S-some people think I'm taller than my fridge
What are ya, like 5'6? You look short, but then I compared to the stuff around you and ya don't. It's messing with my head. I'm betting that's just a small fridge

>Aliceception!

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It's a l-little smaller than average and t-the camera angle throws off your perspective a bit. You wouldn't b-believe what people think about my body, honestly.

And you've g-gotta have a sense of humor, right?

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You are so flat, you sell your body in real state webpages.

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W-what's real state? Do you mean real estate? B-because I'm more about commoditization than fixed income d-dear.

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>It's a l-little smaller than average and t-the camera angle throws off your perspective a bit.
Well when I first saw you I thought you looked about 5'2", but nah yeah that camera angle did throw me off kilter a bit.
>You wouldn't b-believe what people think about my body, honestly.
Yeah fellas talk a lot of trash to each other here, nine times outta ten it's just banter, best not to take it to heart, most just do it for (you)s
>And you've g-gotta have a sense of humor, right?

L-literally someone moved to NYC to hunt me down. I w-wish I could just dismiss it but....I've attracted the craziest of the craziests hehe...

Anyway, nice t-talking to you

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Fuck looks like i go competition

Just quit larping mate, it's past your bedtime

>L-literally someone moved to NYC to hunt me down. I w-wish I could just dismiss it but....I've attracted the craziest of the craziests hehe...
That's fully fucked, hope ya don't have to go through that again. I've been stalked before, not fun, except mine wasn't trying to attack me, just an extreme orbiter, so not even close to what you went through. To this day I don't ever post pics of myself. Anyway, wish ya the best going forward lad, hopefully I spot one of ya cooking threads sometime

T-they are Fridays at 8PM EST

i was honestly considering this as well. but i realized that with my current finances it would be a poor decision in the long run. Of course if i could also manipulate a career upgrade into the mix that would be cool but most likely i wouldn't be able to without first completing some more education.
But i wouldn't hunt you down maliciously, just to take a pic of ur front door and say hi~ wouldn't even post it on the chan just via email if i succeeded...
would give me peace of mind because then i would know if someone ever did actually find you and post evidence if they were correct or not, so i would know if i needed to sleep outside your door with a 57 or not.
but that's just my mind talking, in practice my body is much too lazy to do any of that.

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You know what? Good night.

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Sleep t-tight

i know, that's why i usually keep such thoughts to myself...
or write them down in a journal...
and why i have several restrictions set on myself to keep such thoughts from ever manifesting in reality

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You seem like a pretty chill person, and the threads you make are harmless so I don't really care too much, but for the love of god why do you pretend to have a stutter when you post? Even if you actually have a real stutter, there is no reason for you to be typing out "T-thanks

Lol ill kill both of you
Also serious question why do you keep posting pics if yourself if you n
Know peoe are doxing you and hunting you and a quarter of this site wants you dead

It's a homage t-to the original Alice

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Damn thats pretty based but why do you need to post urself also im still gonna kill you lmao

leet confirmed, this autismo's a haxor

I d-don't "need" to; for five years I p-posted with just Alice pictures. But Anons couldn't cook s-so I made the cooking show, and that k-kinda has to be cosplay.

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Lol what evs just gives me more info to track you

actually im pretty sure her entire setup is specifically made in a cleanroom with the intention of introducing materials which will give the wrong information if analyzed, so nothing can be learned from her posts that would actually be related to her real location...
at least thats what i would do

it r-really doesn't.

I d-don't like persona.

I've g-got a much improved strategy.

probably you do, after all you do seem a lot more intelligent than me

Fuck you bitch i hate you i have an ip tracker for Jow Forums lmao

Will you go on a date with me, Alice?