Tech related injuries

how was the thinkpad?

I tried to penetrate a thinkpad with my penis and got stuck, went to the hospital. almost lost my cock due to lack of blood flow

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at least you didn't die

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Nice thinkpad

I've taken quite a lot of electrical shocks in my life and still not quite as retarded as op.

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I was drunk and carrying an eMac and accidentally dropped in on my foot.
eMac was fine, foot not.

People who can relate will know.

Stepped in a pothole and busted my right ankle not too long ago.

Fell over and busted said ankle a few yeas ago and it gets busted pretty easily now. Should probably go see an orthopedic (doctor specialized in the musculoskeletal system), but my dad (who is a doctor, but a general practitioner who originally specialized in psychiatry, but got fed up with it and re-specialized) keeps telling me not to bother.

>stock liquid cooler is going bad
>decide to replace the coolant to see if it helps
>never done it before
>take off the metal lid, empty coolant, put in new coolant, no idea wtf i'm doing
>think all the air is out, put it back together
>few hours later of gaming see cpu is 110c
>wtf
>dismantle everything, turns out air was still in the tubes, making the whole thing useless
>as i'm taking off the screws of the metal lid, it's fucking bent like a submarine door under pressure
>all the pressure from the superheated air bubbles made it explode like a bomb in my face as soon as i took off a few screws
>spray of coolant straight into my eyes
>entire thing is fucked, switch to nocturna fans for next build

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>dog bite on lip

When I was putting a SSD in my laptop like 8 years ago I cut my thump on the drive bracket as I was pulling it out, fucking blood squirted everywhere for some reason, it was all over the walls and floor, it looked like a murder scene.

>That isn't how you use quotes, OP
Just a heads up
>dude

Cut my hands on the read/write head of an HDD while taking it apart to get the magnets out.
Had hot solder ball hit my eye when a thick wire I was trying to get out of a board snapped loose and flung the melted solder around it in my face.
Stabbed myself with a needle sowing a bow tie on a pair of programming socks.

kys

Nothing serious, just a few burns from soldering iron.

>ona holes are technology

I fucked an offbrand chinkshit without washing it now my dick is red hot franks. Blisters and hurts to pee :(

Few scratches on the lid and battery just fell out, had to put it back in and it worked.

so you did not even wait for the machine to cool down before dealing with it?

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>/jp/ taught me how to repair my onahole by melting the damaged parts
>ended up with hot liquefied silicone on my hands

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Rip

your vision must be pretty chill afterwards from the coolant

I was taking the keys out of my keyboard and as i tried to flip the backspace key it sliced through my thumb. Not that bad just unexpected.

Hi new friend, enjoying the place? It might get dark at times but soon you'll be comfy :3

edc2.healthtap.com/ht-staging/user_answer/avatars/833762/large/open-uri20130202-21501-10kwfwi.jpeg?1386572518

healthtap.com/topics/heal-split-lip step 8

jewgle image search split lip

My HD 6950 and the inside of my z600 are covered in blood from the razor shart heatsink on the 6950

>ripped onahole

You`re a big guy,

Plenty of blisters and cuts from data center work
Fuck cage nuts

What year, I service them all the time at work (USFF-SFF-DT-MT 2008-2015 aka series 3+4) and I have never been remotely hurt by them.

Broke my toe dropping an old crt monitor on my foot if that counts

>Dropped my phone on my face yesterday.
drynk more soylent it will make you stronger :^)

i have some burns on my arm from an oven, if that counts as tech. I also burned my hand by trying to use a lighter upside down... aside from that I have no tech related injuries.

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True dat, thanks. But it's also true that it was very thin at the top (almost condom-like thin) and it broke after a few months of not very intensive use. Imo, it was intentionally designed like this (planned-obsolescence). Gooks can be jews too, I guess.

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there are people on this forum that have Tile fetish, ogre living in polish family basement and a guy that literally held all his mobo,cooler and GPU with a fucking DICE
what makes you think it's not possible

I tried Linux and it gave me cancer.

I layed down my forearm on a soldering iron and got a soldering iron-shaped scar for the rest of my life.

It took about a week to heal. That's when I found out that burn scars don't grow a scab and are really prone to infections.

my brainchip got hacked by russia

Oh hi Mark

lmao i thought you were holding an illegal british butterknife but it's just your zipper

tech related injuries? None, really. I lightly cut my hands up all over the place while shielding my bass guitar with copper tape, and almost electrocuted myself pulling out a plug from a bad cold device socket (live wire came out with it, fuse went before i could try to pull it off like a retard)

Not to forget people that either bottled they cum for years with yearly updates on the bottles to the point they sent samples to other anons and people that accidentally fermented a pastel coloured equine figurine in semen behind a radiator. Possible indeed, but not less of an achievement because of it

>$15,000 NAS enclosure is shipped to work
>rapid rails are not installed ahead of time
>try to push them hard enough so the lock into place because hammering them in would be dumb
>hand slips and shear off a good 3 inches of skin on my thumb
>gently tap the rails in with a hammer

Fuck you Nimble your rail design is shit.

Went to an Apple store once and by the time I left my butthole was sore and I'd contracted giardia.

>
>kys
We lad. Welcome to this new world to you

I once took apart a Mac Pro to get the Core 2 Quads. I still have scars on my hands from those fuckhuge heatsinks and stupid design decisions.

UU
UU

op never said he was the person on the pic

The absolute state of soyboys in this day and age

I never said he said he is

i never said you said he is

but you said he never said he is

right
but i didn't say YOU said he said he was

but I didn't say HE said he was

as expected of a 15yo acronym spouting girl

One of my first tech injuries was me trying to fix my ps1 it being opened up and turned on and i laid my arm on the power supply and it lit my ass up.

you're absolutely 100% right
but i NEVER say you said he said he was

but didn't you say HE never said you said he was

Serves you right for making fucking selfies in your bed.

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hey man, listen, i don't want any problem with you
i guess are right and wrong with this last post, he never said i said he was, but no, i never said that before, i'm saying it now: i never said he never said he said he was
but you NEED to understand this, i never said he said you said he said he is the guy in op's picture

he never said that tho

OP
Is your phone a desktop?

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did you?

did he?

actually i just deeply stabbed my thumb with a metal pick today and it still hurts like a mother fucker [pic related]

i was installing a new quieter power supply in my main i7 server and found two ground wires had been ripped out the back of a molex crimp

stabbed my self when reshaping the crimp contacts

also cut the top of my index finger off while stupidly trying open some iems with a raw stanly knife blade earlier in the year

pro tip: Hydroden peroxide 6% will painlessly stop the bleeding and disinfect any serious cuts, it just bubbles away

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Those cases are no joke. That shit is dangerous.

But their rails are pretty nice, unlike the supermicro shit that I've had fail and almost drop a 4u on a tech. They were being stupid, but it still should have held, and not required two other techs to jump in and keep it from dropping a few feet. Would have broken the tech's leg, and worse, would have ruined 24 expensive drives

did i?

did we?

I need to more about this dice computer

Here is a (you) you deserve it. Good job *pats back*

what is ground wire

Stabbed myself with an oscilloscope probe :(

Being a datacenter tech is an exercise in bloodletting.
>sharp server parts
>under floor bullshit in all its colors
>FUCKING RACK NUTS

...

I was fucking myself with a vibrator when suddenly my mom came to the house early.
I was in my room with the door open, and I got scared. My ass closed itself and the vibrator got stuck in there.
I had to get out from the back door of the house, and since I didn't have the car keys on me (they were in a little bowl besides the front door, but I didn't want my mom to see me walking funny), I had to call an Uber to get me to the hospital.
The hospital people was very polite. Turns out they see shit like that all the time. The nurse even gave me tips for anal sex and shit, although I'm straight.

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>I hurt my hands trying to open a soylent
I've unironically done this. They used to have a problem where an occasional bottle would get too jostled in transit and the cap's seal would break and mold would grow, so they made the seal extra fucking tight in the latest revision of the bottle. It's not at all hard to hurt your hand trying to open one, frail little soyboy or not.

>that's a cool scar user, where did you get it?
>I dropped my phone on my face
>ok bye

>although I'm straight.
who are you fooling?

>wow user what happened to your lip? that looks like it hurt!
>haha, well you should see the other guy
>oh user you're so manly! take me now!

if he is not attracted to men he is not gay

that's the literal definition of gay, being attracted to to people of your same gender

electrocuted myself with a camera capacitor, from the reflex I hit my desk's corner with the back of my hand and ruptured a vein, my entire hand was purple for a few days

I'm not gay tho. I just like prostate orgasms, but I would never let a dude shove his wiener in my bum.
My exgf and I used to play a lot with toys. Shit was so cash.

Damage to L4 spine from sitting in an office chair 10 hours a day from the time I was a lad

>L4 spine
You mean your L4 vertebra? You don't have different spines

to (the) L4 (part of my) spine
Happy?

Prostate orgasms feel amazing. Nothing gay about them.

(You)

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Putting a Noctua NH-D15 into a microATX case. The machine-spirit has gotten a sufficient blood sacrifice.

Yes

every time i work on a computer it seems to require at least a very minor blood sacrifice. i just get nervous and shakey every time

Didnt happen to me but some newbie had his hands on a rack cabinet and his fingers were on the rails as someone slid in a 4u rack. cut his pinky clean off and half cut off the next finger

worth it though