Google I/O 2018 morning session summary:
>"Wavenet" natural voice, can convincingly talk like a human over the phone >Google Photos: Colorize, "pop" (make a photo black+white except for the subject), scan a photo and create PDF >Continued Conversation: Google Assistant processes multiple commands in one sentence better >"Pretty Please" requires kids to say please when talking to Google Assistant >Curated news app based on news you're interested in >Android P: Usability improvements (improved volume rocker), "wind down" mode (silent+black and white at a certain time at night) >Improvements to Google Maps, like using AI to recommend places for you, and augmented reality street navigation >Google Lens now integrated into the camera app, additional features >Waymo: Self-driving car service like Uber launching in Phoenix, AZ, improved self-driving AI perception and prediction of pedestrians and cars, better driving in inclement weather
TL;DR: Machine learning
The developer keynote is taking place right now: youtube.com /watch?v=GAkkKjds00o
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May 8, 2018 - 20:04
Yeah I mean it's still gonna crash on SSE2, but who cares
May 8, 2018 - 20:06
The problem I have with android shit is that it works against stuff like React Native.
Even flutter seems like it wont work with this shit.
OK Very fucking nice fast emulator. Are they running docker / LXC to run these emulators?
Fucks the shit out of any iOS emulator that has to decrypt a ton of shit just to deploy an app to.
May 8, 2018 - 20:06
This. Why no rolling sticky tho? We had those a couple years ago
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May 8, 2018 - 20:07
Did I just hear "Smart homo"?
May 8, 2018 - 20:07
Yeah, as opposed to normal homo
May 8, 2018 - 20:08
not enough people posting to warrant one I'd assume
May 8, 2018 - 20:08
Okay, quick rundown please. Particulary interested in new TTS and Android P
May 8, 2018 - 20:09
this guy is speaking at like 0.9x speed
May 8, 2018 - 20:09
They need to make an AI that accelerates live streams.
May 8, 2018 - 20:10
Hes the smooth kind of shill that normally works for Apple
May 8, 2018 - 20:10
Fuck I hate that guys voice.
May 8, 2018 - 20:11
Just put the video at 1.25X speed.
May 8, 2018 - 20:11
Nah. This is definitely the more tasteless Google kind.
May 8, 2018 - 20:11
Can Google Assistant control my dildo too?
May 8, 2018 - 20:11
Fuck no. Rolling stickies kill my potato PC and force me to lurk them in Clover.
May 8, 2018 - 20:12
The assistant will make phone calls for you. More AI everywhere. New navigation between apps/home button/etc.
Oh and only a handful of phones are eligible for the beta.
May 8, 2018 - 20:12
He is talking to mentally retarded people (mobile developers) so it's totally justified.
May 8, 2018 - 20:12
I am from the UK and I really hope google assistant can be used to deliver bants.
May 8, 2018 - 20:13
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May 8, 2018 - 20:14
I bet this faggot plays Fortnite and loves GoT.
May 8, 2018 - 20:14
>The assistant will make phone calls for you. If that takes off it will be a fucking goldmine for inteligence agencies.
May 8, 2018 - 20:14
are they gonna unveil pixel3??
May 8, 2018 - 20:14
Fuck me it did!
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May 8, 2018 - 20:14
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May 8, 2018 - 20:15
I CANT STOP STARING AT IT
May 8, 2018 - 20:15
Yeah it eventually buffers for a second, and continues at 1.25x
May 8, 2018 - 20:15
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnngggg
May 8, 2018 - 20:15
Wtf I love Google now
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May 8, 2018 - 20:15
MY KATAWA WAIFU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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May 8, 2018 - 20:15
So?
Atleast he's not some bitter Jow Forumstard
May 8, 2018 - 20:16
As innovative and impressive as google is, i can't help but be worried by how fucking evil their business practices are... I already have enough AI in my life, no more pls.
May 8, 2018 - 20:16
google making katawa shoujo real
May 8, 2018 - 20:16
wow, we're getting disabled people now. an incel coming in after her?
May 8, 2018 - 20:16
WTF??? How the fuck does that work? time travel??
May 8, 2018 - 20:16
>IRL Katawa Shoujo I'd implement her PWA
May 8, 2018 - 20:16
I love how she moves both her arms when she talks.
She's probably even making hand motions in her head!
May 8, 2018 - 20:17
see Jokes aside, she's cute.
May 8, 2018 - 20:17
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May 8, 2018 - 20:17
>tfw her stub distracted her and now don't know what PWA is
May 8, 2018 - 20:18
When are we finally going to have an Assistant that's easy to talk to? One that can actually hold some sort of conversation or talk to you informally
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May 8, 2018 - 20:18
You wanna know how I know she can’t code?
May 8, 2018 - 20:18
is that a fucking nail?
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May 8, 2018 - 20:18
if ai is so smart why havent they invented an ai arm yet huh
May 8, 2018 - 20:18
I'm stumped. How?
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May 8, 2018 - 20:19
PWAs have huge potential I think The Twitter PWA is better and faster than the full app lol
May 8, 2018 - 20:19
It's a web app that works offline, and you can just install it as if it were a real app.
But when you launch it it starts a fucking browser in fullscreen.
May 8, 2018 - 20:19
that's called having friends you fucking loser
May 8, 2018 - 20:19
Nah, just the arm bone casually being outside the arm.
May 8, 2018 - 20:19
So, electron?
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May 8, 2018 - 20:19
i hope this lighthouse thing deducts points for having one of those nu-websites with one page and you scroll down
May 8, 2018 - 20:20
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May 8, 2018 - 20:20
>PROGRESSIVE Web App
You are now imagining her use her smart watch
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May 8, 2018 - 20:20
Software development is dead
May 8, 2018 - 20:21
Mind blown
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May 8, 2018 - 20:21
>You are now imagining fuck you, I was having a drink!
May 8, 2018 - 20:21
LINUX IS DEAD, CHROME OS HAS LINUX
May 8, 2018 - 20:21
LINUX BTFO LITERALLY NO REASON TO USE LINUX ANYMORE
May 8, 2018 - 20:22
Except that ChromeOS *is* Linux.
May 8, 2018 - 20:22
year of the chrome desktop
May 8, 2018 - 20:22
Nah, this is great for linux!
May 8, 2018 - 20:22
Fuck no. I hate the actual AMP shit.
May 8, 2018 - 20:22
LINUX on CHROMIUMOS!!!!!
Are GNU tools installed by default?
May 8, 2018 - 20:22
It's like electron, except without shipping a separate web browser for each app, and apps are downloaded automatically when you visit the website.
If you don't mind web apps, it's basically a better web app that you can also use offline.
May 8, 2018 - 20:23
I wonder if she uses that stump to masturbate to her google overlords...
May 8, 2018 - 20:23
>wanting Google access for using Linux
May 8, 2018 - 20:23
Wait what the fuck How DOES she use that thing?
May 8, 2018 - 20:23
She refused to enable telemetry
May 8, 2018 - 20:23
>Amphitheater >Amputee
JUST
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May 8, 2018 - 20:23
> the Amerimutt has arrived
May 8, 2018 - 20:23
thanks based google
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May 8, 2018 - 20:24
>and apps are downloaded automatically when you visit the website. That's even worse.
May 8, 2018 - 20:24
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May 8, 2018 - 20:25
I'm sure she can do just fine with emacs and a footpedal.
May 8, 2018 - 20:25
i dont think there was a single one of those dozen sentences i just heard that did not contain a buzzword
May 8, 2018 - 20:26