Certificates

good luck finding a job with no social skills, mate. i was thinking that that i would be left alone peacefully programming away when i applied for an internship but you had to deal with people all the time (muh agile teamwork brah). i can withstand that but they wanted to hang out after work and that's hell.

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No you need to hunt them down. You'll need a vce player to do the test exams. If I remember correctly these are some vce sites:
Examcollection
Vceplus
Exams4all

I had a job for a while. Was actually pretty comfy, but they moved the factory to Poland so I (and basically everyone else) was laid off. I'm not afraid that I'll fail at my job because of poor social skills. Colleagues are paid to deal with me, that's completely different from classmates who all pay to be there and would rather not work with the weird kid.

Those are all paid? I found a collection on pirate site, so I'm good.

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No they have free files, usually indicated by a creation date. The premium ones aren't worth it.

Are these tests intended to cram the correct answers? I found one that says "Still valid , Hurry up guys study and pass this one." on the first page. Not exactly what I was looking for, but now I know why MS dislikes "exam dumps". Oh well, this one is probably expired anyway, so it'll work as a practice exam.

Definitely don't use them as an exact copy of an exam. I used them as practice exams. If there was an exact question in it it was nice, but it's to test your knowledge.

Why is the microsoft certification pages almost insufferable to navigate?

Just get the dump like everyone else.

Microsoft exams are rotten due to the pajeets