Stupid shit you have to deal with as an IT guy

>Yeah user I understand that password are important but it's hard to remember them and it takes time to type them... Also everybody should know everybody's password it would be easier you know
- actual CEO of an actual company

Why even live ?

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>We want any employee to be able to connect on their office computer from enywhere at anytime so make sure there is no session password and it stays on forever and Teamviewer is installed and unattended access is on - just use the free version though

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I don't have the energy to post my woes

Tell him that if someone deletes all his data there's no way he'll know who did it unless they have secure authentication and auditing in place

Or, just take a backup, delete everything then play the hero by letting them fester in their shit for 12 hours before restoring everything, playing like it was a cunt of a task and that they are lucky that google ultron was on the network to save the day, and teach a lesson or 9.

I think OP just need to agree to the CEO, people that use suits in big corps are just dumb.

>Come on we are not THAT big deal of a company, nobody would want to take our data or delete it !
- actual CEO of an actual company that actually develops an anticipated game for a flagship console

I would, if there was any backup...

> no no no don't do that on an xml file: I won't be able to open it in google drive then. I don't give a shit about functionality or security, I just don't want to go through the exhausting and painful installation of any office suite at all.
Fucking end me please

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See the bit where I said "take a backup"..? Sounds like you're more of a problem than the CEO if you don't even have a backup regime in place though, you deserve everything you get.

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>Wait... How much does a backup machine costs again ? Anyway this shit will take our precious computer and network resources to do its thing so we can't afford that. Same goes for antivirus, don't even bother. *proceeds to download and instal actual piratebay shit on every single machine*
Put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger don't even hesitate

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> We have 11 people using this program. We bought 3 floating licenses. You'll just have to come at the guy's desk and change the license's owner when they need it, ok user?
Why am I still here, just to suffer

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no problem sir, just sign this form documenting your responsibility for this decision.

>we need a software developer, lets hire this guy who came in for a tech support role but found out about the role and started saying how much he wants to progress into that. Wait we have to let him have time to do stuff? nah lets just throw a low code system at him and get everything done yesterday while sacrificing all functionality and security.
Cannot wait to hand in my resignation.

Backup also needs money. Raw data need more storage than you think.

Why the fuck are you whinging here like it's our problem? Go find a new job you whiny cunt.

maybe because you give them stupid pswd like kdl2074d&
, give them something like ILikeDicksWithSomePeanutButter, its way more secure and convenient

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Fool I am, I thought these human beings would be able to remember a key made of 12 characters they invented themselves and are using around 4 times a day during several months.
How gullible I am.

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Step 1 - Install KeyPass, optionally set it to open when the computer is turned on
Step 2 - Make a KeyPass archive that uses their Windows credentials as the password

Now just tell them they can put the passwords in that file instead of on a Post-It. It will be easier for them, since they won't have to deal with a hundred Post-Its, and it's more secure.

>Hey user take care of this license, you have to go on their website with these credentials
"Ok great but since I'm logging from a new computer they want to confirm my identity, they've sent a code by mail to the address you used to create the count, which is yours Miss HR..."
*one eternity later*
>Here it is user
"No the codes have a lifetime of 5 minutes so you need to send it to me faster. Here I asked for a new one"
*one eternity later*
>Here it is user
"No the codes have a lifetime of 5 minutes so you need to send it to me faster. Here I asked for a new one"
*one eternity later*
>Here it is user
"No the -

It was last week and to this day I still did not manage to connect to the account. Meanwhile, user is still harassing me for his license.

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> Install KeyPass
"No user I don't trust these Russians like where do they even store our passwords, what are they doing with them ?" *still the same guy who uses piratebay shit for everything*
This happened two days ago.

> that uses their Windows credentials
Dude they don't even want Windows session passwords, why even bother with keypass at this point ?

Well, I guess the question then is how much damage it would cause if that account was compromised. If all he keeps on his computer is non-confidential work files and pirated music, maybe he's right not to worry. You could practice your IA skills and do an impact assessment.

did you even bother to read the thread title?

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Well his computer is connected to our file servers which does not have the least security on it (everyone can access everything)
And also has access to the Google Drive where these monkeys store sensitive stuff...
Basically you can come in, sit at any desk, and delete 4 years worth of a full company's work in less than 30 seconds. But "who would do that amirite???"

Jesus fucking Christ either do what your boss tells you or get a new job. Your boss is an obvious retard, but it's his problem if all his shit gets fucked up.
>oh well, he'll just respond how it's my fault I didn't secure their files even though he told me not to!!!
So then you get fired and maybe work for someone who can put your skills to actual use. Of maybe you start picking up dog shit for a living. That'd be just as useful.

>We are going to move in a new building in two months, and you'll love it because there is a server room with air conditioner and all !
Ah great so we will ditch out these "servers" made of consumer-grade PC we have everywhere and build actual servers in racks, blades and
>No no user servers machines are expensive for no reason we will just place our towers in the server room and everything will be fine
mfw

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The only obvious thing here is that they have never fired someone. Enjoy your long term position.

Will you stop bumping this shit you faggot? This is not your blog.

We used to have picrelated, framed, with the caption. "Days since the French have sent us their prodution passwords in plaintext" and a white space you could fill in with a whiteboard marker.

I need to dig that thing out of storage.

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Aww, babbie didn't get a new toy.

Are you mute or are you so intimidated by this person you literally can't speak? Did that even happen anyway?

Do you mean that having prod servers running on 5 years old Cooler Master towers with I5s and GTX780 Ti without any form of hardware or software security is a viable solution in the long run ?

Chyeah! Dismissed.

>I have to personally turn off and back on my boss's mother's printer since she works in the company and whenever it stops printing she doesn't know which button is for turning it off and is not capable of clicking on a shortcut I made for her on desktop that literally does it for her

This happened last week.
I'm not mute nor intimidated. I'm just the new guy in the company and this lady is HR, passive-aggressive "my job is more important than yours and I can get you fired at any moment sweety" kind of woman, and I need this job more than anything and by contract I can't leave for the next two years.

"Of course I will do that as soon as I have time :)"
and then do your actual job until it's time to leave; Repeat everyday.

>user, where in the control panel can I reduce the volume of my mouse clicking?
Glad I don't do this job anymore

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No, I don't mean that.

Do you know what a Post-It is?

Ask him about getting a pentest

The CEO not wanting to remember his password is the reason we spend six figures a month on SSO

Sweetie, you are scared of that bitch like fire, but if you really need that job then it is best you do everything to get that stupid task done ASAP.

I can do all pentest I want they will still say nobody would do that. And I could show him the statistic and tell him about revengeful employees or concurrent companies and whatever they will still deny it.
Because refusing to see a problem is easier and cheaper than trying to solve it.

Had this today;
>hey can I print color from my printer
>no, it's a mono printer, it only prints black and white
>ok but can I print color with it?
>no, you need to use a color printer
>can you just put a color toner in mine?

AAAAAAAAA

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>be on internship
>doing websites, animations, design, etc.
>"yo come pick up these boxes and carry them somewhere else"
>yesha masha

Then do your backups and chill.

lol normies are so dum. why can't they do their own computer shit? oh yeah because that means I'd be out of a job lol.

Users.

To solve this problem you have to ask yourself: "If this internship really that important?"

It's okay not to know stuff.
What I can't stand is people acting like they now better than you, preventing your from doing your job; and when they have hierarchy on their side you are fucked.

I was happy there, it was several years ago, it was half time half wage paid intership, I'm a full time NEET now, starting to study a web dev "trade" of 2 years in 5 days

The good thing about your job is that you don't report to any other employee except for your supervisor. And at times when they need you because they can't do their job without you doing yours you can finally have your say.

My supervisor doesn't know shit about IT stuff.
He is just one of the other people with power in the company, not giving a shit about security or legality they just want to do their job (developer) without any care in the world.

Sounds like an inside-man. Wonder how deep the rabbit hole goes

>T.Diversity hire
Run away lol

Dude just sit back and cruise. Work on your own skills in the meantime.

Worst thing that happens is that you end up getting let go after a massive breach.

>Sure thing boss, just one thing. I will need to have you sign a release form that says you acknowledged all warnings issued to you by a competent professional (me) and any problems that arise from this are entirely your responsibility.
That usually shuts them up pretty quick, and even if it doesn't it's not your fault

>female boomer complains that work laptop she took home cannot connect to the internet
>walk her through checking if WiFi was turned on etc.
>no user, I know all that! I need the password! The internet password!
>expected me to know her home WiFi password
>somehow my responsibility since I gave her the laptop
>she complains to my boss because I wasn't helpful
Glad I left that shitty place

I think you should let him do it.

Sorry, we aren't taking about your dreams.

Getting things in writing is standard practice kiddo. Try getting a job one day.

>Have desktops setup with username and password labeled on the monitor bezel for login
>Occasionally have to reset because they get it wrong and locks out