I know this isn't 100% tech but I rather post this here because this board is my life.
> Be me.
> Be a 20 yo loner in computer science
> Have asperger syndrome
> No friends
> Depressed to suicide
> Have a lab in about an hour thats worth more point
> Don't give a shit. I'll manage
> Not going to school almost ever
> Planning to quit school probably
How does a techy get out of my hell hole?
Other urls found in this thread:
youtu.be
youtu.be
twitter.com
I hope you don't feel entitled to a job once you leave college.
Who would want to hire you with your shit work ethic?
Lol I don't, dw.
Right now I'm just trying to kill the depression then maybe after I'll focus on my "ethics" whatever that might mean for me.
asperger syndrome to what degree?
>asperger syndrome to what degree?
Light enough to realize my situation but heavy enough to lose the ability to do anything about it.
you sound fucking intolerable. wearing your autistic diagnosis like it just perfectly excuses all of your inadequacies (in other words, you might be autistic, but you're also lazy)
are you actually depressed? are you going to a counselor? why are you suicidal? what's wrong? are there _actual_ things wrong?
maybe you should drop out of school and go work a min wage job for a few months to realize how good you had it
Well it may help to realize your situation is made up of many smaller things put together. Try to work on one thing at a time. Your schooling doesn't necessarily have to be tied up with being depressed or feeling anti-social.
Many problems may add up to one feeling but they are in reality separate problems
>you sound fucking intolerable. wearing your autistic diagnosis like it just perfectly excuses all of your inadequacies (in other words, you might be autistic, but you're also lazy)
this is a very, very bad way to approach trying to help somebody. FYI
>Be me
>2.?e1 yo longer in CS
>Not diagnosed, but perhaps a micron of the tism
>No friends except increasingly distant online relationships that readily dissolve despite even a decade of history
>Morale is excellent youtu.be
>Have no classes because Dankesgibbing
>If I did, I'd go because I'm on thin ice academically.
>Always go now.
>Planning to graduate no matter what to make parents proud.
I don't understand your problem, user. CS is amazing and even Type 3 civs can't confidently detect gravitons in close orbit around neutron stars, but here you are talking about friendships and sadness and other nonsense.
>you might be autistic, but you're also lazy
Believe me laziness is probably what's gonna kill me. I know I'm lazy. Tried doing something about that for years to no avail.
>this board is my life
Found your problem OP. Why aren't you using any of the student services offered to you through the union? Gotta get up and help yourself ain't nobody going to do it for you.
OP has a shit attitude and is simply ungrateful or stupid.
If he's paying for his courses, he's retarded to skip out weeks of school, and if his parents are footing the bill he's simply an ungrateful shit.
It sounds more like depression. Try working out and eating better. Go to sleep at reasonable time and wake up early. Stick schedule. Like doing 3 hours of computer science work every Saturday and Wensday.
Walking to classes is super hard though. :C And it's dumb. Our professors stream the lectures, but there's still for-point activities that require a physical presence, which sucks. They should just be streams. Telepresence. Current year. I don't want to barbarically perambulate the outdoors in the cold and catch the flu in a room of spergs and shit I wanna stay here warm and safe and comfy ya know ¦3?
LEXAPRO
E
X
A
P
R
O
>are you actually depressed?
Yeah I got prescribed Sertraline (an SSRI)
> are you going to a counselor?
Tried to find one, canada might alleviate prices but they don't alleviate time. Been waiting for one for years. Then again I'd need a counselor that has any practice with autism.
> why are you suicidal? what's wrong? are there _actual_ things wrong?
Maybe not. I'm not sure. Here's a list of what I think might be the cause:
> Disagreeableness
> Lazyness
> Sleep issues
> Eating issues
> Loneliness
> Atrial Septum Defect
> Excema in the ears and on the lower body
> Puking at random moments of the day
> Actual panic attacks (That last one is new, I thought they were a meme but theyre definitely not)
In conclusion I still don't really know what exactly my deal is, I lost the energy to find out and now I'm on my self destructive path.
i go to college and work min wage. honestly, if i wasn’t so far into comp sci, i would probably just go full on line cook. that shit is fun.
Ok sweetie
You can stop by stopping considering yourself a 'techie' and start considering yourself a human being
wtf you puke randomly? you need to be hospitalized if that’s the case
sure, it's pretty mean, but I'm with if OP is actually depressed, then he needs professional help to address the chemical imbalance in his brain.
often, kids going to college get overwhelmed with the amount of responsibility/accountability that's suddenly thrown onto them. this will throw them into a depression and make them feel like what OP feels. the answer in these situations is usually "yeah, college fucking sucks and it's fucking hard. you either need to buck up and do the shit you need to do, or just quit."
OP's sentiments are especially present in STEM majors like CS. I recently graduated and like, a literal fourth of the kids I started with also graduated. shit is hard man, and it's not for the weak willed. it's perfectly okay to drop out to get your head right.
Ha trust me if my only passion kept me up everyday I would allow it to do so. Unfortunately, Even that has lost it's grip on me. Not sure why though. Tech is still my passion but I am in this mental shithole right now.
Been trying to develop an advance task manager using mariadb and java.This is the only real proof to myself that I still love tech in general.
>bawwwww Im 20 year old college child whose only responsility is going to school I hate my life!!
Go fuck yourself entitled zoomer.
oops I had written my last post without refreshing
yeah man it sounds like you need to drop out and get your shit straight. you have a plate of yuck on your table - it's really impossible to succeed in school with all of that shit clouding your headspace
go to your school's counseling. it's free and they're extremely accustomed to helping people with similar issues.
Because I don't know any of them.
Frankly the only thing I know they offer is this program to add time to test (because apparently my aspie qualifies more time in exams and such, weird).
I hate repetition. That's why I love coding in all honesty
Human being has no decerning qualities compared to techie.
If I gave up that I'd lose all meaning I have period.
yeah I believe it might be cause by a stomach ulcer which itself might been of created to my unrestfull stress. I might call my doctor when I have my energy if ever.
I used to feel just like you, OP. It's classic depression. But, 9 months ago, I found out that Rust had just implemented incremental compilation in Cargo, meaning that you never have to fuck with makefiles ever again, and I started living again. This IS 2018. The future's looking bright.
Also, the panic attacks are intense at first, but you get used to them and they taper off, IME.
Trust me dood I'm at that crossway. I just don't know wether quitting is better or worse for me.
Man I wish I had some dude that I could just share my ideas with, even if that guy was more disabled than me. Thanks for the kind words of wisdom user.
Ill look into school counseling, might go quicker than a therapist. Thanks m'dude.
As a canadian cuck I most definitely agree.
Get a grip on yourself, computer science wagie.
Start running daily for at least 30 min, if you can't do that work up to it and get running shoes.
Eat healthier, and pretty soon you'll be beating up nerds like you daily.
I dunno why so many autists suffer and suicidal thoughts. I suffer from apathy, mild sociopathy (my emotions are weak and I don't care about anyone), and POSSIBLY depression (how does a depressed person know they are depressed?), but the thought of killing myself truly has never crossed my mind. I dream of immortality, not death. I should feel guilty, I should love my family, I should get a job, but I don't do any of those things. Luckily for society, I don't care about other people, so I won't ever become a murderous psychopath; what would be the point?
You tryna slide into DMs?
I always thought suicide and depression were normie problem which autists transcend by existing on a higher, or perhaps different, psychological plane. That's certainly what it feels like to me, but I don't know if I'm autistic in the clinical sense. I feel that way, and I look at myself from afar that way, in the colloquial sense though.
Girls hit on me, but I know that a relationship would be untenable, and it's certainly a weird prospect. Their advances amounting to nothing, I go home to fap to pony porn and play Dwarf Fortress and EU4.
seek help for your depression so you stop fucking things up
Btw Stellaris 2.2 lands December SIXFH!!!
At least you aren't an ASCII faggot. Texture pack master race. Honestly speaking though, I have too much OCD to play DF effectively. I spend more time obsessing over embark profiles and attempting to plan the most efficient fort layout than I do actually playing the game.
>tfw severely crippled legs and back
I never appreciated what I had as a kid.
complaining about life at 20 is kinda dumb you still have best years ahead of you.
society tells you you should be like fucking bitches like crazy from like 15-20 but in reality view fue do that and the ones that do are kinda stupid dumb people that end up living boring lives.
my best years was like 22-27 ithink
you can actually really fuck up and make your life worse than it is now at 20 trust me. just go out and do shit and see what happens sounds like effort but its worth it. just go to random gigs or bars or clubs and stuff for the fuck of it. like literally make that your 247 goal.
and if you have life goals and stuff and are super depressed about your social life just focus on social life 100% for a year or 2 and literally put it above all els even if you slack of and end up on wellfair or living out of parents pockets.
trust me its better to do that for your life than be a normie that struggels for ever.
>Be me
>Fuck you all
...
like im literally saying drop all your hobbies and just focus on socializing 247 you wont like "become dumb" if you do this for even 3years strait you will still have skills do stuff on the side when you are board but if you are in some mindset you have to be sucsessful before you meet people that will fuck you up.
just think about yourself as like a PUNK or some thing. just go out all the time.. you will spend like nights on end hanging out in bars on your own or talking to randoms but eventually you will find cool people its just how it goes.
dont put a time on it but imo if you are going out 247 for like 6months you will have close friends by the end. and then you can start to focus on balancing finacial persuits with socialising but until you have regular bros you should really be focusing on socalising like 100% of the time and basing yoru entire life around it.
just go out literally 3-4 times a week. just do it. you will thank me. if you dont like mainstream places find some indy shit .
>tfw you will never be Knuth/10
Seriously OP, start getting Jow Forums at some kind of level. Our civilization is cancerous to the individual. I am (your_age)*2 and was a fat depressed fuck for at least 15 years. Run/jog 2x a week and you will sleep like babby
SWITCH OUT OF CS.
tech is a miserable awful meme field filled with terrible people and ideas if you're already miserable in college you gotta get out. It's not worth the money. Try a trade or apprenticing a craft if you don't want to take that plunge immediately see if you like a sculpture or woodworking or blacksmithing class .
But X wouldn't be the grandfather if he was the direct father. To be the grandfather you would need a pattern that matches
X
\
Y---Z
\
W
X is the grandfather of W in this case
But not in this case:
X ---\
\ / \
Y W
Correct.
X is the father of A and B. OP is as retarded as his bucktooth imbred customer base.
youtu.be
Thank y'all.
The raw, unfiltered advice from here is worth a lot to me, I'll try getting healthier at least. Seems to be the bigest consensus about my autistic problems.
Don't listen to those legs freak, cardio is for fags. Do upper body instead.
More crash into them. Such is my grace.
I disagree. The lack of connection between the neurotypical and aspies shows severe ostricization and further more depress. This might be more accurately demonstrated by the fact that aspies are in fact 3x more likely to end their lives. Look it up.
Kek gotta become the SWOLE amiright?
>brainlet telling other people to be a brainlet
retard
>he fell for the chemical imbalances meme
Friendly reminder there is no evidence depression has anything to do with the amount of serotonin in your brain, and SSRIs increase the risk of suicide.
>implying you can't do both
>implying you won't be the faggot when you go for a run with some fit friends and can't keep up
I used to puke and shit randomly all the time on sertraline.
It also made me really apathic, lazy and difficult to deal with.
Might be worth looking into another antidepressant depending on how long you've been on it and how effective you feel it is.