So user, what is it you do for a living?

I don't.

Ive worked in several areas of IT now and unlike you, i actually get 4 days off for thanksgiving..oh wait don't you have to go back to work at that retail place tonight...hope you dont get shot sweetheart while all the normies pick up their government spy Alexa devices I might go home and play on my new Classic SNES and then maybe eat some leftover turkey...bitch

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>white """people"""
l m a o

>either $5.99 wine or soft drinks
the absolute state of america

I breath, drink a good amount of water, eat a good amount of food, sleep a little, you know, these basic human functions that keep us alive, nothing else.

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I fix other people's shitty music and occasionally get to work on something good.

I work for Geek Squad. It pays the bills

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Anyone else have a cool wine aunt?

No, but I am the racist beer uncle.

I'm a broke ass game developer who makes games that nobody plays. I've got a multiplayer game out right now that I can guarantee you doesn't have a single player on.

Nobody wants to play your shovelware asset flip on steam.

I won a modest salary of 60k in my country's lottery, so I just enjoy life and travel. Currently I'm getting a degree in Philosophy.

So Jim, how's the office job?

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t. virgin

Worked IT in the city, hated commuting. Work at the local grocery store for the time being, hate it too.
I really don't know where to go from here.

>>So user, what is it you do for a living?
I'm an addiction specialist physician, I handle the intake of patients at 4 different hospitals who are seeking treatment for their various addictions ranging from drugs to food, to dietary indiscretions like pica. I am also a chemical dependence counselor at an outpatient rehab facility 3 days a month. It's a lot of work, but it's fulfilling in ways that no other job has been in the 25 years since my first job.

I'm currently studying computer engineering, this is my second year.

Living off bitcoin gains

You should probably go to the afterlife

work at a grocery store in the city

How do I stop procrastinating and masturbating all the time?

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You should do remakes of classic 1980s 8bit home computer games. The people who played them first time round are all middle class and tech savvy these days, so we're likely candidates to shell out cash on google Play for your game.
Bonus points for choosing games where the original publisher went bust and can't sue you for copyright.

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The procrastinating is likely a symptom of some other underlying problem, like depression or a learning disability. Something a psychiatrist would need to figure out. The masturbating could also be part of some other issue I'm not qualified to diagnose. Do you feel anxious if you don't masturbate? Does it make you feel like you can't cope with life unless you tug your horn? (I know that's unprofessional, but it's Jow Forums ffs) if so, then you may be psychologically dependent on the act of masturbating if you feel like you can't live without it and get irritatible when you can't fap. In which case, I would recommend seeing a counselor or therapist that specializes in sexual addictive behaviors if you can.

Tidy your room.

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>So user, when are you giving us grandchildren?

It's sparkling cider, carbonated apple juice or something in a glass bottle.

So user, when are you giving us great-grandchildren?

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Cringe

>making sure the website of the biggest health insurance company in our country is running

Pretty funny to see the reactions because they seemed to know that this also means I have access to lots of medical records and tons of personal information.

fuck all
WOOOOOOO
down to last £10k in bank though so going back to being a soulless corporate whore
WOOOOOOO

i write software to process your data

>making sure the website of the biggest health insurance company in our country is running
>sudo service httpd status
>yup, it's running
wut?

I will let my team respond to that one.

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My family does know about that, though. I admin gov sites as a subcontractor.

Obviously explaining it to retards. Not mentioning all the backend, the automation stuff and general administration tasks that are part of it.

Just got out of the military after serving 13 years. Was an intelligence operator in the army and then radar operator in the Navy. Did a couple years as infantry in the very beginning.

i live in mom's basement because of a failed Western economy and monetary policy.

Did you win one of those set-for-life tickets up here in Leafville?

I fix expensive computers that run parts of the internet
(data center tech)

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Cliff?

If you mean Canada, no. Think longer with spanish.

Bob?

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I run a small marketing company. Not a successful one though.

That GIF...

Nothing of value was lost.

>what are you up to these days
>you find a nice gal yet
I haven't attended any family gatherings for years. So there's no need to answer questions like these.

I spend most of my time installing gentoo

In my free time I'm working on a robust scalable industrial grade SoS cloud based neural network fizzbuzz

I build Darknets

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I do malware reverse engineering.
>uh what does that mean?
I study how malware behaves and try to find ways to repair the damage to the users and prevent it from working again.
>i don't understand. why can't you talk like a normal person?
I work for McAfee.
>oh that virus thing. hey i brought my laptop with me, can you format it please?

I get money from the US government for a disability. I believe basic income will be instituted in my lifetime, probably within the next 20-30 years. I think it's likely I will continue to be on disability, but I'm not worried about losing it. I also get a small allowance from my parents. If you pay taxes, you contributed $0.00004 to my wellbeing. Thanks, I don't feel like I owe you a lot.

Hopefully not hanging out with these disgustingly happy weirdos.

>Heh you know those inspirational quotes with pictures of nature and sunsets on them that you share on facebook? I actually made a script that automatically generates those pictures from a catalog of 5,000 quotes and 10,000 royalty free photos of nature. I sell this program online for about 5 dollars, and it allows anyone to put their own website's logo and links in the bottom of the shared meme. Haha yeah like viral! I guess you could say I have a 4 HOUR WORKWEEK

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I'd pay good money for a Wild Arms 2 remaster. Brave Fencer Musashi too.

This is always what I thought the girl from 1984 looked like.

>fearing government spying devices disguised as household tech

whats the matter? you afraid they gonna catch you watching loli porn?

what game?

I really, really hope this is pasta or ironic.

>I might go home and play with childrens toys

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I try to figure out bullshit loopholes in languages, operating systems, and hardware designs to make processing network data events take infinitesimally less time. (HFTanon)

My family honestly gave up years ago trying to understand what I did at any level beyond this. I am effectively Computer Gandalf in their minds at this point, but I think that any sort of back-end dev work has this hazard.

i trying to f-ck something wiyhout going to jail

what are all these wypipo doing in my house

run a PMC
we've got assets all over asia and africa
running renditions and target recon

I'm a detective.

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I'm a janitor on a popular imageboard

cursed gif

Gay for pay

Did you waterboard people?

BI/Data Analyst soon to be Data Scientist. Job is exactly the same I just make 40k more per year.

>Brave Fencer Musashi
Based

when this happened to me today i made a disgusting chuckle, and said "Nothing," I live in grandmas basement in a northern Nevada mining town. This is a very conservative community, these people are all very uneducated and aspire to work themselves to death at the gold mine. I gave up on trying to please them years ago, im in a hostile environment and i act like it.

Why does everyone always act as if masturbating all the time is a bad thing? I've been jacking it once a day since I was 14; sometimes I fall asleep and skip days, but pretty much once a day for the past 15 fucking years. That's over 5000 faps.

Fapping is like brushing your teeth or shaving. It's a daily ritual. It's not something you should be addicted to, or something that absolutely must be done; it's just a normal thing you do all the time without thinking about it too much. It's healthy for the prostate, it can relieve stress, and it's pleasurable. What more do you need?

Neurosurgeon. Why? Feel like you have a brain tumor?

Racist beer uncle reporting in

>Cool user! You know, I have a laptop that isn't working. Think you can fix it?

You sound like a fucking pathetic sack of shit. Get your shit together. Join the military or something.

the worst part is i was asked that

Don't worry, so was I.

man getting ptsd from reading this get asked this 24/7

Do you have statistical/mathematical background? I've just started my masters in an unforgiving field which might turn out to be a dead end so I picked up programming as a plan b. Given that I have to learn some statistics and work with/interprete results/data in my field I figured out that data science might be the way. I have to get some basic understanding of R anyway and python is popular here as well. So If I succeed in my education I will have some great perks and if I don't I will have a way out. But I am worried that it might require much more than just learning it on the side. Does that make sense?

>My mission is to build engaging, modern, progressive web applications in order to further our understanding of an open web platform, delivered using modern container and cloud infrastructures, powered by the blockchain.
*vomits*

physical and emotional intimacy

user, you don't need to be this insecure. Learn to love yourself. You don't need a woman to validate yourself.

I thought the only game he's made was a shitty little point and click adventure
Touge1995 is actually shaping up though, in spite of all the delays

>unironically drinking carbonated poison

I love myself completely but masturbation pales in comparison to connecting intimately with another

autism bux?

I'm doing computer engineering (EECE), could I branch off into HFT with my degree?

fuck you
your drive encryption costs me at least 2 hours a day