How fucked am I?

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you could contact each site individually explaining what happened and usually they can resolve it, might just take a few days/weeks.

You know, the code that pops up when you first set up authenticator that says THIS IS YOUR RECOVERY CODE.

That never existed. I downloaded the app and started scanning QR codes

rip

it's 424263

QUICK

NORMIE GTFO

RIP

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Should have kept your code or at least use Authy spread across multiple devices.

the good news is, everyone else's crypto just got a little more valuable, so thanks.

Next time keep it on a Tablet that never leaves your house