You have 10 seconds to act as Norwegian as possible

IM A FILTHY WHITOID NORDOID SUBHUMAN AND I SUCK MED BVLL COCK EVERYDAY

*pays 12 euros for a burger*

muh HDI

I am a redneck fish-eating idiot who did nothing but fish until we found oil and I'm also insanely butthurt that Denmark colonized us 500 years ago.

>Dios mio...
>La monstruisidad...
>Wtf wrong with Finns???
>Fucking Finngols

Attached: 1533995483568.jpg (1079x1090, 252K)

*bernevernet comes*
*takes child*
**you're gonna meat your new "daddy"**

*kills 32 children*

Oh fuck yes

Attached: bb2026e0dda353ae3faa095745e2855b.jpg (500x377, 17K)

What a shitty thræd

WE WUZ VIKINGS, ROMANS, EGYPTIANS'N SHIT AND YOU ARE A BUNCH OF MEDKEK AND AMERIMUT URR DURR LOOK AT MY WEWUZERRY

*runs*

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This. Every Norwegian retard I met brags about and obsesses over Vikings. Why do they brag about being looting rapist barbaric pirates? And the rest of their history is being colonised and being irrelevant poor fish farmers

Why would you ever brag about something your ancestors did? Get your own accomplishments man.

I'm not kidding. They're almost as bad as Finns with Sweden about how terribly and cruelly that Denmark oppressed them for 400 years.

I could be killing innocent whales right now, if the State hadn't taken all my business's profits.

didn't know danes hate us so bad

he is not danish

Weren't you and Swedes also Vikings though?

>looting rapist barbaric pirates
#NotAllVikings

Therese doesn't have a big clit and it was merely lip palm, the PM will confirm this. She is a wholesome farm girl and the enourmous clit run in their family. It's the Norwegian genes. Look at that hot wheel chair girl. #hytteliv #pölse I will pay you 10 000 NOK for that pinch of butter. *chain smokes*

Yes. We mostly raided into Germany and England (cf. the Danelaw) and a Danish king even ruled England for a time. The Swedes mostly went east into Finland and Russia.

almost correct, we don't chainsmoke though, we use snus instead

Shut your mouth american dog.

Daily reminder that there wasn't a single Viking raid into Finland which didn't end in catastrophic failure

Well, that might have changed.

*takes your child*
WE ARE ONE OF THE SAFEST COUNTRIES

2 of them ended with finland being conquered

Attached: second swedish conquest of finland.png (528x105, 9K)

seething polack

Yeah it's funny they didn't conquer Finland until after becoming Christianized. I guess the power of Jesus was too great to overcome.

that is one palestinian rat making us look bad, ignore him

Doesn't seem like any of this ever happened

there are several references to finland being conquered throughout norse sagas so something definitly happened

Attached: first swedish conquest of finland.png (1092x75, 11K)

>*gives the goverment 60% of my income*

you are not Swedish
also its 2 different people retard

We didn't go much beyond northeastern Europe while Norwegians went all the way out into the Atlantic and settled Iceland, Greenland, and reached Canada and Swedes raided through Russia and all the way south to the Caspian Sea and Constantinople.

A respectable dane who doesn't treat our history like shit appears. Good on you, brother
The swedes are just as guilty

As a fisherman I only pay 23% direct income tax

From about 70,000 euro a year (as fishermen we get nice tax cuts)

Gib back colonies Denmark

Learn to tell the difference between mythological sagas and historical records.

i went to school with that guy he lives in my city

26% here

Regular sailors also get nice tax cuts, but only half of what fishermen gets

500 Norwegian criminal men got kicked out of Norway and captured 500 Irish women and sailed hopefully. Vikings tried to settle Greenland and Canada and got BTFO

they're based on oral tradition, so there's some merit to this shit. "finneskatten" was also a thing, where finngols, samis. bjarmians and the likes were forced by the vassals of the norwegian king to pay tribute

You forgot to mention how 90% of Norwegians died in the Black Plague and Danish settlers occupied the place. Norway was united with Denmark in the 14th century because all their nobility were gone.

tl;dr most modern Norwegians are really just Danes who LARP as the descendants of Leif Erikkson

No, 5000- 10,000 Norwegians left western Norway for Iceland when Norway was unified under 1 Norwegian king (they didn't approve).

Icelanders weren't "norwegian criminals", you dolt.
They voluntarily fled Norway because Harald Hårfagres regime was (supposedly) brutal.

Yeah I'm sure we dropped by at Sigtuna to give our tax money

glemte meldekort å vet ikke hvor mye nav trekker fåvæ

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I fucking hate norwegians

youtube.com/watch?v=h1qRN5B9c1I

DELET THIS

Based, Norway will always be our little bitch

Jeg er fra Bergen. Jeg elsker å pule geiter.

Nor-who?

>Finnish oral sagas aren't legit
>Scandi oral sagas are legit
evritaim

>mfw all the mmuheritagefags in Minnesota

They are inbred Norwegian-Celtic goblinos. They are literally all cousins and know each other. Its only 300k people. If you are Icelandic and meet another Icelandic you don't know and follow him on instagram, 90% of the time you will have mutual friends.

Soon you will be our little bitch. Things are returning to normal
;p

>we
those were karelians, not finns. regular finns were at times subject to the swedish king, which explains how easily the swedish crusaders conquered finland, as finns already had a history of being subjects to sweden

Cringe and bluepilled fåvæ

hytte på hytte på hytte

I guess Bjork is proof of what happens when cousins marry.

Non-poos

Nor what?
Aren*t they just Germans?

Don't shittalk the Icelanders, c*Ntinental. They are more nordic than your pseudo-g*Rman ass has ever and will ever be.

å, herregud.

finnish oral shit was written down in the 1800-1900s while norse shit was written down closer to a millenia earlier. it's safe to say that all finnish stuff like the kaleva is a modern fabrication

Lol Bjork is obviously half Greenlandic Inuit. Her mom obviously cucked her dad for the Big Greenlandic Cock. Greenland and Iceland are right next to each other and Greenlanders have a Danish passport so they can easily move to Iceland. Look at childhood photos of Bjork.

Attached: bjorkish_fam_01.jpg (462x346, 31K)

Yes, Icelanders are our true BROTHERS

On behalf of metal fans everywhere, the nation of Denmark would like to apologize for Lars Ulrich. I'm sorry.

>i cheat at sports and use doping

Daddy got cucked for Greenlandic Inuit Cock

Attached: bjork-childhood-photos-1.jpg (1123x1600, 234K)

GREENLANDIC BULL

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Dette

You are ethnically us

Neat, her parents were hippies.

dude, she obviously got downs

Most Scandinavians er ethnically the same
ÆOÅ

*burns church down*
*stabs you several times*
*becomes an ouiaboo*

Also, a couple of northern Dutch and Germans

Our metal scene has never been that good anyway compared with Norway, Sweden, and Finland.

her mom obviously cheated for big Greenlander dick

>caring about metal past the age of 15

I mean, her parents were both fucking hippies anyway so they were probably into the free love thing.

But no.

And this is why Denmark will never be Nordic
AND YES FINLAND IS BALTIC I KNOW

This is ART

youtube.com/watch?v=sOOebk_dKFo

By golly I just love clubbing seals to death.

Must be why Lars Ulrich had to move to America to have a career.