/brit/

Hurricane is a good Bob Dylan song

only had sex twice and im turning 20 next week, very grim

>Australian drought: Muslims hold Eid event to pray for rain
mashALLAH

I would like to smell the most putrid, rank fart Emma Watson can muster.

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only had sex 0 times and im 42

Currently in the bath lads, am leaving the house in an hour for the first time in about a month

font

Ah yes, I’ll surely trust the word of a pornstar. Someone who sells their body for a living will never sell their mouth.

No Muslims here
Pretty good ngl

What are you doing in Bath?

Weather says it's going to rain tomorrow but i'm sure that's a coincidence and it was allah that saves us.

library opens at 12:30 today
grim what to do until then

Virgin freak

mate its ten past five in the afternoon...

why do zoomers think they have it worse than everyone else? do you realize most of us are 25+ and not had sex at all? fuck off

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shit better rush down now thanks for reminding me x

Why? Don't do that, lad. How can you be suicidal? I mean, you can think about it, but don't actually put it into action. Just go stick your head out of the window and feel the breeze hit your face, and know that you're alive and anything could happen at any moment. The beauty of it all, all of that life moving forward and all around, even as you remain still, everything ticking over just as it should, and how it always would, like a big beautiful intricate clock. The birds chirping, the smell in the air that is as beautiful as ever, the weather, the signs of life, and of constant movement, in flux, eternally

Then go back inside and say, "What bunch of cunts!" and open up /brit/ and call people virgin freaks

>most of us are 25+

Lol fuck off back to facebook gramps

having some yoghurt

no worries babe

Got a spot on the side of my face that needs it's own passport

Wish Emma Watson would splatter diarrhea chunks all over my face.

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yeah I was a late bloomer
first time I had sex? think it was around 12-13 everyone at school mocked me for being a virgin so long

umm too much information

yoghurt’s actually a living animal, did you know that? It’s a load of microbes and shit. You’re literally eating an animal alive

Literally me

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on my period

neat

will they survive being dropped in my stomach acid?

nah, I don’t think so

aw

seems like there's something missing from my face
maybe i'll take a knife to it and give myself a scar like in my video games

Drink it

something to saaaaaaay
something to doooooooo
nothing to saaaaaay
when there's nothing to do

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gfs on the blob
had to bang her arsehole last night

>You’re literally eating an animal alive
This is the case with almost every single thing you could eat by that logic.

Mind yer bleedin' own you two bob cunt

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which fifa should i get? last one i have is fifa 15, is there a big difference between say 16 and 18?

there will never be a good GTA game again

Me, but not blonde.

There will never be a another GTA game period

GTA V was poo

youtu.be/BSTh2p3mWVo

giggle at this every time I see it

It actually exists, a cure for cancer.

It's a machine that generates an elecrtrical frequency that you pick for a certain kind of cancer. This frequency kills only the cancerous cells, but may harm any neighboring cells. But that's about it. You just put it on your body and after a set amount of hours, you're either fine or you have to wear it for longer. The machine itself was created in the 1910s, but it never caught steam because no one in the medical community wanted to use it. Why cure cancer when you can treat it and wring people out of every cent they've got?

It makes me really fucking angry because if you know what Chemotherapy is, you know that if you have to take it, you've already lost. Chemo is just a powerful fucking poison being run through your body that kills cells, and when you take it i, the hope is that it kills your cancerous cells, but it will also harm literlally everyhting else it comes into contact with. I've had several friends who had to watch their family members slowly fucking die because their doctors treated them by running bleach and rat poison through their veins.

I know it's real and it works because it's the only reason my grandfather and aunt, both of which whom I love, are still with me.

I don't have a source for this shit. Believe me, or don't, I don't care.

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I like the signs one

based thanks was a bit worried about my cancer

All video games are shit

This. I got chancye for dates in my early 20s but I flipped out

don't get poofs
nowt wrong with a girls arsehole that would make me want to bum a bloke

>tfw my bad luck outperformed the predestined good luck as predicted by enlightened people

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>tfw had as much sex yesterday as this 20yo boomer has had in his entire life

think they can't help it

Adult virgins freak me out, I won't lie.
Unless you're a monk or something then it's fucked up.

Anal is disgusting in general. Regardless of whether it's a woman or not. Dirty sodomite freak

>Adult virgins freak me out
>Anal is disgusting in general
bizarro auto-freaking virgin

>20yo boomer
hello new

Post the maddest things you do at work
>piss in the sink every time i can
>boss asks who is pissing in sink
>"not me lol i piss in the bushes outside"
>"ok who is pissing in sink pls stop ok"
>piss in the sink even more frequently

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In the matters of virginity i am a monk

wanking 4 times a day lately
state of me

Stefan Karl Stefansson - RIP
1975-2018

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why didn't your parents arrange a marriage for you

baby don't understand why we can't just hold on to each other's hands

cheeky cunt

Go to next step. Pee from window onto your incoming clients

Never can find many Tigerr Benson videos. I don’t know why I find her so arousing

What's bizarre about that?

Adult virgins freak me out because to be an adult virgin means you lack the basic humanity to even be able to charm a woman in to sleeping with you. You can't even will your way into fucking someone? in 2018?

Anal is disgusting because you're literally fucking poo. Don't let those pornos you watch fool you. The pussy is more than good enough.

I believe in Satan Claus. ama

My uncle (mum's brother) found one kek. But mum told him to stfu. Based mum

Will move to The British Indian Ocean Territory and practice my monkery there

>Peestonia

youtube.com/watch?v=Z9NRfk7TG_s

because you sound like a virgin but at the same time say you get freaked out by them, which would mean you freak yourself out (hence auto-freaking) which is fucking bizarre

you've never done anal if you think you're fucking shit, done it many times and never once ended up with poo on my dick.
>The pussy is more than good enough.
t. no blowies, no anal, no handjobs

you sound honestly like a speccy little virign gimp

anal is the thinking mans sex

>>Peestonia
Shartstralia lmao
Lmao i dont work in office
Cheeki breeki

Best sex is imaginary

Only the military is allowed there

Holy shit, I'm really lit
It's looking like it's 'bout time to fuck it up
Caroline, listen up, don't wanna hear
About ya horoscope or what the future holds
Shut up and shut up and

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Don't care what it sounds like, it's not wrong, is it, champ? Fuck off poo fucker

never done sex

do you use condoms for anal?

>mummy disturbs my nappy nap
>throw her clothes into the street

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is it wrong to be a virgin freak in current european ethics?

Once... Twice... Three times a paki

Yes. Stop using the internet so much

Okay British virgin islands it is then

no, of course not you chimp

england mentioned

good lad, keep the sluts where they belong

fudge packer

Crapped thrice t'day

When they kick at your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun
When the law break in
How you gonna go?
Shot down on the pavement
Or waiting on death row
You can crush us
You can bruise us
But you'll have to answer to
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh oh, the guns of Brixton
The money feels good
And your life you like it well
But surely your time will come
As in heaven, as in hell