Br*Tish """English"""

oi wont som bitah betah botah

Main problem with you guys is obnoxious "r" where it shouldn't be (fork, for, more) and saying "o" as "a" ("body" said as "bady" and "bother" as "bather"), just like Russians do it

>"body" said as "bady" and "bother" as "bather"
literally no one does this

English itself is a shitty language

>dude just skip r's and don't pronounce them

FOH-EVAH

fuck OFF mom there is NOT a fuckin' alien in the meer UGH
*punches the wall of the lunar module*

UK
>I'm going to the shopping centre

US
>Yeeeeeeahhhh maaaahhhnnn, you gouhn to tha maaahhlllll?

Why do Americans talk like this?

Literally every single American does it, an now half of Europe in Euro-English AND most of Asia too due to your influence.

t. seseo

Why did you write "yew" and "faice"?
Do British people pronounce "you" and "face" differently? Or were you spelling like a retard for dramatic effect?

American accent is unironically the best. Sucks to be born here but at least I don't sound like a barbarian.

Are you guys talking about the cot/caught merge?

UK
>OIM GOIN TO THA SHAWPIN CENTA BRUV, WANT AYFING YA FUCKABLE GIT?
US
>I'm going to the grocery store Jimmy. Do you want anything?
ftfy

>why don't you use Spaniard lisp
Kill yourself

>tfw people in my family unironically talk like this
youtube.com/watch?v=jqsf6aDciUI

lol

"No." Body is more like bAHdy.. Not BADy. Unless you're from boston.

huh?

roight you aah, me good chump
innit?

>FUCKABLE GIT

Attached: sweat.png (215x179, 22K)

Only when non Americans speak it, we fixed it

I'd say it does, but then I remembered American pronunciation of the letter "a" is far fetched on its own too.

Your pronunciation of "cat", "fat" sounds like you have an "e" there instead of "a".
While "i" slides into a high "e" too.

So that "body", "cat", and "shit" are said like "bady", "cet" and "sheit" in US English.

Not to mention "t" tends to get flapped, like "water" sounds like "warer" (with first r being a flap, and second being the normal guttural anglo r) instead of regular "wota" that bongs say

>sapato
>saragosa
>sinco
Yeah nah I'll pass on your posts

blimey mate, three snowflakes, im already freezin be bollocks off ouva 'ea

Sorry I misspelled it
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cot–caught_merger

>theretha
Sorry but we don't like to spit out every word and sound like retards speaking like Sylvester the cat.

Old worlders should be executed for trying to speak English.

That's normal Spanish though. No offence, but you have some colonial accent. Just like the Americans.

It can be charming, but it sounds off for sure.

The main difference between these petty threads, is that Brits (and the rest of the world) know the variances in American accents, whereas every American thinks Brits either speak like The Queen or A Victorian Chimneysweep.

>Your pronunciation of "cat", "fat" sounds like you have an "e" there instead of "a".
What
>So that "body", "cat", and "shit" are said like "bady", "cet" and "sheit" in US English.
what are you smoking.
>Not to mention "t" tends to get flapped, like "water" sounds like "warer"
No It's mostly like "wadder". It it was pronounce like it was spelt it would have a pause like wa-ter. But people say it fast so it comes out like wadder.

>instead of regular "wota" that bongs say
They don't even say it "right" either. not even pronouncing the -er at the end. Scots do "wah".

>call business in UK
>Scotswoman picks up, wrong number, she tells me the number to the right department
>"nein, forr, oh, sex..."
>y-you too

>That's normal Spanish
kek
Yeah, and I'm sure "oi gobnah, me n me m8s ah 'aving a giggle" is """normal""" English too

well I know there is a rhotic divide, with a nonrhotic accent seeming more lower class
Though I would not be able to discern an emu from a Aus by accent desu

>wadder
There's not a hint of d in it, come on.
Have you completely lost any sense of what sounds were supposed to be behind the letters of the Latin alphabet?

Cause at that point your spelling is so far off your pronunciation that I wouldn't be surprised with this being the case.

>not even pronouncing the -er at the end
That's how it's supposed to be said though.

>nonrhotic accent seeming more lower class

>So that "body", "cat", and "shit" are said like "bady", "cet" and "sheit" in US English.
Based and true. American usually talk with an elongated tinge. Boston is like a more extreme version of this.

US also has a lot of variety. Some are more annoying, and some are the more ideal hollywood-type. It depends.

I'm 56% Scottish and I will not tolerate your attempt to mock my distant third cousins.

An Edinburgh accent on a woman is incredibly sexy desu. Glaswegian Scottish is where things take a wrong turn.

nytimes.com/interactive/2014/upshot/dialect-quiz-map.html
fellas why don't you see where you talk like. I'm interested to see where it tries to place some of you foreigners. For me it was very accurate (pic related)

Attached: accent_located.png (1050x556, 270K)

I would agree, but they are devoid of any emotion and they always sound bored and that you're bothering them. The Englishwomen are more pleasant, and they'll say "cheers love" often before disconnecting.

>There's not a hint of d in it, come on.
Either get your ears checked or come to the US. I live here so I hear it all the time. WAH-der. Or wadder if it spergs out fast. Not "warer".

>Have you completely lost any sense of what sounds were supposed to be behind the letters of the Latin alphabet?
Have you completely lost any sense of telling me how we say things?

>Cause at that point your spelling is so far off your pronunciation that I wouldn't be surprised with this being the case.
I'm spelling it like it's said. The word is water. The way people say it is "wadder".

>That's how it's supposed to be said though.
Lmao. Get the fuck outta here

>Mfw Americans say mirror as "meer"

Attached: 1516289713637.jpg (720x800, 232K)

> There's not a hint of d in it, come on.
user, the Kazakh was criticizing you for your phonology not being consistent with the written form. He wasn't denying that you Pronounce the 'd' sound.

I think you're both in agreement here.

>your phonology not being consistent with the written form.
Of course. I'm not saying we pronounce it right at all. I'm just saying we don't pronounce it the way he's typing it.

Nah, american english say water like wawah.

It's called 'pop' you stupid sissy Swede.

>WAH-der. Or wadder if it spergs out fast. Not "warer".
I know what you want to say, what I mean is the letter for the sound you have in mind is not "d". It's a type of r called a flap.
Not my fault there's no separate letter for the guttural "r" you use in American English.

Same for other sounds/letters. And at this point, all your vowels except maybe "e" are distored, most of it is fucked up in UK English already, but US just completes the picture of desolation:
>"a" in "cat" is said like "cet"
>"i" in "hint" is said like "hynt"
>the sound i does appear and it's spelled "ee" and it can only be long, and it's a glide (going into "ei") most of the time as if that wasn't enough
>"y" is not a vowel, and when it is, it's an "ai" like in "why" is "wai"
>"o" is pronounced like "a" ("body") or a fucking "ou" ("no") with some "u" to it
>letter "u" itself is fucked as well, often said like "a" (hut)
>normal u sound also exists, yes, and of course it's spelled "oo" because we can't keep to what it's supposed to be in Latin alphabet... and the UK has a glide there too to rub salt in the wound
>only "e" is normal most of the time, maybe except words like "phoebE" where it's said like "i"
I'm disgusted.
Fix your goddamn alphabet because you Anglos are forgetting what letters are supposed to mean what, it's all sliding apart

>brits pronounce car as "cah", core as "coh" and cure as "kioh"

Attached: QaYqtd7.png (645x729, 90K)

I don't think that is a good site desu

Attached: question mark.png (784x688, 236K)

I think you mean Coke™

Yes.
I'm not a Kazakh btw, just a tourist here.

>coke
>pronounced "kouk"

>car as "cah"
Carh
>core as "coh"
Corr
>cure as "kioh"
Literally what?

Americans sure do love kouk, gotta get that jummy liquid in their mouth.

>>"a" in "cat" is said like "cet"
If I were to say "cet" right now, it wouldn't be like how I normally say it.
>>"i" in "hint" is said like "hynt"
This really isn't the fault of US english as "hynt" is fucked up either way.
>>"y" is not a vowel, and when it is, it's an "ai" like in "why" is "wai"
True. "wai" is said like "why". This is a problem for a lot of words in which two different words sound the exact same. More of the fault of english altogether
>>"o" is pronounced like "a" ("body") or a fucking "ou" ("no") with some "u" to it
I see now. Like BAH-dy, and not bO-dy.
>>letter "u" itself is fucked as well, often said like "a" (hut)
Nah hut sounds like U to me. h-UH-t.
>I'm disgusted. Fix your goddamn alphabet because you Anglos are forgetting what letters are supposed to mean what, it's all sliding apart
It just works though. Most of it helps in context. So you don't get confused.

> Kioh
This is officially the most botched attempt at transcribing pronunciation I've seen on this site. How does that even resemble any form of the word 'cure'

It looks like the name of some Japanese Fish species. Jesus Christ Mexico.

all y'all howdy Brits confirmed darn tootin hunky dory dixies yee haw

>UH
You do realise the sound you are trying to transcribe as "u h" with letters "u" and "h" is just an "a" sound?

That sound has no type of "u" in it nor "h".

Let's try to be a little more professional about it and use the International Phonetic Alphabet which for the same sounds has same letters no matter what language in the world:
>letter "u" is used for an [u] sound
>"hut" in English is pronounced like [hat] unless you're northern English, Scottish or Irish
>people try to write down that sound as "uh"

Please don't shoot me! ( though you're entitled to shoot me if I have infringed your corporate trademark in any manner.)

A lot of non Americans have a strong affinity to Southern Culture desu. Parts of rural New Zealand loves country music and has a kind of cringworthy form of cowboy culture.

>"u h" with letters "u" and "h" is just an "a" sound?
Give me a video with your example of someone saying it. Some words that are said:
r-UH-n
UH-p
g-UH-n
s-UH-n
Of course "U" isn't said like itself as a letter in any scenario I think.

>>"hut" in English is pronounced like [hat] unless you're northern English, Scottish or Irish
>people try to write down that sound as "uh"

lmao. dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/hut
US says h-UH-t.

>Of course "U" isn't said like itself as a letter in any scenario I think.

hmm let's see what sound is behind the letter "u"
>original Latin, e.g. "fundamentum"
u
>Romance languages, e.g. "culo", "rouge", "dracul"
u
>Slavic languages, e.g. "dużo", "duje", "budni"
u
>most Germanic languages, e.g. "du", "Fuß", "þú"
u
>Finno-Ugric languages, e.g. "út", "kukka"
u
>Turkic languages, e.g. "uzak"
u
>English, e.g. "hut", "nut"
a

English pronunciation and spelling are sliding apart from each other like slabs of wet fat stacked one onto another, and the fact that the "run" sound being an "a" can be transcribed as "uh" is a proof of it

I dunno. If you're complaining about english I can't help you. I'm just saying US and UK is the same see pic related. That up carrot symbol in the middle is the open-mid back unrounded vowel

youtu.be/_63fTgbG-yQ
in this video she describes it as a UH sound.

youtu.be/zUpF0pYoTZ8
He does it too for UK english. The guttoral "UH" sound. While "ah" tends to be higher pitched

Attached: Untitled.png (360x124, 4K)

Yeah, I know, I'm just complaining.
>That up carrot symbol in the middle is the open-mid back unrounded vowel
Funny trivia here is that's it not even an [ʌ] sound. That pronunciation comes from 1920s if I remember the phonetics books right and the IPA symbol [ʌ] is used for a different sound. Modern English in both GA and RP English uses [ä] for "hut", "nut", which is identical to sound behind the letter "a" in most languages.

But to me US English goes even further in that, because the bongs still say "body" with an "o". Americans depart well into "a" already.

Yeah languages change. I mean old english looks nothing like it does now. You just have to focus on what people say today. Not what was originally said because it's constantly in flux.

>But to me US English goes even further in that, because the bongs still say "body" with an "o". Americans depart well into "a" already.
Yeah, it's finicky. But to most it doesn't matter.

Do they actually sound that bad?

Attached: 40B0B027-9139-41CA-B418-538F8FC23723.png (300x319, 82K)

No; it’s like the Scottish accent. The stronger it is the more it hurts the ears.