User, sell me this pen

Ma niggas i heard you was lookin for a pen.

>I could tell you to write me something important or that would make you need it etc...
>I could just be up front until you that this here laptop can do all of that and more, and I will throw in this portable printer/fax so not only can you email whatever I wanted you to write but you can print or fax it to me as well.
>Doesn't stop there the utilization for it can be much personal for your own needs, to fulfill things you want all behind the convenience of a screen, what your favorite show and type me a message.
>or you could with this pen, that I make more money in percentage on yet is limited in every other capacity.

buys pen I win.

If you don't buy this pen your mom will die tonigh in her sleep

The pen is not for sale, sir. Only the elite of the elite are able to possess such an item. Why don't you go down to Staples and get something more for your caliber.

>This pen will be worth $100 one day.
>I can sell it to you for $2.
>All your friends already bought one.
>You wanna be the only one who didn't buy?
>Think about all your friends pointing and laughing at you for a moment...
>So how many are you buying?

Gotta invoke that FOMO. Works so well on normies it's ridiculous.

Scarlett Johansson Masturbated with this pen and you only have to use it on your jacket poket to get any woman you want. Magic powers from Scarlett pulsating pussy

ever hear of a pussy fountain pen?
you're about to buy it
Pussy. See you thought it was gonna provide pussy like a fountain or some shit. But it is a pen for limp wristes faggots.
Now write your name faggot!