How do you fuck up pizza this badly?

How do you fuck up pizza this badly?

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nytimes.com/2001/04/03/nyregion/the-albanian-connection-as-italians-move-up-a-new-group-does-the-pizza-and-pasta.html
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_Connection_Trial
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

>tfw I am not eating a greasy delicious Costco pizza right now

Hold me, Amerimutt T_T

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why do italians not respect american cuisine

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it doesn't look bad, just traditional

Costco pizza is best

how do you make a good pizza from scratch? please tell me dear italians.

Sicilian style is underrated.

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First, invent the universe.

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>Using pre-made universes
Ah yes, the """""traditional"""""" Italy

a few of italian restaurants I have been to were run by albanians for some reason

Probably the same middle eastern places rename their restaurants "Greek" or "Mediterranean"

looks delish

They serve that type of pizza near work. All ingredients imported from Italy, it's real good.

Costco pizza really isn’t even that good. I never understood that meme. Their hot dogs used to be good when they used the Jewish ones. And those large hot pocket things are good, but the pizza is whatever

It is better and cheaper than most other pizza here in Korea

Italians betting BTFO'd left and right.

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Easiest to make in the oven at home. The other type needs extreme heat.

Just because I'm feeling generous.
You'll need:
•flour (I usually mix whole grain with 00 in equal part)
•water
•yeast
•almost a spoon of salt for every kg of flour you're using
•mashed potatoes if you like it more soft and more filling, usually three fist sized potatoes per kg

Mix, knead, let rest for an hour in a warm but not too dry place. I usually wrap the bowl in blankets and put it near the fireplace.
If you use sourdough instead of simple yeast, time of rest may change.

after an hour knead again, split in balls (right size is usually 6-7 balls per kg of flour, numbers may vary depending on presence of potatoes and tipe of yeast used), let them rest again.

take a ball, lay and stretch with a rolling pin, add tomato sauce, not too much or it will sog and became an american miscarriage, add mozzarella with same attention to quantity, some basil, put in an already heated oven.
I always do it in a wood fueled one, so I can't say what temperature, but 180°c in a ventilated oven should do.

Enjoy your pizza, everything besides this guide is only experience and experimentation.

looks perfect to me

forgot to quote you, fellow kraut

Just mix a kg of flour with yeast salt olive oil and enough water to knead the dough (this is enough for 4 or more pizza). Wait 2 hours or more (usually I cut a cross on the dough so its easier to tell if it raised) Then prepare pizzas put tomato and oil and put them in the oven. When they're almost ready add mozzarella and basil and then back in the oven for 5 min

Wtf, wheres ananas and kebab meat?

I saw a pizza in Germany with shrimps and cream

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cringe

extra dough seems shit tier

Is it stuffed crust tho? If so then it shouldn't be too bad

Combo slice+polish sausage+refillable soda for 4 bucks or whatever is like the GOAT American fast dining experience. Chicken bakes are also gud but more expensive. Their sweet brisket sandwiches are garbo tho

Sfincione is good. Here some italian also do "pinsa" (a roman kind of pizza). Ever tried testaroli? Is a kind of pasta they do in Toscana. Really delicious imo

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ah, the finesse of brazilian cuisine

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this is the best pizza
with nduja and kale

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>reindeer pizza
unironically based. fuck italy

That looks amazingly good!

Maybe you just don't know what a normal pizza looks like OP

Looks like a burger made of yesterday's leftovers.

kys

It's actually very simple, but you need quality produce and a good oven.

I'm interested, what is the texture of testaroli like?

that's how a good pizza should look like

What do you mean, amerifat? That pizza looks alright

>norwegians know nduja
Wtf

Why wouldn’t we know nduja

Too much bread. Its like a thick cake.

obligatory kebabpizza

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Pizza for Americans.

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Not really that famous outside italy

>tfw kebappeople to make you kebabpizza
>tfw overhead some military guys talking about how good it was while at an airport

Kys

this is how pizza should be
this looks like some cheap discount
brand and probably tastes like plastic
yikes

>that pizza
>fucked up badly

but we have italianos here having pizza restaurants

>heroin albanian connection
albanian mafia trafficks heroin in pizza shops

The Albanian Connection; As Italians Move Up, a New Group Does the Pizza and Pasta

nytimes.com/2001/04/03/nyregion/the-albanian-connection-as-italians-move-up-a-new-group-does-the-pizza-and-pasta.html

utilized a number of independently owned pizza parlors as fronts for narcotics sales and collections

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_Connection_Trial

I remember the good ol days back in NY. i watched helicopters land on top of ginos pizza and drop down by rope, they unloaded tons of heroin and they did this monthly. it was so prevalent back in those days it was incredible, police were on the take and looked the other way, drugs flooded NY.

The drugs were stored at the pizza parlors. the money after it was made was either bought out in large suitcases and put on a plane out of JFK back to sicily or laundered through brokerage exchanges(chicago mercantile exchange) and foreign banks like bcci and swiss banks.

take pic rel, add tomato sauce, olive oil (good quality pls) , anchovies, basil, capers, put in the oven for 15-20 minutes and you have an easy made good pizza

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This happens a lot, all the Greek, Mediterranean, and even Pizzerias, are run by Arabs

>he doesn't eat exclusively thin crust pizza
bluepilled

Looks good to me.

Also Greeks and Latin Americans
People that Americans could mistake for Italians but are poorer

>stuffed crust chicago town frozen pizza? my favourite

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Okay, I've always found these "hotdog-crust" pizzas a disgusting concept, but the idea of a pretzel dough crust is so appealing that it actually makes me want that stupid pretzel-dog-crust pizza.

God damn now I just want one of those big soft pretzels you can always find at malls, with a side of that mostly-artificial cheese dip too.

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>why, yes i do prefer pizza without kebab

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