Sell me this pen

Haha

We don't sell pens. We sell [ ].

If you have this pen, you will definitely get a gf.

Buy this pen or your mother will die while you sleep.

that pen was used to sign Ron Paul's mortgage

This pen feels good in your poo poo hole

I prepared for this question by hoarding all the pens in your supply closet. I now own every pen in this office and your business would be crippled without pens. You can buy pens from me for $100 each. Here's my card. Give me a call next time a hurricane comes around and you need water or a generator.

If you have a pen you can
>timestamp
>put it in your asshole
>collect donations in bitcoin

If you buy it and put it up your ass I'll give you 0.1 BTC. Deal?

this pen is usually $20 USD but we are selling it for $19.99, plus tip.

We also do installment payments so you can worry about paying back the debt later!