How are people okay with themselves?

>partnership is scary so there's something wrong with anybody who's made unhappy by loneliness

yes

nice strawman fgt

As someone who is happily single, these are stupid posts written by an autist who isn't over the age of 20.

>Although male doctors are generally better than >female doctors.
I've seen a lot MDs in my life. Men and women are practically equal in terms of professionalism as doctors.
Male gynecologist are somehow better though.

>strawmans me twice
>tells another user to stop strawmanning

How is that in any way a strawman? It's pretty much the definition of co-dependence. Chill the fuck out.

"Loneliness" can be cured by getting some actual friends and not expecting a singular person to cure all of your ails. No one wants to constantly be emotionally drained by another person that has absolutely zero coping mechanisms of their own.

>male doctors are better

Fake, female doctors are better because women are better at showing empathy and comforting people>

>opinions presented as fact without any supporting data

>I can’t use google so you must be lying

another strawman in this thread of absolute stupidity

If you’re a girl I can understand being upset about being single. A woman can’t function properly when she’s single, their entire lives revolve around attaching themselves to a man who can protect them emotionally/mentally/spiritually/physically/etc. Gaining the love of a man is the primary purpose women do things.

For a man, he shouldn’t be so dramatic. A relationship is another SUPPLEMENT to a man’s already great life. Not the main course. Loving a woman and being loved by a woman are sidequests. Minigames.

Get the fuck over yourself.

Sounds like you're a fundamentally empty human being with no passion who thinks, for some reason, having a woman would fill some hole in your life. The hole is that you do shit like join the army just because you want "job security" and lift weights, not because you want to better yourself or to enjoy it, but to distract yourself from how much of a fucking loser you think you are.

It's obvious from your relationship history "a wife" wouldn't make you feel better. Once you got over the ego boost of the wedding and the idea of being married, you'd go back to being the same empty loser you are now, and you'd just hate your new wife for not fixing your sad life like she was "supposed to", so you'd go cheat on her because you're not "fulfilled".

Go do something actually productive with your life, faggot.

try to keep up

inability to get through a day without being told you're special is a far cry from inability to be fulfilled through years or decades without close connection or intimacy

I never understood the having to ask gf to do stuff. Like wtf back then both my ex and me did whatever the fuck we wanted whenever.

I can understand to some degree if you haven't been in a relationship or at least some dating in a while being a little bit down about it - I've been there in the past. But you have a hole in your life that a woman just isn't going to fix.

It happens with both men and women. There's plenty of Jow Forums threads with men super pissed off that their girl is out with someone else, so she must be cheating. The same thing happens with girls. "Why's he out doing anything? Why isn't he spending time with me? Is he hitting on another girl?"

People have this toxic mindset that you should be codependent. Hell, even my buddy who has an alright thing going with his girl is stuck with her all weekend... it's "date night" on Friday, a planned Saturday drive out to a nearby town to do some things, Sunday is a friend's kid's birthday party. Nowhere in there is there any time to poop, sleep, whatever.

Relationships can be just fine, but plenty of them are stuck in the toxic thought process of how they "should" be.

Its naive to say that a person who needs relationship is week. Week people are those who cannot get over themselves and never ever get the courage to flirt with someone from opposite sex.

This is harsher than I would word it, but this guy does have some decent advice.

Having a girlfriend/wife isn't a magic bullet fix-all. If you believe it will be, you will inevitably be disappointed. You need to create value within yourself and your own life. Having someone to go through your life with you does make it more pleasant, and a bit easier. But good friends can provide the same thing.

You should focus on making yourself happy. Only you can fix your life and your low opinion of yourself. Who do you want to be? What do you want to do? What is your ideal self? Work towards those.

And funny enough, when you stop looking for love, that's usually when you find it. Women will see that you're happy and complete, that you want them in your life because you need them as a bandage but because you want them for who they are. Love isn't one person fixing another. It's two people working together.

*you want them in your line NOT because you need them as a bandage

>empty reply from a person strawmanning like crazy with no central point

damn dk you call even that shit thoughts?

instead of falling in love with someone.
fall in love with something, like a hobby.

passion keeps us from being depressed. we have an instinctual passion for the opposite gender that's very strong and it doesn't go away. but because most of the time other people are fickle and a mixed bag it usually leaves us failing hard in life. thing is though even though that drive is instinctual, it's a lot like a default mode for the energy to focus on if you have no other aspirations. take that energy and CHANNEL it and you'll be surprised how easy it is to give up women for something else. and it will also be surprising how obsessed you can get with whatever you like. look at the autismos who get obsessed with fandoms or video games. when they're doing what they love i can assure you being with a woman are the last thing on their mind. Nikola Tesla also talked about how to channel the sexual desire into his science rather than pursue women.

having control over your mind and thoughts is how you become content with yourself because once establishing control over yourself you can live how you see fit at full potential. all humans have innate desire and its up to us to decide where that goes. wanting to be with a woman is just default mode for our brains. put that energy elsewhere and you'll find contentness on your own.

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Op here, and i want you to consider the following:

Who are the people who say 'why can't you be happy just by yourself, like i am'??

They are one of the three:
1) Omega males that have given up on life/beta teens who think they will be able to play videogames and masturbate until the day they die without a worry in the world
2) Alpha males who are technically always single because they jump from one pussy to the next
3) Women

As you can see, nobody is truly happy without a partner. It's our biological imperative to have a mate, a family. Mine is even stronger now because my parents both died by cancer lately, my grandparents also, so my entire immediate bloodline is dead, its just me and my sister who is depressed (for good reason) and fat and will probably never have children.

Also if i would describe my last relationship, we basically broke up because she would passively-aggresively not let me go to the gym, ex:'Yeah you can go to the gym im sleeping at 9 you can sleep in yourplace' and also she was a neat freak and even though i'm not the tidiest person in the world, no matter how much i cleaned my house she would always find it filthy. Eventually we stopped having sex and we broke up. The same girl that said i'm the only one she ever considered marrying and extended her job even though she hates it here, and also moved next door to me so we could be closer broke up with me because the toilet bowl isn't clean enough.

Of course the above is bullshit because i'm sure she is dating some fucker right now. At least i hope she didn't cuck me and fucked him after we broke up.

I do channel my energy , worry not. Im working on getting my skipper licence and motorcycle licence, now that i have money. I also do kickbox/bjj/weights daily.

Still, all the above is coping. I could be like the average male, unfit, with a beer gut, doing nothing of importance but still having one or more very attractive women worshiping me because ?? I'll never know.

>There's only three types of people happy with their lives while single

Alright man, whatever you say, seems like you have it all figured out.

Just because you're miserable and lonely and need validation doesn't mean everyone else does. Would a relationship be cool? Sure, if I met the right person. Would a relationship be cool if I was just in it so I could brag to others that I was, but in reality, that person was terrible? No. "Be happy while single" doesn't mean "never date again," it just means it's not the end of the world to kick it solo.

It's not a fucking "biological imperative" to have kids, it's not that important. We have no imperative, time to suck it up and accept that. Putting another useless shit on this planet that will eventually grow up to sit in an office cubicle is not important. Churning out a baby for your own selfish reasons is stupid, unless you can actually handle a kid in a mature way. But from what we've read, you're obviously just going to be a miserably unhappy example for your kid to look up with, a dad who is with a woman he doesn't like just because it's what someone told him he should do.

Of course, you only have terrible examples from your last relationship, nothing but negative memories, but you're jealous that the woman that made your life shitty and negative MIGHT be fucking someone else. God forbid.

I have good memories too. The best feel is how proud i was of myself this super beautiful woman was with me and other guys were hitting on her and she turned them down(it may not be the case but that's what i force myself to believe)

Everyone , EVERYONE needs validation. People who say they don't need it are the ones that are already getting it, ergo cases b) and c) in my example. We are social creatures and if we are unvalidated we feel left out of the pack and wither and die. That's the way it is.

And you must be young, because once you reach my age you will slowly understand why you need to have kids. Every single one of your friends gets their family, they don't hang out with you anymore, you cannot connect with anyone anymore because all they talk about is their family, and you are now lonely and with no hope of redeeming yourself because your prime years are over and you have failed to do what every single other retard in your vicinity has. It's not a good feel.

The only time i remember myself genuinely happy being alone was when i was a 20 year old NEET who never even kissed a girl and all i did was play videogames and workout(ineffectively but still). I don't wanna go back to this. And i can't enjoy anything anymore besides working out and getting punched in the face during sparring because i keep thinking how much better it would be with a girl at my side.

Everybody needs validation but it doesn't have to come from a romantic or sexual relationship.

I'm 32 bro. I doubt you're older than me given this board's demographic.

Sure, I have some decent validation. I have a good job. I own a home, I have a nice car, and I have a great variety of friends that I spend time with. I have a few girls who are interested in me, but that I don't want to date. I know that if I were really horny, I could go to a bar and come home with someone, because I have my own set of interests to talk about, and I'm not desperate for attention.

The need to have kids isn't there. I get your "I've lost some people to their family situation" thing, but that is countered by finding like-minded people who aren't particularly interested in kids, and making sure you stay out and active, instead of being a videogame playing NEET. You're a man, and can have kids for a much longer time than women, so consider yourself lucky, and stop panicking.

You know what makes it easy to not miss kids or a family? When all of my bros at the watercooler talk about how they slept two hours last night, and look like shit. Or talk about how they haven't watched anything but Doc McStuffins in two months. Or that they're going to sit at their desk and do more work so they don't have to go home and deal with a screaming child. Even worse - most of them are dropping their kid off at daycare to be raised by someone else.

How wonderful! How fulfilling! Right now I'm watching college football on one TV, playing Spider-Man on the other, shitposting on Jow Forums, and 5:00 I'll be out drinking with my pals watching the game. This is fucking wonderful. I could be sitting in the sun watching kids struggle to play tee ball right now if I had my buddies' "married life."

Yeah, but some may regret having no kids as they get older. It's a personal choice, but it's more wise to make it when you're adult. I think the kids of the guys you've described are accidental.

I don't really want to have kids as well but it's my duty. Society doesn't respect you as a man if you don't have a family. I even see it in my job, if you don't have kids you always get assigned to the shittiest posts and always do more shifts. And i'm an officer so if i don't have kids ill probably get stuck in my ranks as well.

I don't enjoy hanging out with my friends. And i have a lot of them. We see each other at work, i don't have much more to talk about them. That's why every time im in a relationship i rarely hang out with them desu.

I admit my obsession with not being alone is from having my first relationship at 25, but still the insecurity and fear is impossible to get rid of. My body is my best coping mechanism, having 10% bodyfat and mogging everyone on the beach is one of the few things that keeps my self esteem from reaching rock bottom. Which why i broke up with the last girl , take away my ability to work out and i turn ballistic.

And you may have stories about your friends hating married life but then i see my superior who is tall and blue eyed and has a smoking hot and super intelligent wife that had been dating him for 8 years before that and i can't help but feel envy. He didn't have to read up sports trivia so he could have something to talk about with other guys. He didn't have to force himself to go out and get dressed nicely just to put himself out there. He was just born tall, handsome and blue eyed.

Many of these kids were planned. Some were accidental though, yeah. I don't doubt some may regret not having kids, but there's also people who regret having them.

Let's take the example of one of my old childhood friends. His dad was/is an orthopedic surgeon. Super rich, had a wonderful daughter, and then had this kid. This kid had everything in the world, was super smart (but lazy), and was one of my best friends up through high school. But he found drugs, joined a gang, and absolutely threw his life down the shitter. They couldn't do anything to set him on the right path, and it tore the family apart. They got divorced, sold the nice house, and most of the surgeon's assets went to the mom. My "friend" now works part-time at Walgreens, barely scrapes by, and his brain is fried. The orthopedic surgeon? Never got to retire, lives in a one-bedroom apartment, he's still working to pay for his wife and try to keep his kid from dying in a gutter. Sure, his daughter is doing alright, but his son ruined his life.

You think he wouldn't take back having kids over the alternate universe where he's retired, living in a mansion, driving a Lambo to fancy social events, and banging hot young women?

This is the most beta shit I've ever read from a military man. Society doesn't really give a shit if you have a family - the the military is not society. Most of your fellow men are probably getting cheated on while on deployment, kiddo.

>I don't enjoy hanging out with my friends. And i have a lot of them
No, if you don't enjoy them, they aren't your friends, they are acquaintances. And if you can't enjoy the company of others, you have bigger problems than relationships. If you don't have anything to talk about with them, they aren't your friends. I never run out of shit to bullshit about with my pals. Many of them I have known for 20+ years, and I'm only 30. Many I've known for 15+ years. Some I've known for less. We all have an awesome time together.

The fact you have zero self-esteem is telling. It's why you get dumped, it's why no one wants to date a guy who doesn't like himself, and they don't want the pressure of being his parachute.

If you're reading up on sports trivia to have basic interactions, and can't dress yourself halfway capably on an average evening out, you may want to see if the doc can have you checked out for autism.

Time to grow a spine, soldier.

It definetely is a sad story, but that can't justify not attempting to start a family. It's the same as well, trying anything new. There is always the chance you will fail miserably, but not trying is even worse.

Especially for Europeans like me, we absolutely must have children. We are getting replaced by hordes of subhumans. The only thing we can do to fight this back is procreate. We will most probably fail, but at least we will die knowing we tried.

>ITT: OP makes it abundantly clear he's a stage 9 clinger but doesn't understand why that doesn't make panties drop
>Also featured: everyone who's happy is a cuck or a chad, no exceptions

If OP sucked dick as well as he sucks down the Kool-aid, he'd have a serious prospect with any guy he wanted.

I don't have a problem with talking with people. Usually when i go out i'm the one cracking jokes and making people laugh. Still, i don't know them for that long. I only have 2 real friends ( which i've known for 20 years +) .

I know i'm autistic. I can't do anything about it. I still managed to get a great job, so the autism doesn't matter that much.

And i never got the self esteem argument. Why should i have self esteem? There are tons of people, (not the cream of mankind like professional athetes or scientists) who are better than me or have something i want and i don't. And i only compare my self with them. If im in a room full of losers, why would i feel superior? I don't want to be compared to them.

I dress much better than most people around me (women say so), and i can have a conversation with anyone. Still, stuff that intrigues me is so autistic and inane that i just never mention it in convos and i've never found someone , especially female, to talk about it , nor do i expect to.

I don't really understand why you consider me a pussy. I'm just being brutally honest about my deepest emotions, thanks to the cover of the anonymity of this imageboard. It's not the image i project outwards. The last girl i dated firmly believed and still does that i'm some sort of chad, whenever i told her i lost my virginity at 25 she didn't even believe me.

It's a valid cautionary tale. But of course you're a "white is right" person who thinks shoving your white kid into a culture war is at all going to be positive for them.

Protip: a bunch of uneducated poorly raised white kids is no better than a bunch of uneducated poorly raised brown kids. They're all shit.

Self confidence doesn't mean you always think you're the best person in the world. I'm never going to be a 6'5 pro baseball player with an eight inch dick. Oh well. I am however a pretty smart dude with a sick marketing job, and pretty good looks. I might not be number one in every room, but I'm offering up some awesome shit. My confidence wavers from time to time, but never like yours.

Nothing wrong with exposing your deepest emotions, good on you for it. I'm just telling you they need to change or you're going to be perpetually unhappy.

If i have kids they aren't going to be uneducated. They might come out beta, gay or leftist but they won't be uneducated. I am way too studied for that to happen. Also you have no idea what subhuman means until you've met a child raping paki or a gypsy. Americans niggers are salveageable.

I just can't be happy with myself. I do get dopamine rushes from working out and playing videogames but it all crashes down as soon i as i hear my ex getting fucked next door or i see some bugman with a super sweet girl on facebook. It's the only things that bring me down. I don't care about people being richer or better looking than me , because i know i can attain these if i do certain actions. There is no algorithm to get a loving partner.

OP I can fix your problem, be humble and come to my post and I'll help you If you think you are superior or some other yada yada shit good luck at your umbral and your cursed life.

OP there are people who have literally nothing that are happy.

You can acquire all the money, status, power, material possessions, and even women in the world and still feel empty. If you can't feel happy without someone you will never be "truly" happy with someone. You're just chasing the "high" of having a new partner or the fantasy. What happens when reality sets in and the sex is over and it's just back to going to work and the mundane motions of life?

> I also can't stand the thought of people uglier/less succesful than me having sex

It's ironic that your pic is Buddha, but your ego and need for validation is so high. Dude just chill the fuck out. Who cares what other people are doing. There is always going to be someone better than you, richer, faster, smarter, etc. So what? Just go at your own pace and try to spend time doing something you actually enjoy with your life instead of bitching about not having a partner. You literally can live on the street with two pennies two your name and be happy; it's a mindset not an acquisition of items/social achievements.

I come from Because of your post

>Do even more shit to keep my mind busy?
No, it's clearly not working. I'd say the solution is doing something which is not normal for you. It may be go to comic-con (in case you are not into geek/nerdy stuff) or maybe you have to travel. Or you should try to stay alone in a forest and read some classic literature, like Dostoyevski, which is pretty insightful about human condition. It seems you lack self-awareness and introspection. But what you must do is break your current habits, do something really different from what your current self is.

I dont want that mindset. I had it when I was a neet and I was one for a long time. I feel like I threw my life away.

im going to bed now. you guys helped me a bit.

As someone said ITT, you should focus more on yourself and your passions than on finding a partner. Not saying you should reject every girl out of hand, of course you should keep looking but don't make it your sole goal in life.
People are drawn to other people because of self interest ie. they make them laugh/feel good and important/they're rich/feared/influential/good looking/etc. Girls are no different, it always comes down what you bring to the table so try bringing something else besides "i want someone to fuck and date because everybody is doing it".

Also, ease a bit on training if you see yourself getting overly consumed by emotions and relax a bit. Being stressed psychologically and adding a physical stress to the mix will make you feel like utter crap in the long run. Ease off now and then and see how you feel.

>How are people happy when they don't have someone else?
they're not

Good advice

>Why should i have self esteem?
Because it's your life. If you hate it so much and see no redemption, why don't you just lay down and die like the rest of your family? Seems like you feel a sudden rush of actual responsibility by everyone else in your family dying like dogs. You have bigger problems than women, buddy.

Also, there's a much, much better reason why you'll never be promoted than "I don't have a wife and kids". You're a snivelling bitch who can't do anything for himself. You shouldn't have kids because they would grow up with a weak, pathetic, failure of a father. Why do you act surprised your last relationships were all disasters with manipulative, cheating women, who used you? Because you're pathetic. No one wants to be around someone who constantly feels the need to be hypervalidated against everyone else.

Actual piece of advice: Fuck a man. Just go suck one of your buddies off. Forget all that nonsense about children or marriage or whatever else it was you're crying about. Just go make yourself useful to someone.

You probably do nogi. Switch to the gi, it's way richer and interesting, and will make you forget you don't have a GF.
That works for me : when I feel frustrated about my woman life I dive even more in BJJ, and forget about my problems

>Seems like you feel a sudden rush of actual responsibility by everyone else in your family dying like dogs.

First off , if you were near me i'd punch you because that's a cunt thing to say.

Second, this is the best advice ive read all thread.

I actually do gi only. It helps because i did judo for many years, im a noob in bjj.

This nigga speaks truth.

I don't need someone else to be happy. When you're already happy, people flock towards you. They want some of that reflected positive energy.

>empathy is equivalent to competence as a doctor