How bad am I and how can I make it better?

>7500+ Hours in Tf2
unfuckingbelievable
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I'm not proud of it, my friends are like dude this is why you have a problem.

How can I timestamp it?

Man, Chris Chan is the ultimate motivator for getting your life together, believe me. Just listen to his calls.

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I have always feared being like him, that's why I'm kind of freaking out, and even made the thread in the first place.

I got you beat man.

>28
>Haven't worked ever.
>No human interaction with anyone else but cashier and my grandma for around 1 year.
>Living alone, I never clean or do anything, I sleep most of the day. (The mold growing on my dirty dishes has mold.)
>Hardcore depression and social anxiety.
>Dropped out of college in the first week because I couldn't push myself to go, never tried again.
>Spent around 5 years hooked on heroin, kicked the habit because I hated my life, got sober and found out I hate my life still.
>No prospects, no money, the small inheritance I had is running out in like 2 months.
>Almost no family left, no friends.
>The only reason I don't kill myself is because I don't wan't my grandma to be alone in my funeral. The day she dies I'm shooting myself.

Sorry about the greentext, but seems to me you're on your way to become me and you don't want to feel like this man.
I spend all day switching from desperation about my life, regret, rage and sadness.

I used to think: I'll change tomorrow, I'll go to school again, I'll be closer to the people I liked, try hard to change, make friends, have a life.
But maybe you know how that goes, I never did any of that and now is too late.

Just start tomorrow, you already made a list of things that bother you, work on that.
Don't wait anymore, and fuck it, if you do leave it for later or just become satisfied with a lesser version of what you can be, just now where that road takes.
An empty house with no furniture, no joy, no love, no family and no one to talk to. Just a countdown until you can go without adding another regret to your conscience.

I hope you have the best life you can man.

I feel you bro. I hope shit gets better for you too, and hope you don't end up hurting yourself.

Sorry if that sounds like some half assed reply to you spilling your guts, but I wish the best for you and your family.

The fact that you are conscious of your faults already puts you ahead of him

Oh god, Im gonna be just like him surrounded with toys!

>7500 hours in TF2
Why would anyone want to put that amount of time into that game? I quit after 300 hrs before turning 20. It's the epitome of casual "babby's first FPS multiplayer game."

That's not useless, there are plenty of good careers which come from that. I'd pursue 1 of these if I were you:
>Animator
>App developer
>Broadcast engineer
>Broadcast presenter
>Cartographer
>Editorial assistant
>Film director
>Film/television/video producer
>Film/vid editor
>Games developer
>Geographical systems info officer
>Graphic designer
>Lighting technician
>Media planner
>Multimedia programmer
>Press photographer
>Print production planner
>Print-maker
>Radio broadcast assistant
>Sound technician
>Television camera operator
>Television floor manager
>Television production coordinator
>UX designer
>Web content manager
>Web designer
>Writer

Well, 75% of the time was on a 24/7 Harvest server and the other 25% was trading.

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I have been actively searching for stuff like this, but had no luck.

The best you can hope for is one off freelance work, buddy.

You'll never be that, user!

Then get another job till then.

Dude, it's never too late.
I got my life around after being in a situation like yours at 30.
I'm sure you've already read something like this before, but just do the small things, like doing the dishes more often, master one thing at a time.
Deciding to change tomorrow rarely works since it's impossible to change all at once. You will run out of energy and crash even harder.
Try to do things with the goal of having your life be in a better place in 3 years, accept that it will take that long, and that you seriously don't need to rush it, as long as you never stop. Have bad days where nothing is done, but pick yourself the fuck up and do the goddamn dishes.
The choice is between stagnating and being in an even worse place in 3 years, or start to make the effort now and someday be in a better place. It won't be perfect, but it will be BETTER. And after those 3 years, make a new goal for the next 3 years.

It's been hard, I'm closing in on 40 now (38), and I often feel bad about all of those years wasted, but for some that's the way it is. I'm just glad I did it when I did and not later. And I'm much MUCH happier now.

>25
I'm 27 and live with my parents so what.
>Haven't worked in 2 years
get a job doing anything.
>No gf
This isn't important right now.
>Living with parents
It's not 1950. Only the boomers were privileged enough to move out at 16.
>Anxiety to even leave my house
Fight it. Go to a coffee shop and do work. Go for a walk anything. At least once a week.
>Overweight
Stop wasting money on video games and put it into a personal trainer. Don't tell me you can't afford that or you're just bitching.
>Got a useless Degree
What is it? There must be something you can do with it. It's all about marketing/networking and thinking outside the box
>7500+ Hours in Tf2
Stop

That's not half assed man, thanks for taking to time to read it and being so nice.

Thanks a lot for writing this. I feel old and tired but maybe I'm not too old to give it shot.
What you said about setting long terms goals is something that I didn't think of. It sounds stupid as hell but because of the urgency I felt to change I always tried to change everything in one swing and that never worked.
Sorry for the short answer, got banned and my phone has the screen size of a flip phone and I take forever to type.
Your answer gave me hope, I'll try your method.
Honestly man, thanks a lot. I wish you the best.

I'll go clean my dishes now and then look at my options for work/college.
Again thanks to both of you, even if I can't change made me happy to have some hope for a change.

Happy I could help in any way.
I didn't read him before recently, but Jordan Peterson goes into a lot of similar ideas. His most recent book (12 Rules for Life) is really good at gaining some insight into why this works. I know it worked for me, but I didn't really think about why before I read that book.
If anything it should help with keeping up motivation.

/lit/ fag go away

>7500+ hours in Tf2
>Implying

Literally me.
>26
>never worked in my life
>never gf
>living with mom
>i can leave the house, but no reason to, ever
>overweight
>no degree
>8000+ hours in dota 2

Lemme tell you user, once you get to this age by doing nothing all your life, there's no turning back.

Why don't you wanna read user?

got PTSD from reading and my dad,maybe someday it might be a green text story.

I'd read it at the very least.

Haha, I mean TF2 is a F2P game and I've made most my value threw trades alone.