How bad am I and how can I make it better?

>7500+ Hours in Tf2
unfuckingbelievable
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I'm not proud of it, my friends are like dude this is why you have a problem.

How can I timestamp it?

Man, Chris Chan is the ultimate motivator for getting your life together, believe me. Just listen to his calls.

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I have always feared being like him, that's why I'm kind of freaking out, and even made the thread in the first place.

I got you beat man.

>28
>Haven't worked ever.
>No human interaction with anyone else but cashier and my grandma for around 1 year.
>Living alone, I never clean or do anything, I sleep most of the day. (The mold growing on my dirty dishes has mold.)
>Hardcore depression and social anxiety.
>Dropped out of college in the first week because I couldn't push myself to go, never tried again.
>Spent around 5 years hooked on heroin, kicked the habit because I hated my life, got sober and found out I hate my life still.
>No prospects, no money, the small inheritance I had is running out in like 2 months.
>Almost no family left, no friends.
>The only reason I don't kill myself is because I don't wan't my grandma to be alone in my funeral. The day she dies I'm shooting myself.

Sorry about the greentext, but seems to me you're on your way to become me and you don't want to feel like this man.
I spend all day switching from desperation about my life, regret, rage and sadness.

I used to think: I'll change tomorrow, I'll go to school again, I'll be closer to the people I liked, try hard to change, make friends, have a life.
But maybe you know how that goes, I never did any of that and now is too late.

Just start tomorrow, you already made a list of things that bother you, work on that.
Don't wait anymore, and fuck it, if you do leave it for later or just become satisfied with a lesser version of what you can be, just now where that road takes.
An empty house with no furniture, no joy, no love, no family and no one to talk to. Just a countdown until you can go without adding another regret to your conscience.

I hope you have the best life you can man.

I feel you bro. I hope shit gets better for you too, and hope you don't end up hurting yourself.

Sorry if that sounds like some half assed reply to you spilling your guts, but I wish the best for you and your family.

The fact that you are conscious of your faults already puts you ahead of him

Oh god, Im gonna be just like him surrounded with toys!