>am 29 >fall for 36 year old woman >work in same place >go see her a lot after work >get on super well, spend hours and hours talking >even stayed over in her place a few times >got advice from friend to play it cool and take it slow >solid, can do, keep building rapport >go abroad for a few days >come back and go out to bar woth her and other colleagues
This is the bad part
>asks table for smoke >sits with new guys, we all follow >gets called over by second table >she goes over and I cannot stop looking over >ohfuckmycomposureisbust.jpg >start ignoring table im at >she comes over and asks me to explain a game >rest of night good but feel like made myself obvious
I think i have become infatuated with her. Truth be told, I like her but I was playing it cool. I fucked up i feel by becoming triggered by her going to another group with other men.
But she did invite me over. I feel so conflicted. I should not feel like this and should let her socialise as she sees fit but goddamn I have fallen for her.
Practically, it is unlikely things will happen but our chemistry, sharing things personally and opening up, I dont want to lose it
But i am only human. Please give me advice. Should i now force myself to withdraw communication a bit?
Everyone in person has said take it slow and treat her as a friend and only a friend and let it develop naturally. I am following that but my feelings are becoming harder to hide.
Ayden Lopez
Last bump
Colton James
Don't shit where you eat. If you feel you must pursue this then you need to make your intentions known early on. You should know what kind of date she would like by now. Ask her out to something that matches her interests. If you have noticed she likes coffee that might be a good start.
Kevin Davis
Taking it slow DOES NOT mean not asking her out or making your intentions clear. If for this long you've only acted as a friend she might assume you don't like her romantically and has moved on. (if she liked you in the first place)
Dylan Jackson
I know. We hang out a lot during and after work. But I am so afraid fucking things up by rushing toake it official. I have no, ZERO, experience in this. I don't know what or how to execute this. I am given the theory but not the method.
How do I make my intentions clear without bombing the relationship we have or making things akward in work?
Ryder Turner
Relax brother. We all start out with zero experience. Never trying is scarier than trying and failing. You literally just have to ask her if she would like to go somewhere with you. It's that simple. If she is interested she will say yes. If not then you are in the same position you started off in. Your ego might be a bit bruised, sure, but you gain experience. You might go on a date with her and realize you aren't even compatible. That's why dating is so important. It gets you used to talking with women and you find out if things can work between you. Dr. Jordan Peterson's lectures on youtube might be of some use to you.
Chase Campbell
I have watched him. Here is the thing. We have gone for dinner, she brought me to her place to watch movies. She has come out of the shower only in a towel evety time i stayed over (3). I plan to show her around a nice place at night and eat soon.
We talked until early hours of the morning. We actually have talked very very personally together. There are positive signs ive just not labelled it is all.
Parker Wright
Continuedi got so damn jealous today when she was with the other men. So jealous. But on the other hand I know i shouldnt feel like it. Its immature. But yet ive never got on so well with...anyone. Full stop. She is lovely and we have opened up so much.
Yet she invited me over to the new table and we were together. But im also 29 and on here so put 1+1 together how socially aptitude i am.
Jeremiah Torres
Ask her the fuck out and DTR, or don't and just keep things going and maybe eventually she will DTR
Adrian Green
DTR?
Nicholas Watson
Define the relationship you mong
Or since you see relationships as a game of cat and mouse just kys
Jace Cox
>went to her house >didnt fuck her Your parents should be ashamed of you
Gabriel Ward
Its not cat and mouse just i got no experience. None.
Well we will be watching a movie in her room so that is something.
Thomas Brooks
I've had the same situation happen with a girl I was solidly friends with and it even made me question what she was looking for.
What type of guys has she dated in the past?
James Ortiz
shes probably teasing you lol, talk to her about how you feel for her, she seems interested i think... i mean why let you sleep in her house... she might even be dissappointef you didnt fuck her... just talk to her to get a solid answear instead of trying to guess wtf she thinks..gl
Connor Morgan
One was long term. 15 years. Was in a band together. She rebound and fell in love with another guy but found out he was married after his wife texted her. Got a rough ass deal.
Julian Sullivan
An update but tonight I did not stay at her place but we watched a movie and chatted. She asked me about my other friends which I assume is cause I have hung with her so often consecutively.
Tonight I came very close to coughing up that I liked her but my current advice not to make it official or rush things kicked in and I did not say it. We also work in the same office so I am not sure risking a rejection woukd be worth making it more awkward.
I have dinner with her tomorrow. How should I do this?
John Howard
Listen man. If you keep waiting for the right time shes gonna slip on by, then you'll realize how many perfect opportunities there really were. Man the fuck up and tell her how you feel. Dont confess your love or anything like that because if she doesnt feel the same, THAT would make things awkward. I'd just casually tell her how you feel and try not to expect anything. If you say you like her and she doesnt, that can change later on if you really like the chick and are just cool with her.
Camden Mitchell
>am 29 >fall for 36 year old woman I don't understand why this hasn't been mentioned yet on this thread. What is it you're looking for in this woman?
Do you just wanna get laid? Then sure, you can have some fun with her. Are you looking for a committed relationship? In that case i would ask you why you're even interested in a 36 year old woman. She's hit the wall and past her prime. If you're gonna date this woman seriously you'll be scraping from the bottom of whatever is left of her as a mate.
Jose Martin
We get on really, really well and I love her company. She loves video games and so do i. She is also Asian like me. I like her a lot.
How should I say it? "I like you"?
Thomas Nguyen
Bump
Jaxson Butler
She's 36, she doesn't have much time to take it slow if she wants a family. I say go for it, if you don't mind the age difference. My brother and his wife have a similar gap with her being older and they're doing fine. Have two great kids.
Jaxson Rodriguez
Here is the thing user. How do I go for it? Should I continue taking it slow or make my feelings clear?
Oliver Johnson
Bump
Nathaniel Thomas
Bump
Nicholas Thomas
I think you should make it clear that you are interested.
Andrew Russell
user. I need you to understand. You are basically talking to someone who has never flied a plane, to fly a plane.
I need babysteps, primarily how to do it casually without coming off as desperate and nuking the relationship we currently have.
William Fisher
Not nuking the relationship*
Grayson Reed
"Do you want to make this official?"
Caleb Taylor
I suppose for added context: this woman is WAY out of my league.
A genuine sexy, gorgous asian woman with a body to die for. She gets a LOT of positive attention from guys. After the incident at the bar, ive become fearful . I am in contrast, a dork. Video games, small and built like a wire. Why i am here asking.
However one advice i got from one friend was
>She is out if your league >Act like you dont care >Play the "long" game >Don't drop the question unless you are on fire >Let her own social pattern with others dictate the "result" if she is into me.
Ahe also just moved here 2 weeks ago, 90% of that was spent with me. Today she has put our next time together on the long thumb, but i think we both kind of feel she also just wants to meet new people.
So that is the full scope of the situation.
Thanks user. But how does "I'd be interested in getting to know you more, do you feel the same?"
