How do you stop comparing yourself to others?
How do you stop comparing yourself to others?
When you get a little resect for yourself
remember that your life is specifically for you. your path is 100% unique and belongs only to you. if you work on you more than observing others, you'll be your best self without regard for what others have. also, people always seem to "have it all" and then you get close enough to them and learn that they are also miserable just like everyone else.
by posting more of that delicious fucksack
Stop giving a fuck you pussy ass bitch you think those people give a fuck about you?
Start comparing yourself today to yourself in the past instead
well you can't, we are social animals and will always find or place among the others (hierarchy).
But this is something normal and not bad. What you should do is try to be the best and healthiest you can be.
You don’t. Even people who say they don’t care compare themselves to you seeking to be impressive to others.
Best thing to do is keep grinding and getting better so less and less people are above you.
You can’t cut it out entirely and even if you did it would probably mean you had ceased to be human. Best you can do is to not obsess over comparison and to use comparison as a motivating force. Don’t allow yourself to engage in destructive ideation like “this person has it so good I’ll never have it as good as they do I’m worthless” instead go for “this person is doing x differently to me and it looks like it’s working for them, maybe I can learn from this and adapt it to my own life”
It doesn't really matter.
You could decide that you'll never do it again.
You might even live up to that promise.
But the people you meet haven't made it.
So you'll be compared to others by others, time and time again, and this seems to be something you can't change.
Good show for self-esteem, though.
Bully for that.
You don't have to answer to anyone.
Except literally everyone else who asks you a question.
We all fucking suck and we're all fucking awesome.
the psychologist told me it was a stage of growing up. First, you compare yourself with everyone else, and then you contrast yourself with everyone else.
Work on yourself, find a hobby that you really like and develop in it. You're gonna stop comparing yourself to others, start paying more attention to yourself than to others.
I think they were referring to Lawrence Kohlberg's "Stages of Moral Development."
See now, the problem isn't that those who struggle with comparing themselves to others have personal growth issues.
It's that literally they're being compared to other people by other people who have more power than they do.
You can be the most Zen mutherfucker on the planet, but it doesn't mean that anyone gives a shit about how little you compare yourself to other people.
In fact, if you think everything you do is just the bee's knees, well, most folks would find that pretty annoying, even though you're not comparing yourself to anyone.
And they're not wrong.
I mean, most people seem to feel like a piece of shit compared to the ideals they have about what they think they should be like, and that's terrible.
But like, who actually is like who you should be like?
You're just you, and there's not a lot you can do about it, and you fucking suck compared to others in terms of some things, and you fucking rock compared to others in terms of some things.
That's just life, and deluding ourselves about what we suck and rock at isn't going to help anybody.
So do what you're best at.
Go ahead and play at what you love doing, too, but if it's not something you have natural talent in, then that's when you'll want to turn on the not-comparing-yourself-to-others knob.
This whole thing is so much more complicated that it seems.
I'm not that great at figuring out what's complicated and what's not, though, so I try and remind myself that what's complicated for me might not be for others, because I can't really compare myself to them.
How can I have respect for myself when I'm under the curve and therefore know I am inferior?
The last time I had respect for myself is when I thought I was smart, but I squandered that and now I have nothing.
>Still short (but everyone around me has grown)
>Full time job
>Far less free time to improve self in any kind of way because of thos factor.
By getting a lobotomy
Don't stop comparing yourself to others just make yourself better so that you feel good when comparing
You look at yourself and think
“Yup this is what I got” and then you just live. I know it’s a lot easier said then done
See, I used to think this... Then I started to actually have to leave my house and I realized I literally lack all the features that make a man attractive.
Compare THEM to YOU.
That is, start measuring others by how they live up to things that are positive about you.
You've got some really good advice from mostly every reply in this thread OP, I've learned quite a few things from these replies. I think ultimately this is the only way to proactively push back against all the other people pushing their ego onto you. What I mean by this is that (in my personal experience) many people I've come across act this way towards me, me being someone who is pretty low on the 'hierarchy' of life. If someone did something that I haven't done then I tend to notice they bring it up a bunch, also important to note is they don't bring these things up among people who have done those specific things. Just a little example - I've never held or fired a gun, but one guy I used to talk to had done so, and by god did he ever bring that up at every opportunity, I live in the UK too so it's somewhat rare here. Another example, I started working late-ish in my life, 22, and even though I rarely mention that to people I've had to listen to countless people mentally masturbating about how they started working at 20, 16, etc etc - the kind of thing that most normal people would be like "eh? so what?" at, but I present them an opportunity to feel better about themselves through comparison, so they naturally jump at the chance. It's just the way everyone seems to operate, find weak points in others and then favourably compare as hard as possible. I believe this is really the core of the whole comparison issue, that it is foisted upon us by others, rather than it being something I beat myself up over. Just my long-winded 2 cents
Also as a bunch of people have pointed out here, it's a really complicated set of circumstances, plus be aware that many people embellish or flat out lie about their achivements and accomplishments
Just give up and drop out of the rat race entirely. We only have 50 years left anyway and after 30 years we will all be old and worthless no matter our achievements and abilities. Just try and go through life as stress free as possible and laugh at others working hard like zombies in the rat race who will drop dead in 50 years anyway.
not OP, but i really appreciated this response, user.
Deep down, I know I'm better than them so I don't need to compare.
Deep down I know I am them so there's nothing to compare.
Isolating yourself and not having any friends could do the trick. Comparing yourself to others sounds like a better option in comparison.
based and evangelionpilled
Damn is that the onbrokenwings girl?
As for comparing yourself: consider that everyone shows you their best face and many of the most successful seeming people are batshit crazy and deeply miserable. You have nothing to be jealous of. The strivers often live unhappy lives. Keep yours simple and do not be swayed by social competition
When you realize the only reason you get hurt when you compare yourself to others is because you believe other people implicitly have value. Apply that same reasoning to yourself, you have value too just like other people.
but user, I have a lot of insecurites, I don't really think I have a lot of value
by realizing their minds are just if not more mundane than yours
That doesn't mean you don't have value. You exist that means you have value. It doesn't matter what anyone else tells you.
but I see all my friends happy having a goot time, getting to know other dudes, hooking up with girls just because they're handsome, that's brings me down, I also don't have the best personality you can say.
I know how you feel trust me but try to ask yourself why your friends are like that but you aren't. And why you have the beliefs that you do. It's not because you have a bad personality or your ugly or any of that. Really ask yourself the hard to ask questions like whether you had a good childhood or not. Whether your parents were actually good to you or if they hurt you. Don't ask what is wrong with you, all you need to do is try to be a good person and have empathy then you don't have to worry about what is wrong with you anymore.
I had a normal childhood, but I want to do the same as my friends, have fun when going out, chatting with randoms, or hook up with girls, but I'm too scared to do any of that I just can't get mysel to
I only care about living for my values.
It doesn't matter what others are doing because I'm the exact kind of person I want to be
If you really didn't have anything bad happen to you as a child that's sadly not a normal childhood. It doesn't have to be childhood though, even if you were bullied in high school it still effects you. I'm sure you aren't scared for no reason.
I got a bit bullied, but I ended up beating them in fist fights, I started being like this when I meet those friends I mention before, I guess I'm just and avoidant person.
i swear being short is a death sentence
Is that motherfucking Pvt. Ketchum?
Thanks user, I really needed that :)
That sucks user. Well you didn't deserve it and don't deserve it now. When you are out with people just try to talk about something. Even if you feel embarassed you will come out fine. Just beat up the self hate like you did with your bullies.
Thanks for the help user, really appreciate it
No worries. Glad to hear I was helpful.
come on man I NEED more of that demen semon
Either get plastic surgery. Or live with it man. Some people are just not meant to be goodlooking. Work hard make cash be confidant and you will get a woman
You'll do that to some extent, it's wired in our biology for competitive related reasons. You'll feel these things OP, it's all a matter of how you deal with your feelings, what goes on in your mind, and why. Why do you want the things someone else has. Materialism alone shouldn't mean that much, abilities on the other hand I can understand but what I said stands.
post more of her or your mother will die in her sleep
Just don't let people make you so envious