I want to die without committing suicide...

>way of getting cancer intentionally.
Asbestos. They used to use it in paint. Your best bet would be to find a really old abandoned house (I don't know how old but you could google it) that still has its original paint and start eating paint chips.

Also, assuming you're white, you could try to get skin cancer through sun exposure. This would be uncomfortable though as you'd get really sunburnt and it might take years to develop.

worst post you have ever made

I've had ego death. What do you know about it? You're still alive. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. High dose. White light. Ego gone.

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Bump

My sister shot her chest out with a shotgun over a year ago.

She had been kidnapped and trafficked for a few months. She was not in a good way.

Even though we argued a lot, I miss her. That was not a good week.

You're going to hurt your family if you die dumbass.

Lots of ways to live your life. Go parachuting or hang gliding or go to a 6 flags. Scare some sense into yourself.

I just spent a week vacationing with my mother who I love, but I still just want to stop existing

Haha. Gay

To talk to a therapist then. You have a deep psychological issue we can't solve for you.

You've got how many years ahead of you? How do you fill them with something worthwhile?

Being a married parent of multiple children is a fucking nightmare without serious social support and a solid career