/fph/ /fps/ thread
Let's get it boys! Post some deluded fatties
/fph/ /fps/
Jaxson Lopez
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Caleb Gonzalez
Nice thread op.
Grayson Rivera
wow
this
at least dump some shit
Christopher Jones
>trying to buy coffee at the nearest Starbucks
>one of my bros actually works there, so I usually don't have to say that I want no cream or want soy milk
>already near lunch time, so I'm stuck in the middle of a long ass line
>hear some sort of commotion at the back of the line
>fat chick, easily 300lbs, 5'2 or less, wearing a bright pink tent is standing there
>She's standing 5 steps away from the start of the line railing and the last person in line, but she is so fat she is blocking the area between the closest table and a pillar, preventing the other customers from lining up
>girl behind her is asking her to move, her voice loud enough to turn a few heads.
>fatass doesn't even seem to hear her. Realize that this probably isn't the first time she has been asked to move
>girl places her hand on the fat chick's shoulder, then repeats herself
>fatass turns her head around to face the girl, with this look of disgust on her face as if she stepped on dog shit.
>after a few seconds of just staring, she turns back without a word and moves the railing on her right to create some space for herself and make room to let the others pass.
>or so I thought. After moving the railings, she directly proceeds to the counter, cutting off at least 10 people on line.
>the railing ends at the counter, so she just moves the post and tries to squeeze in between the first ordering customer and the next person in line
>being so fat, she can't help but comically bump the two guys. Both betas don't say anything
>girl behind the counter looks stunned "Um, ma'am, can I help you?"
>bitch actually points to one of the items in display "I'll have two of those donuts..."
>"I'm sorry ma'am, but you'll have to line up first."
>"I can't fit between the railings," which is true, even if the space between them can fit two normal sized humans "...so you'll have to serve me first."
>starbucks girl is speechless. Bro eventually notices something is wrong and makes his way to the counter
1/2
Bentley Rivera
>"Do you need anything miss?"
>"Yeah. I'll have two of those glazed dounts, and..."
>beta customer, the one who was already ordering, decides to speak up. "Actually, I already ordered mine, so can I just pay first?"
>fatass turns her head slowly to face him. I couldn't see her face, but I'd assume that she looked pissed.
>statbucks girl is whispering something to my bro, then he saves the customer from getting eaten "Miss, you'lll have to wait your turn."
>"But I already told her, I can't fit there!"
>"We can space them out so you can be more comfortable"
>fatass stares at him for 10 seconds, before turning around and heading for the exit.
I think she was more embarrased than mad in the end.
2/2
Zachary Rivera
>at Walmart
>scooterfats errywhere
>no more scooters for actual disabled people
>suddenly a wild snorlax appears
>already sweating mayonnaise after walk from car
>no more scooters
>hambeast has shitfit because she has to walk more
>mayonnaise flies all over the greeters as ambulocetus flails around and cries about bad knees
>a kindly old veteran appears.
>He has only one leg, but manages to walk ok with a cane.
>slips on mayonnaise and falls
>greeters proceed to ignore hambeast and get a scooter for the veteran
>hambeast starts screaming about unfairness
>tries to hit the greeters
>takes a swing, slips on own mayonnaise and falls to the floor
>police arrive and arrest the flailing greasepile
>mfw they search her and find an open jar of mayo and four kilos of chicken wings
Oliver Martin
This guy wasn't my patient but I was working the floor
>working on a unit that was short staffed for the night
>ham beast decided to take his own life and kill himself via a cocktail of meds that would have put a fucking rhino down.
>God has a twisted sense of humor. This 400 pound sack of shit still lives albeit with so many tubes going into him he is more hospital equipment then a person.
>respiratory bros come up to see how the breathing tube is working out and they come out pale. Like sheet white.
> the smell from the guys breathe was fucking horrible.
>Me and his nurse who is like 5ft3 go in to check out what's going on
>it's a rotting smell like that kind of sweet musky meat smell, like road kill.
> I mask up, gloves a gown and she does the same.
>this tiny, ballsy nurse who is acting like it doesn't smell at all finds the source
>there is a fungal growth on his molar. The combo of o2, warmth, and darkness made it grow. I leave almost vomiting.
>specialist came in first thing in the morning and yanked it although the dude was most likely going to die. He said if it weren't for the drying effect the o2 had it would have been so much worst and there is no way he could have picked it up in transit to the hospital or in it itself.
>fat guy has a fungal growth in his fucking tooth.
>every time me and that nurse see each other she chuckles.
Fat people have no hygiene
John Ortiz
>doing report on a computer with 2 of my co-workers doing the same. Coworker 2 gets up to get a coffee
>call button goes off for some junkie trailer trash who's in for the flu cause the only time she uses a needle it's for heroin
>360lbs women informs me she needs graham crackers because at 5:00am, why the fuck not.
>coworker #1 goes and gets her 2 packs and gives her the "sleep= recover" speech but this bitch hears what she wants.
>coworker 1 returns with her coffee and asks where 2 is and I inform her.
>she kind of scoff's and justifiably shakes her head.
>co workers 1&2 are back by the desk and we hear the trusty bed alarm go off.
> I go to investigate and find she opened up her giant leather purse and is eating pudding cups produced from said purse with graham crackers as the spoon.
>"fatty what are you doing?"
>"it makes my throat feel better."
Fuck this planet
Adrian Wilson
> go into work a little early and the person I'm replacing on my unit looks pissed
> find out that the parents of a patient called the hospital and reported her for misconduct.
> the patient is a huge 34 year old man who still lives with his parents and is in the hospital for chest pain. After the ER cleared him to go up to my unit his food/fluid restrictions were lifted just until the docs could get in there and see wtf is going on.
> nurse told the patient this and he phoned his parents to bring him something that wasn't hospital food.
> when the nurse discovered 4 bags of McDonald's she said that wasn't allowed.
>hamplanets parents called and reported her
>doctors were pissed they had to specify you can't eat 15 pounds of mcdonalds
>fuck this place
Adrian Jones
>working in the hospital
>hear patients bed alarm go off, we keep those on crazies or confused patients bed for such an event
>paitent is a Hambeast, easily 400lbs
>"why are you getting out of bed fatty?"
>"user I HATE WATER, I HATE IT!"
>"We'll you can't get up, you can support yourself and you can only have clear liquids"
>"Coke-cola is clear, go get me one"
>"fatty no that dosent count as clear, only water"
>by this time my co workers can hear her with a mix of amusement and disgust as she begins to do that bullshit fake cry
>"user water gives me heartburn!"
Hospitals have given me so many FPS and I'm not a better person for it...