>high school >head computer guy is pretty fat, he was supposedly in the SAS and broke a leg when his parachute fucked, thus was honorably discharged >one day some abos break into the school and steal some bags >computer guy sees it >gets a kid to call the police >immediately chases after abo kids >no joke, this guy is at least 120kg >pulls himself/leaps over the school fence like it ain't no thang (it's about 2.3 metres high) >catches up to the abo kids in seconds >one of them pulls a knife on him >slaps it away like it ain't no thang >manages to grab both the abo kids and SITS ON THEM until the police arrive
>Work at mcdonalds >running front register >2 hobo lookin landwhales walk in >5 feet from counter and i recieve an onslaught of piss smell mixed with odor of rancid rot >Near pass out >Says they will take it light today >orders 10 burgers >brags how they came in and ordered 100 burgers once
>be college >adolescent psychology class >get to class, start reading book >smell a smell, a smelly smell >can't pin point it >group assignment comes up >turn around because I'm paired up with the row behind me >black landwhale brought a box of 6 piece fried chicken into class >wat? Talking to her equally as large friend next to her how she feels guilty that people have to watch her eat this delicious meal.
>mfw it's only the second day of this shit
>another group assignment, same groups >turn around and start writing in my notebook what needs to be done >same girl whips out a bag of chips >Sun Chips >bag explodes and crumbs rain all over me >"I'm so sorry" >as she eats them, starts telling the group how healthy these chips are because they're whole grain all the way through the chip, not just a small part >end me
>go to America for conference >last day i go to am American super market >wow, the aisles are so wide here! >they sell everything in one place! >scooters everywhere >people on them so fat they take up half the lane >three coming towards me >one honks at me >"Do you want something" >"move it foreigner!" >press myself againt the aisle >one of them rolls over both my feet anyway >"ARRRRRGH" >"Watch it skinny!" >I collapse on the floor >"Always give way to scooters kid, we have right of way in this country!" >guy in vest comes running over as i am still screaming >calls for ambulance and police to be called over a radio >see coppers arrest one of the riders at the gates, they are going nuts over how they have right of way because they are disabled, and the guy she hit wasn't even an American >mfw i realize it was a family of three, all on scooters >friend i am there with gets me away from the ambos before i am loaded into the van >feet hurt so fucking much >tells me that under no circumstances am i to go to the hospital here >takes me to airport and fills me with painkillers >get home after long flight, out of it most of the time >paramedics waiting at the airport in Melbourne >8 fractures across both feet, three in one 5 in the other >mfw in a wheelchair and refused to use a mobility scooter when one was offered
