One way may be to be completely focused on getting what you want, you are expectant, wholly invested in getting what you desire. Go about it like this and you could be said to be attached. By being attached, throughout the entire pursuit of your goal you may be quite stressed, because you will feel you HAVE to work as hard as you can because if you don't, you won't get what you want, so there's that feeling of desperation, you don't want to not get what you are expecting to get. This line of thought arises from being too attached to the outcome. You may get what you want, which feels great, but getting there was pretty intense. Or you may not get what you want, and you'll be crushed, because you were so invested in getting what you wanted and after all that anticipation, that thing you were completely attached got away form you.
Compare this to pursuing what you want with a detached attitude. You know what you desire, you know the outcome you desire, and you choose to pursue said desire. Do this with a more detached attitude, and while working towards it, it's more like "I'd like to get this thing I want very much, it will be great if I do get it, but I know that the outcome isn't completely in my control, and if I don't get it, that fine, life will go on, there will be more opportunities out there, and I can keep trying if I decide". This completely shifts your frame of mind, if you get it, great, it'd what you wanted, however if you don't, you weren't completely dependant on the outcome anyway, you know life will go on, there will be more opportunities, and you'll be fine no matter what.
Juan Jenkins
But how many of your fathers fathers fathers uncles died in war or were incels.
Joseph Sanders
I would probably still be a virgin if I wasn't literally hunted down through twitter and met my long distance ex that way But that was at 20. I could've easily stayed a virgin until now but honestly don't mind it so much. If you're presumably fit, then you only really need a good outlook on life and eventually you'll find someone who likes you. Sex is a side effect of gelling with people
Jonathan Baker
I was a virgin all through university and really beat myself up about it. Then within a few years of graduating I had several sexual experiences under my belt including losing my virginity.
My theory is that in many senses university isn't the uninhibited fuckfest it's portrayed in movies, but actually it's even more of a sausagefest than the rest of life. There are women but there's also lots of competition - and the bitches know they're in demand and can be selective as all hell.
Use uni as a chance to experiment a bit in the knowledge that in 3 years or less, you don't have to see any of those people again if you don't want. But chances are you'll have much more luck outside of uni with co-workers, women outside of your age group, outside of your social class and education level, etc.
There's plenty of fish in the sea but school/uni is more like a small pond.
Jordan Martinez
This is kind of true. With enough confirming instances you can become an expert at failing. If that's the case you're probably being too passive and not really exploring what went wrong, why, and how can you do better next time. There's a reason for everything, even if that reason is something out of direct control.
Charles White
I was a virgin until 21. Only slept with one girl until around 24. At 29 I have slept with over 20 (I've lost exact count at this point). 6 this year alone.
Been lifting for 2 years now. Some of these girls send me sexy nudes randomly, feelsgoodman.jpg.
You still have time to make it anons.
Jace Smith
incels.me
Oliver Lopez
Is one considered an incel if you don't try?
30 HHKV, never bothered to get a GF. I don't know why, but Ive just never felt like I could compete with other guys, so I just never bothered. Been working on myself trying to improve my self esteem over the last decade but I still dont have enough self esteem to try get a GF.
I'm at a point where I just ignore everyone and am pretty much a shut-in hermit outside of lifting weights. I think I am also afraid of what having a GF would do to my life, I feel so comfortable without one, and it seems like having a woman in my life would bring a shit load of stress, doesn't seem worth it just for sex, then again I've never had sex so I can't really know what I am missing out on. It is really that great that people are willing to sacrifice all their life for? I mean, I like spending time by myself, having other people around annoys me, I dont feel comfortable and relaxed unless I am 100% alone. Wouldnt have a GF shatter that completely and make me feel miserable all the time?
Benjamin Sullivan
Incel is a label, a judgement, it's not a fact. It's a fact that a person may have never had sex, or that they may never have had a girlfriend. To refer to a person with such circumstances as an "incel" is a judgement based on those circumstances, a negative one. You can refer to yourself as an incel. You can call other incels. You can take it personally it when other's call you can incel, or you can let them say it and just let it go.
>Is one considered an incel if you don't try?
Some will say yes, some will say no, some will give an answer in between. What do you think? Who's judgement to you trust more, a mass of people online who likely care little for you and your personal circumstances, or do you trust yourself, the one person that can always be on your side, if you choose to take your own side, that is.
Daniel Price
Weird triplepost but man a girlfriend is not a "thing" and people need to stop seeing at as a thing, a trophy or an object. I know you probably didn't mean it that way but a girlfriend is just a person you're attracted to and that you enjoy spending your time with to the point that you want to be with that person a lot. Don't get a girlfriend for the sake of a girlfriend, get a girlfriend because it's a person you really like and who makes you feel good.
