Church chad

Figure I would pass this along to Jow Forums bros.

> 38 years old.
> Wife died 7 years ago. Got depressed and fat as fuck.
> Got back in shape over course of last two years. 6'2" 210lbs with visible abs. Did a fuck ton of olympic lifts and squatting.
> Not a body builder body, just now look like a fucking lumber jack.
> Haven't fucked anyone since wife.
> Have trouble figuring out what to do as an old fuck and I travel a fuck ton for work.
> Live in city with a bunch of big churches even though I could give fuck all about religion.
> Go to church dressed casual as fuck but with well fitting jeans to show off them quad and glute gains, button up shirt and my nicest boots.
> Singles bible class. All the other guys wearing shit fitting suits.
> Group leader asks me to introduce myself and asks me a few questions.
> I straight up tell them that I haven't gone to Church since I was a kid, that I work a ton, "fell away" from God, and just wanted to see if it had anything to offer now.
> Women in the class instantly all over me.
> The tame the beast BS is real.
> Most people are pretty cool but dorks. I intentionally let out a few mild curse words and apologize.
> Girls get even wetter.
> 3 weeks later I'm banging a cute 29 year old.
> Start doing this in all the cities I travel for work.
> It's a god damn gold mine.
> 6 months of visiting churches and openly telling them I'm an asshole who hasn't gone to church in forever and I've had sex with 7 different women. Yeah I know it's not impressive for some young guns out there but for a dude my age it's nice.

So yeah get in shape and then go to church as a person who doesn't care about church = instant chad status. I could only imagine how easily some dude with an 8/10 face would do (I'm probably a 6/10 on a good day).

Attached: HotChurch.jpg (2000x1333, 346K)

Other urls found in this thread:

iep.utm.edu/middlekn/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I intend to do this but mention my past of heavy drinking and drug use but wanting to get my life back on track. Thanks for the inspo cunt

You know that somebody is watching, user. And he probably won't like what you've been up to :/

God probably doesn't like anything about me. Why should I care?

Sounds like he's just exposing the fornicators at these churches that they aren't as devout as they might think. He might end up burning in hellfire but so will all those women and that sounds like a deal this guy can get behind

That would probably work great. I know that if I mentioned my wife dying it would be even easier but I'm a faggot who seriously loved her so could never bring myself to do it.

I work a pretty manly profession though that is known as having some wild rough dudes so I think that definitely helps seal the deal. I've never used drugs and only rarely drink but the association with the job is probably strong enough to spark their fantasies that I'm some sort of "wild" and "tough" man who needs to be tamed.

>I'm a faggot who seriously loved her so could never bring myself to do it.
Respect for that bro.

I'm in the process of joining the infantry and barring some medical issue I don't even know about it should be a done deal at this point. Sounds like your reality is my future soon.

You know it's funny, a couple years ago I actually stopped going to my church because I knew something like this was going on. There were about 3-4 guys in the church who every woman wanted to be with/fuck. The thirst was so fucking apparent to anyone with a shred of social cues but this was church so no one acknowledged those cues or legitimately didn't catch them. 2 of those guys were in leadership there and I have no doubt they were cleaning up the pussy left and right.

That was back when I actually gave a shit about respecting women. That and my own success with learning how to seduce women taught me that women are inherently attracted to depravity/"sin" (badboy stereotypes no matter where they are.) and addicted to their own redemption arc afterward; and that's not just tied to a religious context either. Something about church/jeezus really tickles their pickle though.

I unironically learned how to seduce women by watching all the hypocrites at my old church.

Of course we want to know your job now faggot.

What's the job user?

Repent and you will be forgiven of all by God.
The wages of sin is death user. You're covering the sadness and loss of your wife with hollow flings in a disingenuous and deceitful way. You're trying to fill a hole with immoral material acts. Turn to Christ and bare your soul Brother.

I'm not wife loss user, I'm childhood abuse, heavy drinking and drugs user.

church thots are the worst; they're so hypocritical

at least party thots dont try to hide it as much

As someone who never really got along with his parents/not a great childhood (very few friends and my parents didnt encourage me to be socially and physically active, like they now do with my younger brothers), don't turn to substances. They ruin gains and will get you in trouble

i got arrested for drug possession because id smoke pot all the time to escape the shitty reality of life

I work on oil rigs.

I dont doubt this at all. But imo not worth it listening to religious nonsense. Stick to tinder/bumble.

lol Jewish fan fiction is the only truth, everything else is false especially all those European "myths" what a bunch of faggots

Probably one of those bullshit church youth groups full of transparent con artist bull shitters and reformed sluts that put up their best good girl faces but have the eyes of an exhausted cc rider. You all know that sheepish tired look from a single mother when she tries smiling.

I've already had numerous run-ins with the police, probably nearly 10. Multiple move-on orders, been taken away in a car, etc. I don't drink or do drugs anymore but nothing would have stopped me 3-4 years ago. Now I'm back into lifting after becoming a fat cunt from so much alcohol. Currently at 1/2/2/3. Squats suck forever.

You're right though, substance abuse is retarded but simply saying that isn't going to stop people, they need to learn for themselves. Unfortunately, some people will never learn.

Can confirm, used to be forced to go to church and it was well known my dislike of it. Pierced my face a couple times and was the only non dweeb in there. It actually made a Mormon girl who was questioning her faith hook up w me a few times.

Haha, nice bro. Here's what i do
>go to aa meetings
>pretend to be sober
>look semi health from steroids
>fuck new comers on the reg

They're just so trusting when you relapse with them, theyll do anything, everytime.

Attached: vr64lg6lk6111.jpg (707x768, 103K)

Wait Nevermind I thought you were church chad user forget what I said about liking you

Do you fit in with any of those descriptions user?

Was thinking this the whole time

I used to: alcoholic and drug user. I may tell white lies occasionally but I never lie for personal gain and I've never cheated. Two things I'm proud of I guess.

seems like a bad idea.

sounds like some insane moron at one of my parents old church. was a dork in high school then became an adult and joined church leadership. then got sent to jail for sending sexual explicit texts to teen girls

I do know for a fact that those 4 guys are no longer at that church, though I do not know the details.

Social dynamics be everywhere

Sounds like you had an internal change without changing your external environment.

My suggestion would be to move/change jobs/stop seeing friends/make new friends in the general direction you would like to see your life going.

Some of those are easier than others. Some of those are harder than others. The easier options leave room to come back, the harder options leave less room to backtrack. You could even think of new ways to change your external world to reflect your internal changes; something like packing up memories of the old friends and putting them away or buying yourself some new clothes. The clothes bit actually helped me at one point in life when I was changing who I was hanging out with, it was a surprisingly positive mental boost.

If you do not do anything in your surroundings to manifest your internal changes/desire then the change was meaningless.

Boiled down: Figure out an action to do and do it in the direction you need to go. A very easy formula to apply to almost any situation.

Attached: 2856595455274b34b51ac518116f988c84c7de7fc49ace35bc3b00a1d59e39f4.jpg (3564x2097, 1.82M)

I'm poor as fuck, sold my car to support my fiancee and I who ended up cheating on me, had to move back home afterwards, etc. etc. So I've decided to join the military. They'll relocate me and pay me so I'll be able to leave this place behind. Thanks for the advice tho user, you're a good guy.

Live a good life, if there are gods and they are just, they won’t care how devout you’ve been but will welcome you based on your virtues.

>somebody is watching
>tfw you just cucked god

Attached: 1527499200953.png (733x544, 391K)

is that a vape?

Nice midlife crisis.

Damn OP. Good for you I guess. 7 years is a pretty long time. Especially when time is late and counting down on you. Sorry about your wife too.

Surprised you're even on Jow Forums to be honest. I guess you just on here to subtle brag. Which you're entitled too because what tour doing is pretty fun.

Just be careful not to get caught up in it all too much. In these church groups you stand stronger among weak people. People who open thier arms to you. Don't use your position to take advantage of them. Your not entitled to do that, no matter how many years. Or someone like me will embarrass you.

S-Santa?

Kekd

>Or someone like me will embarrass you.
kek

This is sick. please kys

the flying spaghettimonster?

so clevilish its devilish

But Honestly going to church just to seduce Christian Women is fucking disgusting.

>But Honestly going to church just to seduce Christian Women is fucking disgusting.
How so?

>pic
Is this what happens to all virgins in their thirties?

Haha fuck these dudes op. You are doing gods work.

Wrong, God gave us the ability to choose. "Chadanon" sins with intent and shows no repentance nor inclination to stop, even worse he relishes in it and lead others into sin.

God not real though

My god says fucking is great, sounds like your god is just shit.

Jesus died for our sins fuckboy. God knows that humans are weak sinners. He will forgive all of us.

Attached: 1389770645939.jpg (328x449, 135K)

That is a nice sentiment, but the prophecies are fairly clear on that not being the case.
There is no God but God. You are demon worshipers.

OP here
Also, I'm black

On one hand Christianity is offshoot of jewish religion, thus it's bad, but on the other hand it keeps common people from becoming degenerates, thus it's good. I'm having mixed feelings about this whole religion thing.....

>That is a nice sentiment, but the prophecies are fairly clear on that not being the case.
ding dong ur wrong. i'll be in heaven while i'm fucking your girl and afterwards. sorry m8

I lost my time going to catechism in my childhood. Very few christian are really christian. They fornicate without any shame and the Church does nothing.

>Also, I'm black

That's bad and you know it. Not gonna make it to heaven bud.

...

So what we can learn from this story is that women are whores?

>muh Jewish fairytale
>it's Jewish religion

You know it's literally history right? It's not some made-up story, Jesus actually existed. If a guy can walk on water and get up and walk around after lying dead in a tomb for three days, I'm going to listen to him no matter where he's from or what race he is. Christianity is literally the only religion that is based on historical events, things that actually happened. Hundreds of people spoke with Jesus face-to-face after he died and rose again. Every other religion is based on mythical tales (European Paganism, Hinduism) or secret 'revelation' revealed to only one person (Islam, Mormonism). Christianity is the only one with multiple witnesses who were there at the time and saw everything that happened

Attached: 1523964561546.jpg (971x565, 141K)

Jesus will forgive me for making gains and smashing hoes right?

This, Christianity is not a derivation of judaism, it's the TRUTH!

What? Shut the fuck up cherry

Kill yourself, degenerate

On gains:
1 Cor 9:27
> But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

1 Tim 4:8
>For while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

On Hoes:
1 Cor 6:15
>Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!

Gal 5:19 - 21
> Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

On gains and hoes:
1 Cor 6:18-20
>Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

...

>>Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!
But Jesus hung out with a prostitute. He saw her as a friend. Why is it okay to befriend a whore but not fuck her?

>but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body
And here, why is it not a sin to fuck your wife but a sin to fuck a girlfriend/fiancee/random?

Serious questions btw not trolling

>you were bought with a price

Absolutely Christcuck

lol not trying to hate but that's some low morality hedonistic shit right there

There is no god at all though.

And yet, with those hundreds of eye witnesses, not a single one of them wrote down what they saw.
The only sources are the gospels, which were written decades later, and which have different accounts of the details.

Attached: 1525202616902.png (645x729, 77K)

Also calling someone who doesn't believe in demons a demon worshipper is pretty hilarious.

>But Jesus hung out with a prostitute. He saw her as a friend. Why is it okay to befriend a whore but not fuck her?
He also tells the whore to sin no more, so he gives her a chance to change her ways.

>And here, why is it not a sin to fuck your wife but a sin to fuck a girlfriend/fiancee/random?
Marriage is union in Christ with the purpose of reproduction to produce the next generation of believers. Anything outside that is succumbing to lust in Christian/Thomistic ethics

Attached: 1521518502015.jpg (1200x675, 132K)

>And yet, with those hundreds of eye witnesses, not a single one of them wrote down what they saw.

>What is literacy

chad cucks god. is there anything he cant do

Jesus didn't 'hang out' with a prostitute, he preached to sinners, including prostitutes, and told them to repent and stop living in sin. He 'hung out' with his apostles, none of whom were living in regular sin except Judas Iscariot.

It's okay to have sex with your wife because marriage is a lifetime commitment between one man and one woman, mainly for the purpose of bearing children. The purpose of sex is to create new humans - not all sex with your wife has to be procreative, but that is the ultimate reason sex exists. You wouldn't want to have children with a prostitute would you? Also you do not have the right to have sex with any woman other than your wife, that prostitute might end up being redeemed and married to a man who will accept her. You don't have the right to have sex with another man's wife, even before she marries or even meets him. Women also don't have the right to be promiscuous in the eyes of God. Sex should only be between one man and one woman, who are married to one another.

Yes, Jesus redeemed (bought) the souls of the believers when he paid the price (his life) on the cross. What's your point?

Attached: 1518980699904.jpg (404x501, 59K)

The roast thinks they are exploiting you all the while you're exploiting them. Chad AF

Literacy was far higher in the Roman empire than under the following Christian ages, when the church outlawed reading for most people.

>there is no written record
>except for this written record but I don't like it so it doesn't count

We don't yet have manuscripts that we can verify were written at that exact time =/= it wasn't written down =/= it didn't happen. There is no serious opposition to the secular information that we have, which is that Jesus lived and was crucified, and there was a large group of people who dedicated their lives to him and were willing to follow him even when it meant they would be persecuted and killed. Why would anybody at the time say that he rose from the dead and be willing to die for that fact unless they witnessed it with their own eyes?

Attached: 5533553.png (621x702, 56K)

>He also tells the whore to sin no more, so he gives her a chance to change her ways.
But he dies for my sins, all of my sins because God is omniscient and knows all of which I will commit. If God knows all, knows I sin, and thinks I am unworthy of entering Heaven what is the point of creating me? This is a serious logical flaw. If He created me knowing my fate was Hell and did so anyway then he is not Good. He is Evil.

>Marriage is union in Christ
I'm not going to lie, that shit sounds mad homo. Do you have scriptural references stating this is exactly what marriage is? It has always bothered me that some Christians get married and say God comes before their spouse. It feels wrong, like it's cheating.

>Jesus didn't 'hang out' with a prostitute,
Didn't he hang out with Mary Magdelene?

>You wouldn't want to have children with a prostitute would you?
No. That's why prophylactics exist.

>Also you do not have the right to have sex with any woman other than your wife, that prostitute might end up being redeemed and married to a man who will accept her.
This doesn't make logical sense. It's wrong for me to fuck her but not wrong for other men? But if it's wrong for other men then how is she a prostitute who is capable of redemption?

>even before she marries or even meets him
This implies a concept of fate where all things are pre-determined and goes against the concept of free will. The whole notion of God's omniscience is contradictory with the concept of free will. If God knows all that will happen then fate exists and if fate exists I am incapable of making decisions to determine my final outcome.

I want to be religious but shit like this makes no sense. What the fuck.

>Literacy was far higher in the Roman empire than under the following Christian ages, when the church outlawed reading for most people.
It was probably a bit higher but not much. People forget that the clergy was a significant part of the population in the middle ages, so most families would have at least one family member who was literate and could teach other family members if they wished to learn.

OP btfo

Just don't fuck these guys wives user. Otherwise well done

You seriously need to fucking kill yourself and join your dead wife asap. Those few moral women are just trying to keep themselves away from degeneracy while looking for a good, honest and reliable man to marry and have children with, they don't deserve to have their life ruined by a resentful piece of shit like you.

>If God knows all, knows I sin, and thinks I am unworthy of entering Heaven what is the point of creating me? This is a serious logical flaw. If He created me knowing my fate was Hell and did so anyway then he is not Good. He is Evil.
Woah dude, so God is like an evil dictator in the sky!
You have the choice of following his teachings or not. Christ brought forgiveness to the more strict Law of the OT, so if you are aware of your sins and repent sincerely, you'll be forgiven. I don't know about people who don't know the teachings of Christ and other situations, I'll leave that up to God. There's a few different ways of looking at this, like hard predetermination, the idea of the elect, etc. Most Christians who believe in free will (and not all do, it's not a necessary belief at all - genetic research even seems to show that hard genetic predetermination has some truth to it) believe in "middle knowledge".

"It is best characterized as God’s prevolitional knowledge of all true counterfactuals of creaturely freedom. This knowledge is seen by its proponents as the key to understanding the compatibility of divine providence and creaturely (libertarian) freedom (see Free Will)."
You can read the arguments and objections to this here: iep.utm.edu/middlekn/

>This doesn't make logical sense. It's wrong for me to fuck her but not wrong for other men? But if it's wrong for other men then how is she a prostitute who is capable of redemption?
If she stops sinning and repents she's capable of redemption.

>Didn't he hang out with Mary Magdelene?
He told her to sin no more along with the other sinners he preached to.

great, even good religious girls are sluts

>But he dies for my sins
The wages of sin is death. Jesus offers you eternal life. If you go on in your life living in deliberate repeated sin, then you have not accepted that gift, and you will die and go to Hell. Yes God knew before he created you whether you will go to Heaven or Hell. That doesn't make Him evil. You (and all other humans, including Christians) are evil for sinning against the God that created you. God made us, but he didn't force us to sin, we did that willingly, and we can either repent and be forgiven, or continue and be punished. God is a judge and punishes evil.

You can google the marriage stuff but here's a couple:
>God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate
(states that God aka Christ joined them together)
>Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
(refers to the relationship as 'in the Lord')

>Mary Magdalene
Mary Magdalene wasn't a prostitute, that's a myth and isn't stated anywhere in the Bible

>prophylactics
no guarantees with contraception, condoms break. Only surefire way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence. Although that's not the only reason you shouldn't have sex outside marriage

>wrong for me but not other men
Didn't say that, I literally said it's only okay for the man who accepts her as his wife

>concept of fate
Nobody can know whether or not they'll get married until they do, it doesn't imply anything. Abstinence before marriage is proper preparation for something that *might* happen. So if you slut around and you eventually end up marrying someone, then when the time comes for you to commit you will (if you're in your right mind) have the shame of your past infidelity, because you haven't actually honoured the LIFETIME commitment.

Attached: 1520948422377.png (1010x783, 331K)

god not real bro.

.t virgin

ok nerd

Attached: 1520890458211.png (350x236, 148K)

>You have the choice of following his teachings or not
If God is omniscient then he knows the outcome of creating me. There is no free will involved on my part. I cannot change fate.

>iep.utm.edu/middlekn/
>He has no control over it.
So God isn't omnipotent?

>If she stops sinning and repents she's capable of redemption.
That sidesteps my point though you addressed it with the above link which I'll read more of.

>pic related
Why do demons exist and why does sin exist? What, specifically, are the sinful actions and why did God decide they were sinful? Does the Bible state that God is infallible and perfect or can He make mistakes?

>So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate
Does this mean that if a wife sins the husband can be punished for it or vice versa?

>Mary Magdalene wasn't a prostitute, that's a myth and isn't stated anywhere in the Bible
Where did this myth come from? What does the Bible say she was?

>because you haven't actually honoured the LIFETIME commitment.
Huh. Interesting concept, I never thought about it that way.

Do either of you know where to get a good (not a shitty translation) free or cheap Bible? I've heard the KJV is best but from what little I know I'm interested in Eastern Orthodoxy. Is the KJV Bible appropriate for that denomination?

>argues about fake muh divine rules online
>calls people nerds
not gonna make it.

>demons
Angels were created by God to serve him and carry out his will. Satan was an angel who wanted to become equal to God and rebelled against him. Demons are the angels that rebelled with Satan and followed him instead of God.

>sin
Sin is anything that is disobedience to God. Any number of things could be counted as sin so there are too many specific actions to list but the Ten Commandments are a good starting point. Sin and demons exist because opposition to God exists. Yes god is perfect and does not make mistakes
>This God—his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.
>You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
>Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

You could probably pick up a free bible at a church, most churches will tend to hand out at least the New Testament for free. Bear in mind you can find literally every translation of the Bible online for free, if you want to pick up a physical copy of the entire book you might have to pay for it, like any other book it costs money to produce. KJV is great but not used by Orthodox, they have other books in scripture called the Apocrypha which are historical writings not present in standard KJV Bibles, although you can get copies of the KJV with Apocrypha.