Serious thread

will racists please leave this board

He's taking you to the gym with him, he's not going to cheat on you.

Arguably, fitness is important to him and he wants to share that with you, I understand that you have that sense of insecurity as if hes enjoying the attention (he probably is, who wouldn't) but he's not going to act on it if he truly likes you.

Also I don’t get upset every time it happens. Only some days where i’m already dealing with insecurities and I notice him doing it, it’s just hard to ignore. But I do focus on myself and just try to better myself because at the end of the day it matters what I think about myself... but like I said I make so many sacrifices for him already and it’s just fucking annoying seeing it happen right in front of me

Women in yoga pants are distracting, if it's really an issue tell him, talk to him about it person to person, just be reasonable, tell him it's ok if he does look as a reaction/instinct, but sustained staring at asses is over the line. Use the wife checking out hot dudes line if you want, make the situation equivalent.

>I understand that guys obviously have a harder time controlling themselves
This is false, men and women are the same in this regard. SOunds like you don't respect men as equals to women, which is probably the basis of your entire insecurity. Once you can truly respect men for what they are and how they act naturally, you won't solve this problem.

I was just basing that opinion off of almost every response from a guy on this thread. I think guys just have more excuses for their actions therefore they appear to not have as much self control. I didn’t say women don’t do the same though.

She said she's not worried about him hitting on them.

Also, this isn't when you use tits or gtfo you retard.

I don't know if you're still here OP but I'll reply with my own experiences

I'm a 23 year old male and I've been with the same girl since I was 19. I love her with all of my heart and we've got a great relationship.

That being said, I check out other women. It's hard not to notice or admire attractive people. I'm sure you've checked out guys despite being in a relationship. There's nothing wrong with it unless you act on it. However doing it in front of your partner, especially if you're not hiding it, is just clearly disrespectful.

I'd have a conversation with him and let him know that you don't appreciate seeing him checking out other people in front of you. I think demanding that he never looks at other women is a step too far, but lay out clear boundaries. You can look but don't look too long, and don't do it in front of me. You need to rein him in a little, but you need to first understand that not all instances of checking someone out is with ill intent

Good luck to you

Look, don't bring your gf to the gym it freaks out the other guys.

Also I think it’s sad that men just use the excuse that women are distracting and hard to look away from. Just because there’s some fucking sexy man whore giving me attention or looking at me doesn’t mean I feed into it by doing the same right back when I’m married. What kind of message does that send? That i’m not happily married. That’s why it pisses me off to see my husband do it. It sends the message that he’s not happily married and that he would rather gain the attention of other females than ignore them and not stare at them

Post pics, lots of delusional butter-golems consider themselves attractive, doesn't mean the rest of the world agrees.

As a male in a longterm (5+ years) relationship, I look at hot girls at the gym too, and they look at me. Doesn't mean I plan to cheat or fuck them, but looking isn't a crime.

Seems like no one ever brings it up or it's taboo to talk about but having sex with the same person for years gets boring as fuck. I'd literally rather beat off most of the time nowadays, but a few years ago we'd be fucking like rabbits 3-4x a day everyday. Variety is the spice of life. If he's a good husband and faithful to you and you guys have a stable/happy relationship, this is just one of those things that you should not worry about. Expecting him to only be attracted to you and abstain from looking, letalone talking/touching other women, is not only controlling and insecure, it's not natural.

Gays like you need a good genocide

You shouldnt worry about it but tease him a bit to let him know youre aware

What sort of attention are we talking about here? A glance is one thing but you're making it sound like there is unashamed flirting going in. I think you know your answer. One of these is obviously not acceptable, the other is something that can be over come if you bring it to their attention as a problem.

the church set the boundaries, chill dude.

the Pilgrims left their fucking continent to get away from this shit, so I'm inclined to believe
tell me more about these
>physical and psychological changes
I've never heard about this before.
tell me more.

>Don't you realize that you are in fact stating unequivocally that rape is A-okay?
how did you logical leap to this statement?

>the church set the boundaries
then it's not your marriage you nigger fucking whore, it's the churches.
"your" husband doesn't owe you shit.

It's a valid concern on your part. Talk to him about it, ask him to stop but don't be a bitch when doing it.

I was going to reply but has it exactly correct

There's a very clear and distinct separation between looking at someone for a second or two and actively engaging with someone while motivated by attraction

Maybe youre not as attractive as you think....

Also, men might love steak and eat it every day but that doesn't mean he doesn't want chicken sometimes.

Imagine being so insecure you expect your husband to be so obedient that he never even looks at another woman.
He is exercising self-control - he's not talking to, flirting with, or making advances on other girls.

I swear women just don't understand that it is male nature/instinct to reproduce with as many females as possible, and committing to a monogamous relationship where you only have sex with 1 person for your whole life isn't natural. Society obviously conditions us to be in monogamous relationships which is a learned behavior, but if he is just looking at other women, while otherwise being a good partner then you should be happy. He is inviting you to work out with him, if he wanted to creep on other girls you wouldn't be invited.

>wahhhhhh
go to reddit if you can't handle people using the n-word

OP here...
I think i’ve got my answers. Thanks

read these posts and ignore the others OP, you've come to the wrong place if you're looking for relationship advice from well-adjusted people. the most vocal people on this site are those that have already been discarded by society and you'd have to be dumb to take them seriously

>a women over valuing how attractive she is

...no way

Not OP, but educating people on grade school biology doesnt make you sound very smart my dude.
It's also in your nature to take a shit when your colon tells you to, but you dont just just pull down your pants wherever you are in front of people you dont know and take a dump (unless you're a pajeet, HEH) - because your presumably a somewhat civilized human being.

Therefor that line of reasoning is fucking retarded. You resist all sorts of urges all day every day, and so can he, in this specific situation.

Lol I get that. And if that lifestyle that you so crazily believe is what you prefer then for fuck’s sake never get married. But my husband made a fucking choice to commit his life with me and if I can’t expect to him to keep his vows to me then all males are horrible fucking people. I’m talking about someone who believes in marriage so at this point your opinions don’t belong on this thread.

>I never set the bounderies of my relationship
>the church did that I don't have to accept the responsibility of maintaining my own life
>MY HUSBAND IS LITERALLY THE WORST FOR NOT ACTING LIKE I AM THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE
She's being a fucking faggot.

Translation: I got served with some real talk that didn't validate my bat-shit-crazy unrealistic expectations. I'm probably also not as good looking as I think I am.

>OP comes to thread looking for advice
>only replies to the people who feed into her 'men are dogs' narrative
>doesn't reply to any of the reasonable and genuine advice

i think you already decided your opinion on the matter before coming here so what was the point of this thread?

Men check out females for different reasons than women. Women will check out a guy, and remember him/fantasise about him later or whatever. Men will check out a girl and forget about her in 5 seconds. As a general rule anyway. So you probably have a more offensive idea of what's happening than most of the men here. It is still disrespectful though. One other thing is that men don't really consciously know they're doing it a lot of the time. I've found many times that I've been trying to train and my eyes are on a woman's body without me consciously moving them there, don't know ofit'sits the same for women. Not that I'm absolving him of blame here but you know. Let's twist it around a bit though, what kind of clothes do you wear to the gym? If it's provocative, I'm sure there are many guys staring at you, do you think this is disrespectful? Do you ever look at the other guys in the gym? You've probably done it without realising and your husband has noticed and felt the same. If it really bothers you a lot then speak to him about it though. Or get a home gym.

God you're an edgy faggot

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She literally just thanked us for our answers you paranoid little incel.

Get you rrevenge by cheating on him. Then divorce his sorry ass for the new guy.

That's the impression that I get as well, but I expect hyperbole from people posting on anonymous syberian auto repair forums which is why I think it's better to ask her to clarify what her husband is doing.

It’s because you literally do not understand what it’s like to be a guy. Try reading accounts of women that undergo hormone therapy to become men. You’ll find they can’t believe how sex-crazed they become and can’t stop staring at whoever they’re attracted to.

i agree that she's got her own more important personal issues that need resolving but some of the other replies will only serve to reaffirm what she thinks about men

>You have to be responsible for your own life and explain your bounderies to those you have a relationship with
yeah sure that's edgy
you're a faggot OP

well we've finally hit the root of the problem

you came off as a rightfully offended wife but there's obviously many layers beneath that that's fueling your feelings towards your husband. you ought to seek therapy because your marriage is doomed if y'all's problems aren't addressed in a professional fashion

>go back to Ledit OWNED xD

I fucking hate summer

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Go back

No I don’t understand what it’s like to be a guy. That’s why I am reading all of your opinions. Because I just don’t understand why I can live with self control but when it comes to my husband it’s like he’s not a human like me who can willingly do things and also willingly NOT do things. And like a lot of you said, it’s just disrespectful... and when I do try to talk to him about important personal things he turns into stone and sits in silence so instead of having a normal conversation about our own problems it turns into something that sounds like a mother scolding her child. So what the fuck am I suppose to do with that?

nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger niggerniggerniggernigrergnignigenignignigniegniegni

>my husband looked at another woman in the gym
>this renders our marriage null and void because he broke his vows
>all men are horrible
I don't blame him for looking at other women if this is how mature you are

His vows included not looking at other women ever again? All males are evil because your husband looked at an attractive woman in skin tight clothing? I was with you when I started reading this thread

On Jow Forums everyone is a nigger, shut your whining

Bottom line: if he makes an actual effort to not check out other women, like turning his back to the rest of the room and so on, but still occasionally slips, you should let it slide. But if he’s not even trying and uses “I’m a guy” as an excuse, you’re right to be pissed off.

You're the incel if you think what she said wasn't passive aggressive, or at the very least not a sincere thank you. Spend more time around women

I don't crazily believe in a polyamorous lifestyle hopping from woman to woman. I am in a committed longterm relationship and I love my partner. But if a 10/10 girl walks by in yoga pants and a sports bra my lizard brain kicks into action and I look in her direction. Do I creepily gaze at her for 30 seconds and go lift dumbbells next to her hoping to spur a conversation and get a better look? No, I exercise that self-control you're talking about. But to expect a man to not innately look at an attractive female is completely unrealistic. I must have missed the part of marriage where briefly looking at other human beings wearing clothes designed specifically to be looked at is grounds for divorce. Please seek therapy.

He's probably doing the best he can. Hot women are hot women and the eyes wander subconsciously to things that are pleasant to look at. Don't worry too much about it. Maybe bang him after the gym or something idk.

Start the conversation gently and unassuming and vulnerable. Say how it makes you feel and ask if he understands, don't show step emotions, like sadness or anger, or it'll make him feel guilty or negatively in some way, which will make him defensive. If this doesn't work, try and go to couples therapy.

>basing your opinion of men off of Jow Forums
>doesn’t set boundaries in her own relationship tries to use the church
> b8 picture in OP
Either this is b8 and I’m biting or you’re a shit person to be in a relationship with.Also this should probably be moved to Jow Forums. Sage

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Oh for fucks sake. Your life must be so hard to have clicked on a thread and been dissappointed. Fuck off

Stop going to the gym with your boyfriend. You'll both get better work outs and you can both stare at whoever you want.

I specifically brought up vows to the fucker or was trying to preach about how it’s “male instinct” to not want to have sex with 1 person for the rest of your life. Which was part of my point when I said my husband made a choice to be in a marriage where he vowed to be loyal and committed. I’m not fucking saying his vows were that he couldn’t look at another female. FUCK that would make me a horrible wife/person.

I’ve really considered this but it would complicate both our schedules even more

I’m a very emotional person so that could be difficult but like I said whenever I bring up anything serious he goes stone cold.

By the amount you're using "fuck" now, you're obviously triggered.

maybe you should look for advice on Tumblr.

Still waiting for your picture.

Get hotter. Then he will be checking you out when gym thot isn't around.

I do the same. Most guys don't want to talk about their feelings or they just don't care about a lot of the stuff women want to talk about to be honest [actual relationship issues aside]. And in my case it's either stone cold silence or me going completely off the rails and saying some dumb/mean shit I'd regret so I usually just shut down in such conversations, maybe he just has a hard time articulating what he wants to say back without it coming out wrong or being taken the wrong way. Most men operate at a surface level: what you see is what you get. There's no hidden meaning or reading between the lines of what theyre saying/doing. It is what it is.

Also I can't speak for all men but for me personally, if things are going well and I'm content there is no need to talk about shit. If there's an issue I'll bring it up or listen to what you're upset about, but otherwise not talking = things are just fine. My girlfriend is the opposite and feels like if we're not constantly chitchatting about inane bullshit then something must be wrong. No bitch I just spent my whole day dealing with people and want to enjoy some goddamn peace and quiet.

Is this still about him just checking out hot women?
It sounds like he's cheated before or something

Nah my life’s pretty easy, I don’t have to deal with a marriage that’s falling apart

You mean the urge to fuck a weak sexy woman? Damn I didn't know the husband was a serial rapist monster

>comes onto an anonymous Laotian combat fishing appreciation forum to complain about husband finding other women attractive
>says it's a nonissue when it clearly is an issue
>pretends like it's impossible to find people other than your spouse attractive and not be interested in them further than that

How about blaming everyone else for your shit you take some personal responsibility?

That makes a lot of sense. But he talks to me about work and gym stuff a lot and I engage because I know he genuinely wants to talk but as soon as a problem arises it’s like he doesn’t care enough to even say how he feels about the situation. And I honestly dread going to the gym now because I leave feeling the same way almost every time. I would say we have a great sex life too but i’m Afraid that’s just because other things are going wrong and we use that as a way to get rid of tension..

Like I get that I have other issues to work on and no one is perfect. I was cheated on in my last relationship of 4 years so it’s just hard to see what’s even real when it comes to a relationship anymore.

No no, that's what the church is for.
FAGGOT NIGGER

>t. just took English 101

Is he a good husband? Do you want to damage the reletionship with you paranoid/jelous outbursts?

Honestly this may sound beta as fuck but its worked for me and may work for him to help with the shutting down -- If it's an actual serious issue that needs to be talked about, get him to write it down in an email or fb message or whatever and send it. Then he can put his thoughts down unfiltered without worrying about blurting the wrong thing out or hurting your feelings etc. For me it's not because I am/was scared to face the issue, but more that I am not good at vocalizing my thoughts/feelings on the spot and in the moment, I need time to formulate what I want to say and how I want to say it. When Im forced to talk about it on the spot in the heat of the moment I either say some dumb regrettable shit or my mind goes blank and I have trouble explaining everything without forgetting or glossing over 90% of my feelings on the subject. Having as much time as I need to jot things down, edit it for clarity, and make sure it's coming across the way I want it to helps immensely. It's helped my GF and I when we dealt with some things in the past.

Also it sounds like you have trust issues due to your last relationship which is understandable. Something I've dealt with too, where you're constantly on the lookout for signs of him being unfaithful or losing interest etc and are hyper sensitive to things, such as him looking other girls at the gym. My GF caught me looking at a girl doing squats once and brought it up like a hundred times down the road, but I honestly was looking in her direction and kind of spacing out thinking about other stuff so it looked like I was oogling her. But ofc the GF didn't really buy it haha.

Polygamy is natural and normal. If he does it you need to accept it, but if you have the slightest desire to be disloyal to him then you are evil. You need to learn to accept reality and what is moral and good.

Without the male providing for the female and his offspring, the survival of the offspring is compromised. That is why males invest in long term relationship.

However, if you have the opportunity to have another female shit out bastards that you will not provide for on the side, without any cost to pay for the sex, you would be a fool (evolutionary speaking) not to go for it.

Hence the current situation : we want long term relationship, but cheap sex with no strings attached on the side will always be tempting.

>humans look at other attractive humans, what should i do about it

Change species? Alter your husbands dna so he doesnt find attractive women attractive? I dunno. Or you could just get over it.

That’s really helpful. I keep telling him communication is key to a good marriage.

And yeah being cheated on literally changes how you deal with everything in future relationships which is probably why i’m fucked in the head but I suck it up most of the time and don’t even say anything when shit bothers me. But it’s gotten to a point where it’s all I think about when i’m At the gym with him.

>merely looking at other people is bad
If you people had your way I'd never be able to socialize with anyone or anywhere just because there might be someone of the opposite gender there.

It's not like he's flirting with other women, cheating, partying without you, or clubbing, so suck it up. If he does do any of those things, you gotta cut it off immediately.

Yeah you are not BEING an insecure bitch, you ARE an insecure bitch.

>I would consider myself attractive and i’m not worried he would hit on them or cheat on me.

So why would it be annoying then?
I wouldn't mind my girl looking at other dudes cause they're attractive or muscular, I fucking do it myself constantly. You're jealous as fuck because he's not giving you 100% attention. It's obvious how your relationship works though just by the fact he tries to hide it. You brow beat his beta male ass and you're actually VERY worried he will cheat on you or leave you.

If it was you and I in a relationship I would be explicit in who I find attractive to the point where I would point the girls out to you. I'd also point jacked motherfuckers or cute guys out too.

>but as a woman who makes so many sacrifices already would just appreciate self control.

LOL such as?

Xi obviously don't know where xir at do you? Fuck up and out MY board, you reject fuck.

YOUR board? Lmao

>husband finding other women attractive
How are you ever going to fucking stop this outside of effective chemical castration?
Are you a Franxxfag?

There's a huge difference between checking out a girl and fucking her, but you wouldn't know that you feminist.

Okay, admittedly it could be slippery slope. But if you got skills you let him roam A LITTLE, then reel him back in BEFORE he's out of sight. Even the densest man can learn to stop straying soon enough.

yeah I own this board, bitch ass. foh

Hahahaha okay

You see that?
You have to push the idea and a certain logic and even passively but obviously shame any men who fall outside of your fantasy.
If it was 100% true then the logic would be apparent and not forced.

Women still need men to take care of the children. The man in this question is the big government and the men who've been made into slaves by the court to take care of children that in a large unmber of cases are not their own.

Your narrative is an attempt to normalize and create a ridiculous as fuck narrative based on an imbeciles understanding of evolution.

Men would not just randomly fuck any old thot who's begging for the dick or rape any cunt that's within grabbing distance.
This creates the fantasy notion that men have no taste, self control, or personal standards.
This is something that allows women to be the most useless retarded garbage on earth and still ensure that they'll be taken care of and get some dick and children.
Why on earth would evolution want the physically mentally and psychologically INFERIOR women to breed and or take the place of an objectively superior woman who could have been knocked up?
It doesn't make any sense.
Men have limited amounts of vigor and seed.
We can't just keep pumping it out over and over again for every woman.
Not only that, but all men need to go out and do the things that make us healthy and strong and virile to maintain our vitality and create positive epiginetic changes that will be passed along to our children from our sperm.

I brought my gf of 2 months to the gym, taught her how to lift, basic form etc. A couple weeks later I dumped her. Now I still have to see the bitch every time I go. She won't talk to me/look at me, but insists on going to the same gym (that isn't anywhere even close to convenient for her to go to) She must drive 20 minutes out of her way to go to my gym.

Don't bring your girl to the gym

Have you told him?
Am I falling for b8?
What is real?

t. lonely

They really should its just cringe and edginess

Yogapants and leggins are nearly impossible to ignore for a man even if he doesnt want to look, its like a tv screen that you see out of the corner of your eye

leave him then

>Am I just being an insecure bitch? Or is this valid to be annoyed about?
you're just an insecure bitch

Buzzword buzzword buzzword buzzword, buzzword buzzword buzzword.

1/10 bait, i fucking replied

Im going to be real frank with you op. If you want this to stop, then you need to try harder in the gym. If you looked like these girls, and gave him the attention he is fantasizing about he would stop. The honeymooning sounds like it needs to start with you. I highly doubt he is thinking depraved fetish-esque things. POST BODY OP

Call him out on that shit