Bearmode

Yeah, Sheiko is so lacking on that regard. Do you recommend any routine in particular?

>How do I into bearmode?
Alright, find yourself some nice woods. Preferably full of food, If it's got deer and shit, the better. You have to eat everything. EVERYTHING. If you find picnics, raid it for food. Don't accept no for an answer. You're a bear now. YOU FUCKING LOVE PICNICS. Eat any food you find. Honey's great too, try not to get stung too much, but you want those carbs to fill you up. Eating as much as you can is paramount to your transformation into a bear.

Now you've got to make sure there's some competition as well, shit like wolves, mountain lions, other bears. Now if you see a wolf, going for your food, you straight up kill and eat it. Don't forget to mark your territory by the way. Your territory is the entire forest, now I know what you're thinking. "An entire forest? I don't have that much pee!" Well bro, you're a bear, you don't give a fuck if you pee or not, you've got to make that forest yours.

If you spot a mountain lion, your goal is to scare it away. That food is cool, but mountain lions are kind of endangered species, so you should only eat them if they offer themselves to you. A monthly tithe of one mountain lion should suffice, make sure they know you're the boss.

If you find other bears. Check if it's male. Mark your territory again. Don't eat the bear. It's to respect you, and you should it too. If one attacks you, slay it and wear it's body as a warning to other bears. If you find a female bear, check if it has a mate. If it doesn't, you've got to seduce it. You have no choice, you're a bear now... your soul goal in life is to fuck shit up, fuck bears, and not give a fuck.

Attached: cocainebear.jpg (800x450, 57K)

When you start the process, of rightful evolution to bear. You brave the gauntlet. You must do this without clothes. The hairier you are the more you will bear your transformation and the bearier you will become.

In the woods there are many scavengers, and some pack animals. Feral Dogs. The Wolves included. Small children. The quicker you take out the alpha male, the more the rest will come to respect you. The faster these pack animals respect you, the faster the rest of the forest.

I can't stress how important food is to become a bear. Marking your territory is the fastest step to becoming king of the animal kingdom. So that food can be acquired quickly. If your tank is empty, shit all over everything. If another bear comes to consume your food? Shit on it. The bear will become disillusioned with it. With your guts empty you will be hungry for more food. Devour the rival bear. Consume all the food that you find.

Other times may come when it is not convenient for you to take a dump. Times of danger. If you run out of pee, start masturbating. You see that log there? Jizz on it. That river? Jizz in it. That potential mate? start to jizz.

If hikers lay their eyes upon you in this act of nature. Remember that you are bear. NEVER forget that you are bear. You are Hairy. Virile. Strong. Adopt your bear stance, stand on your hind legs, as if to show your strength. Display your hairy body, call out with your bear roar and make your gutteral growls. Make sure your feet are planted firm, dominate the ground and make your bear feet tracks.

But whatever your decision for your bear stance, do not stop masturbating. This is the most important aspect of being a bear. Maintain eye contact, look deep into their pupils. Deeper. Transmit thel fear and respect you deserve. For you are bear. Most majestic creature of the forest. Many might take photos, this is natural, so that they may gaze upon your strength later.

Attached: bearsex.jpg (480x360, 21K)

As long as you keep eating, and being the most dangerous thing in the room, you should transform just fine. Many have tried to follow this journey before you. Many have failed, few have succeeded. You know what you have to do.

Attached: rightful place in evolution.jpg (300x168, 7K)

brb gonna shit in the woods + turn into bear bye

How much effort did you put into writing this, user

about 20 minutes of my life seven years ago.

this only raises more questions
like how did you keep this saved for seven years

what does 1/2/3/4 mean

either way my goal bod is

cloud storage