Gym cringe thread

>oh yeah,I'm doing Arnonld's workout programm now,gonna get BIG!

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>been going to the gym for almost a year now
>roommate tired of being small and weak but refuses to go to the gym with me
>unironically tells me he thinks he's getting stronger from filling his backpack with textbooks and curling it a few times

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Arnold split is unironically good.

>he thinks arnolds program wont get you big

>Not knowing about textbook routine
Going a year you say?

>i do squads for the HGH increase

I “accidentally” slept with a powerlifter chick from my gym who outlifts me

>alternating dumbell press sitting on a fucking exercise ball
>guillotine bench pressing with legs crossed in the air

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>go to gym past 10pm on a weekend night
>see younger guys there age >25
>baby lifts no mass

I nickname everyone first thing i think of and for these guys it was retard virgin. Thats kinda harsh ill put them on hold til something better comes to mind

>younger guys
>older than 25

so you're an old bitter 4channer? yikes

Outstanding move

Implying you had a choice

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I am 27 and not bitter. At their age (17-23) i was partying from Wednesday night to Monday morning. They are also not impressive at all. I would understand if they had big lifts or were on drugs and were huge and ripped. These are the dedicated few and it’s understandable why you’d be working out at that time.

But these guys got nothing going on for them and being at the gym is doing way more harm than good. Not to mention they are making 0 gains over these months.

That is a textbook strength routine
Educate yourself

Kek

I know what you mean bra.
When dat chick is grunting while doing hiplifts with 2,5 kilo's before checking her phone and then you sit down with over 4x the weight and quietly work on your gains while she's Instagram-ing how hard it is. You just know these chicks will end up chubby/fat at 22.

Oh, you just don't know how to use greater than and less than signs. The alligator eats the bigger number, user.

Anything after 25 is 30, pops

Literally anything 99% of normies say about fitness is retarded
>girl in my friend group
>short and pretty fat
>carries it well but could probably lose 30 lbs
>"yeah I just don't look like what I weigh I just have a ton of muscle"
>"during the season my shoulder would get so broad and my legs are already so muscular so I don't like to lift"

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Let's see...
>no gains
>taking up equipment
>not high

Sounds like your judgment is in order. Sorry for stopping you, carry on.

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> I don't want to lift weights because I'll turn into a bodybuilder by accident and people won't think I'm feminine anymore.

>Literally anything 99% of normies say about fitness is retarded
Pretty much. Used to follow IF regularly. My friend's very overweight gf tells him how unhealthy I am for waiting until 4pm to eat. Boggles the mind.

One of my good friends dropped this on me yesterday
>yeah I literally just can't gain weight
>I went to a sports doctor and im 3% body fat
he's a lean guy but like come on now

i know this one is ridiculously common but i still clench my fists in rage every time because you know what's going on behind the curtain

either complete retardation that'll never be cured or a level of self-denial that requires willful complicity in your own destruction

in either case why am i even in speaking distance of this person

yeah a great majority of women have both of those things

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>Fitlit

In the process to 'accidentally' get a powerlifter girl in bed myself.

BRAH

>Be me noticeably Jow Forums
>Manager asks me how to lose weight and get lean
>I go full autismo and unleash my power level by talking about fasting and nutrition.
>Tell my manager i’m trying to cut down 10 more lbs for spring break (why did I do that)
>Fat manager goes “Yeah I just want to lose a couple of pounds and “maintain”.
My manager is easily 40-50lbs overweight and she always talks about how she’s in the gym everyday but she still eats like a pig....

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Who the fuck is Arnonld

why do I keep seeing this pic on Jow Forums all the time? what's wrong with what this dude is doing? I only work out at home and I don't know much about the machines or the gym etiquette

Hes got fairly big arms too be honest.
What is his routine?

Saw this shit go down last week
>At gym with gymbro
>Triceps/Chest day, making all kinds of gains
>Suddenly THAT guy walks in
>Longpants, hoodie, earbuds
>Fucking EARBUDS in a gym that already blasts music
>Goes straight to the squatrack without even warming up
>Starts squatting just the bar (wat)
>Adds some weight and squats like 4-5 times before having to sit down
>Unloads the bar, red as a tomato already
>Starts doing overhead press, with THE SAME FUCKING BAR
>Entiregymstaring.exe
>Does the same shit there, doesnt even use clips
>Gymowner stares at him from the receptiondesk
>Prob wonders if he´s liable if the kid kills himself
>Somehow survives anyways, deloads the bar
>Starts DEADLIFTING WITH THE SAME BAR
>Gymbro just mouthing "what the fuck" and stops in the middle of his set
>Does one fucking set of deadlifts
>Deloads the bar and walks out
>Doesnt even fucking shower
>Comes back a couple of days later IN THE SAME FUCKING CLOTHES

Saw him weighing himself in the gym, fucktard even seemed to GAIN weight

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There is nothing wrong with this. It's obvious that you're dyel.

you deserve to die

Shut up
Lurk more

it's a meme because "he has small arms and he's squatting :DD"

Maybe you should lurk more

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They think by doing any weight training they’ll instantly look like a man when it takes years of dedicated training to get that much mass.

And his course is even better

Stop posting me

my friend once told me that reading actually burns fat because it makes your brain work out and that's enough of a work out to be healthy

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This is why I work out at the library

>tfw lanklet boomer trying to work out again
i thought people at the gym were nice why are you judging me..

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Whats wrong with doing OHP with the same bar you use for the squat?

this is how the average female looks after curling a dumbell above 2,5kgs for less than 25 reps

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>Fucking EARBUDS in a gym that already blasts music
That's when it's needed most. I'm so tired of neo-nog music being standard play, it kills my jive utterly.
>Comes back a couple of days later IN THE SAME FUCKING CLOTHES
So? I do my laundry every four days or so, due to wearing uniforms, pajamas, regular clothes, going to the gym everyday sometimes twice,etc.

>with gymbro
Knew it’s a shitpost here

it's a pretty shitty routine: just squats, overhead press, and deadlifts

youtube.com/watch?v=0SxBJdcbWn8

lmao just watch this

kek

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SS + GOMAD

i used to do this without the autistic curling. Walked to school with weights in my backpack.
started with 10 pounds and worked my way up to 35 pounds. Dont know if i got "stronger" but something definitely changed, 35 pounds felt easy in the end.

Shit man all these kids making fun of you for being 27. I grew up playing almost every sport and working out. At 30 I could outlift, outfuck and outfight my early-mid twenties self.

Life doesn’t end after 25 Jow Forums‘ it just gets better.

Literally anything 99% of normies say about non-obvious things that can be rigorously examined and tested is retarded.

Normie literally take programming instructions from entertainment and people trying to make them buy shit (those are often the same thing). Concepts that are boring and don't make people much money aren't going to help those things so you don't hear about it.

Really anything non fitness people say when they start feeling insecure about being in worse shape than you

> oh I don't have time to lift all day
> I eat healthy I just cant gain muscle / lose fat because reasons
> oh wow user your diet is rough do you hate yourself
> I'm small but I could shoot you with my gun
> girls don't even like muscles that's why you have a gf and I'm single
> have you seen this video of Jackie Chan beating up a 400lb bodybuilder
> yeah haha I used to be bigger than you when I was 250lb lean in hs
> I don't care much about muscles I just want to be fit. My 100m time? I dunno, why?
> high protein diets kill you
> I'm going to start going to the gym in a few weeks
> my muscle is really dense so even though I look small I can lift cars easily

Etc

If one of those books is starting strength then he's likely already stronger than you

The brain mainly feeds on sugar and relies on the cory cycle when your glycogen reserves are low. I don't think ketones can even enter the brain but correct me if I'm wrong.

you missed one
>.8-1.4g/lb??? THAT'S WAYYY TOO MUCH

When I'm doing cardio I wear a backpack that's filled with water bottles, it helps me build my calf muscles.

to fluster normies who get insecure because they don't know what he's doing wrong, when in reality there is absolutely nothing wrong with what he's doing in the picture

your 1rm

there are a ton of unironically bitter and angry incels on Jow Forums who have legit mental illness or personality issues and just come here to make other people feel bad

a lot of lifters also get a sense of entitlement to their gains after a few years, and forget all the people and circumstances that helped them along the way. they like to pretend that anyone who's within X years of them and less progressed is a failure.

it's shitty behavior unbecoming of a fitness board and you should ignore it

>> have you seen this video of Jackie Chan beating up a 400lb bodybuilder
the funniest thing about this is they're comparing themselves to a world class martial artist as if that's any easier to achieve.

this

>was partying from Wednesday night to Monday morning

I can't think of a less fulfilling existence.

hes not wrong
intense brain activity burn up to 20% more energy
but it's not lifting

>during the season

Wut? Does this bitch have a rigidly determined mating window or something?

Arnonld Schrawnozenigger, have you not heard of him

>using allibetas instead of chadodiles

>I just want to get toned

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>that 27y old boomer

I would have kicked that twat out immediately if I was the gym owner. I'm in absolute shock over what I've just read.

> high protein diets kill you

Arnolds full body program, which he used for training natties, is solid

Also, agonist-antagonist splits make more sense than PPL

>walk into gym with gf
>took a break from lifting so currently dyel lifting baby weights
>all the regulars think I'm a NYR fag and the autists try to mog me by outlifting me with lifts I'm doing
>some outright try to take equipment I'm using thinking I won't say anything
>always call these autists out then laugh with gf while they apologize
>go home and fuck gf post workout while knowing these virgins have a hateboner for me

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>people who don't drink water get kidney stones from high protein
>this somehow means it's bad

dead meme

Guy sounds like a huge fag tb h

holy shit you scream dyel incel

How about spending hours of Jow Forums every day

>10 reps in 16 seconds
>incline bench
>drinking shake at the gym (excusable if moving 4pl8+)
>gloves, mask, memetape
>wearing a hoodie or sweatshirt
>only one earbud in, as if anyone wants to talk to him

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>wearing a hoodie or sweatshirt

Sorry but the gym's pretty cold and it's winter so I'm going to wear my hoodie until I've done a few sets and warmed up.

Same. Some winter days I cant go without hoodie

That's fair, I live in a relatively really warm area so I didn't even think about that, just remembering things I saw in my gym that make me cringe.
>guy sweating completely, even to the hoodie, red face and out of breath in the dumbbell area

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You will take my intra workout carbs from my cold dead hands you fucking dyel

>took a break

like a 2 year break?

I wear gloves sometimes because heavy weights rip my hands. Not for curl, lel. Just pull-downs/hanging stuff.

Tis my third time seeing this exact greentext
Fuck off user, nobody wants to hear about your only visit to the gym

Kek this is literally me

>not bullying the gym twink
that moment when you realize you're the star of your own gym cringe story

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I have a light foot fetish and asked my girl if I could suck and lick her toes a couple times. Now she's sticking her feet in my face constantly and making me suck her toes all the time because she likes it

Nice

What does this have to do with anything???

>he posted it again

>Gymbro just mouthing "what the fuck" and stops in the middle of his set
gets me every time

lets be honest the only reason it was an accident is that you thought it was a dude
traps go both ways

Nice but im definitely the skinny dude trying to outdo someone else