yo, Jow Forums, does anyone here know my feel? >missing a sense for life >hence no lust for living >nothing i previously enjoyed entices me anymore >feeling estranged from the world >tfw no spiritualiy anymore >theres beauty, i can see it, but i cant connect i'm dead inside and feel utterly depressed. what do?
>inb4 therapy i don't want to go to therapy because i feel like therapy could in the best case only fix me in order to function and get on, which is not what i want at all. i want to get back my sense for life, my link to the actual world, my spirituality, if i even had such. and i cant imagine anything more estranging and mojo killing than going to some paid, trained shrink to talk about this shit and get some pills prescribed.
i think that therapy would only hide a question that i actually want to see either answered or disappear altogether. am i wrong?
>don't really achieve much except for good marks at school and being slightly above average at cricket >don't believe I can achieve anything, find the idea of me ever having a proper job/sexual relations unthinkable >Have little motivation to do it despite conscious thought because I fundamentally dont think of my self as able to ever be a proper member of society >Spend the majority of my life distracting myself, here, YouTube, porn, drinking. Even going to bed I get caught in shit thought cycles and need to phone post to distract myself >Achieve nothing
